Only Hope
by onemakaveli96
Summary: Izzie has joined the Dirty Mistresses Club and found an ally in its founder. Sloan's pact draws unforseen consequences. Izzie is pushed to a new dangerous territory. Feelings evolve, dilemmas arise. Slight Addex. McStizzie. Complete!
1. Don't Speak

_Only one good thing can come out of the last, horrible Grey's episode, and that is that McSteamy and Izzie now have something in common. Now I gots to do something with that...!_

_**ENJOY!!!**_

"Don't Speak"

_An induction of sorts to the Dirty Mistresses Club_

There were many things in Isobel Steven's life that had changed her. Some for the better, some for the worse. She had decided though that all changes, all catastrophes brought along with them a small little positive thing. With her daughter there had been a sense of a better future for the little girl. With Alex had come along Denny. With Denny had come along a hospital for the uninsured. With Meredith...well, she had lived, so for that she was plainly grateful.

But this she couldn't do anything with. She lost her best friend, probably for good. She had lost the respect of her friends, and even worse, her self-respect. There was no dignity left. No reason to boast, no pride. She was simply an adulterer. She had slept with a married man, and any which way you looked at it, it was bad.

She choked as she was overcome with emotions. She had bottled it up all morning, but that cold glare from Dr. Torres had done her in. George obviously had told her. Callie had no doubt wept. Her eyes were cold and red. Then she passed Dr. Montgomery, who glanced at her momentarily before turning. It was moment of judgment, one which she probably had no right to as Dr. Montgomery-Shepard, a married woman, had slept with her other best friend of the time. All the same, Izzie knew that Dr. Montgomery had always held her in high regard, and now she was like the rest of them.

It was a confirmation that Isobel Stevens had turned around and become another doctor involved with the wrong person. And tears finally fell. She buried her head and rocked silently as she began questioning her self-worth.

She was in a supply closet, it being the closest, most abandoned room she could find. She had considered the bunks, but she knew how often those couples would end up there doing extracurricular activities. She had shoved a rack in front of the door, so if anyone tried to enter, as they struggled to open it, she would have time to wipe her eyes and maybe hide.

But by now Isobel Stevens should have known she didn't have any luck left. The knob turned, something she didn't notice as so many thoughts were running through her head. She did however hear the door hitting the rack of supplies. She looked up and froze for a second. She thought she would have had time to turn around and wipe her eyes, but whomever had opened the door obviously was not a patient person.

The person rammed the door and the rack of supplies was pushed away in a second. All to fast for Izzie to not have to confront anyone.

Izzie turned around as the person stepped in.

"What the hell...Dr. Stevens?" came the voice.

She exhaled. He wasn't the first person she wanted to confront at the moment, but at this point he wasn't the last, because at least he had nothing to do with the whole affair. She wiped her eyes and turned around slowly.

"Dr. Sloan," she responded, not meeting his eyes.

"Would you care to tell me why this thing was blocking the door?" He waved at the rack and stared intently at her.

She gulped. "I uh...Just needed to be alone for a second. Second's done now, so I better get going." She walked to the door but he moved to block it.

"Is everything alright Dr. Stevens?" He actually sounded concern, but she paid no attention to it. She didn't know him well enough to know when he was being sincere or just being an ass.

"Perfect," she said and brought her eyes to his for a second, to look confident. "Now would you please move. I hate working the pits."

"Tell you what. You tell me why you're locked in a supply closet, crying and I let you scrub in on a surgery."

She was caught off guard. She met his curious gaze and studied his face. "Why the sudden curiosity Sloan?"

"I hate distracted interns. They do even more stupid things. Like bring me vanilla lattees. So as my intern, I intend for your mind to be clear. So get whatever the hell is on your chest off, and if that means taking your shirt off as well, then so be it. Who am I to stand in your way?"

"You realize you're standing in my way right now. And I can have you written up for that shirt comment."

He flashed his McSteamy smiled and said," stop skirting around the issue Stevens, or you'll be stuck in this supply closet with me for the rest of the day. Not that I would mind." He winked and she sighed.

"Fine," she said. She remained quiet though.

He rolled his eyes. "Come on Stevens."

"Don't rush me!" she snapped at him.

He put his arms up. "Alright, alright. Geez."

She rolled her eyes and paced whilst he tapped his foot and his watch.

"Okay," she finally said," but whatever I tell you does not leave this room."

He nodded.

"And you can't interrupt me!"

He nodded again.

"Okay?!"

"Yeah, yea," he said exasperated.

"I slept with George," she said, more to the wall than to Sloan.

She turned to him to watch his reaction. He furrowed his brows and looked like he wanted to talk.

"Yes, my best friend George. As in 'my best friend who is married with Dr. Torres' George. Last night," she said.

He crossed his arms and looked down to floor as he contemplated her situation.

"And we haven't spoken, and Callie just dogged me, and I've completely lost everything by sleeping with him. Even Meredith couldn't look at me. Meredith of all people!" She sighed and leaned against the wall. "I am the worst friend in the world," she muttered as she sunk down onto the floor.

"No, that would be me," Mark said.

She snapped her eyes to him. "I told you not to interrupt me."

"Well, aren't you done?"

She blinked back tears as she crossed her arms. "Yes," she mumbled.

"Well then, I repeat: I am be worst friend in the world."

Izzie gulped as she turned her head slightly, so she was looking at the wall to the right of her.

"Right, because you betrayed two friends." She nodded, trying to make sense of his statement.

"That and I didn't admit that I did something wrong."

She nodded as she wiped at the tears threatening to come out.

"What, you thought you did something right?"

He rolled his eyes and stepped away from the door. He took a seat next to Izzie, which only irritated her further. She was now facing him, so she turned her head around to face the door, which was not blocked anymore.

"Don't even think about it Stevens. We're not done here," he said, his head faced towards the door as well.

She rolled her eyes and brought her knees up to her chin. She began fiddling her hands as the room was overcome with silence.

"I knew it wasn't right, but I figured it wasn't wrong because I loved her. And I thought she loved me."

"Well, then maybe I'm the worst friend, because neither me nor George are in love. At least you loved Dr. Montgomery."

He laughed bitterly. "Yeah, but I cheated on her. More than once."

She smiled tightly. "Yeah, you did."

"But I get some pity points. She aborted our child. Only wanted a kid if it was Derek's"

Izzie turned to face him, to see if he was being serious. He was being serious; on his face were visible wounds. He could feel her gaze on him so he turned to face her.

"So? Whose court is the ball in now?" he said as he masked his emotions again.

"I'm sorry Dr. Sloan, I just–we shouldn't be having this conversation." She began to stand but he pulled her back down.

"We're going to finish this Stevens."

She nodded. "Okay, well um I slept with George for all the wrong reasons."

"Like?" he asked as he turned back to face the wall.

"Like envy. Like loneliness, like not really wanting him. And I don't know. I love him, but not like that. Never like that. He's George," she shrugged as she stared down at her hands.

"Well, I won't fight you there. Those are all the wrong reasons," he laughed

She laughed as well. She stopped quickly though, ashamed at laughing at something like that.

"You did wrong Stevens, but you can't punish yourself more so than necessary. Don't excuse yourself."

"I'm not punishing myself," she said bitterly.

"Then why won't you let yourself laugh?"

She rolled her eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about Sloan."

"I'm talking about stabbing people in the back. I know what it's like, I should know. I've done it twice. And I dealt with it two ways. I've gone off and pretended like nothing was wrong, and I've also walked about guiltily, watching my every step. And I've learned neither way is good."

"Then what do you suggest Dr. Sloan? Because obviously you're an expert."

"First, stop blaming and snapping at everyone. One, it's rude, and two, you're just deflecting your guilt on other people. Then just accept what you've done. You can't go back, but don't do what I did; don't you repeat your mistakes–learn from then. Then all you can do is forgive yourself and ask for forgiveness. You can't turn back time, so you just have to make amends with it."

She was surprised, with their entire conversation as a whole, but with that last part especially. He was right, something she never expected from him. And she had never thought Mark Sloan could be sincere. She turned to him.

"Thank you Dr. Sloan," and she did her best to offer him a smile.

He nodded and pushed himself off the floor. He dusted himself off and offered her a hand. She took it and he pulled her up quickly. She knew he was muscular, but his strength still surprised him. She dusted herself off as he opened the door.

As he stepped out he said," And Dr. Stevens?"

"Yeah?" she answered, turning to him.

"Don't run and hide. It's pathetic. Now hurry up. We've got a surgery and Karev's at the nurses station, where he can easily spot me, and I don't want to deal with his ass-kissing. Oh, and welcome to the Dirty Mistresses Club," he winked and smiled as she rolled her eyes.

She cracked a smile after he turned his back. It wasn't a prestigious club, but having something in common with Mark Sloan ( which an hour ago she would have found revolting) was sure to have its perks. It meant she wasn't the only person in the running to be the worst possible friend.

Still thinking on this, she sped up and followed Sloan, slamming the door behind her, leaving the room in which she was hiding behind her.

**Want more? Then Please Review...**


	2. Loose Rap

Wow...**thanks for all the reviews**! They are truly appreciated. And sorry for the wait, but I read a spoiler that bummed me out, and my sis was hogging the computer, but I finally got this update for you. So just R&R. I write, you review...

"Loose Rap"

She pulled the tie from her hair, letting her curls fall as they may, along with the stress of her day. She slipped her flats on and closed her locker. Exhaling softly, she closed her eyes and slightly tapped her fingers on her thighs. For a second, there was nothing. Her mind went blank, her troubles were forgotten, and there was a sense of calm. Until a locker was slammed, and a foot tapped impatiently.

Her calm was zapped, her eyes opened abruptly, and there was a something.

"You slept with George," came the accusatory voice. Only Meredith could be so intrusive and self-righteous.

"Yeah," Izzie breathed, her back to Meredith. She gulped as both hesitated to speak. Izzie turned her body to Meredith, meeting her inquisitive gaze. "So did you."

"He wasn't married." Her arms were crossed, her weight shifted on her left leg, with a glare so threatening, if Izzie hadn't received worst, she might have broken right there.

"Derek was married," she raised her head higher, and she straightened her back. Meredith was in no right to judge her.

"I didn't know," she bit back. And Izzie remained quiet so that it could click with Meredith.

"Oh, you meant that time...," she sighed,"at the prom."

Izzie didn't answer her, she just kept her eyes locked on Meredith as she shuffled and avoided Izzie's eyes.

"Well that–that's different. He didn't want to be with Addison," and she gained back her bravado," He wanted me, and I wanted him. We were supposed to be together." And she nodded her head, and locked eyes again with Izzie, as though her point was done and proven.

"That doesn't make it right," Izzie stated, not making it a question.

"Do you even see what you did was wrong, Izzie?!" Meredith came back to her.

"Do you?!"

"This isn't about me!"

"No, it isn't!" she paused as they gathered their thoughts. "This is about me and George. If you're not going to help Mer, them don't judge me, or at least don't put all the blame on me. Don't take sides Mer. Both George and I had a part in this, so don't come and scold me if you're not going to use your common sense."

Meredith stood stunned. She knew Izzie was a fighter, but she was always a sensitive, feeling human first. One that would carry burdens and try to right everyone's wrongs, but this time she was letting both party carry burdens. And Meredith should have been proud, were it not for the fact that she was too stubborn to realize George wasn't a victim.

So she kept with her idea, and walked out of the locker room, leaving Izzie with new thoughts, with new internal conflicts. But she knew she was in her own right to reprimand her, because for Meredith to soothe George whilst chastising her, despite the fact they it take two to tango, was straight illogical.

Hearing Meredith's stepping out of the locker room she exhaled and squeezed her eyes shut. She placed a hand on her stomach and looked up momentarily to the ceiling, gathering herself. Feeling prepared to go home, she grabbed her bag and stood up.

Izzie walked slowly, taking her time, hoping Meredith would stay at Derek's that day, hoping Alex would not question her. He after all could not reproach her, just as Meredith shouldn't have.

You could say she was walking like a mindless robot, an empty vessel completely unaware of her surroundings. Yet as she neared the nurses station, a certain conversation caught her ear. Maybe it was the fact that two people were talking extremely loud, or that the two people conversing sounded like attendings, but it was probably that it sounded like two attendings stuck in their college-party days.

Whatever it was, she felt compelled to stop and "accidently overhear" this conversation. She hid around the corner as she peeked at those conversing. She saw a very irritated Addison Montgomery speaking to a frustrating-looking Mark Sloan. Well, maybe she was frustrated and he was irritated, but either way neither was enjoying...whatever was going on.

She couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, but the one thing she heard perfectly clear was Mark Sloan booming "I haven't had sex in 8 days!"

Izzie practically burst out in laughter as she saw how Mark Sloan acted like he was going to die. She covered her mouth in case anything did come out and studied Addison's face for her reaction. She simply rolled her eyes, smirked, and mumbled something. Probably some sarcastic remark.

He must have retorted something awful, because the next thing she knew, Dr. Montgomery had stepped away from Mark and started walking her way. Izzie glanced around, looking for a hiding spot, but there was none. So she walked back a few steps and then pretended to have just gotten to the hallway. Addison turned the corner and spotted Izzie. She stopped in her steps and raised her eyebrows.

"Dr. Stevens," she said.

"Dr. Montgomery," she replied nervously. Addison then continued to walk, but turned on her heel suddenly and called to her.

"Stevens?"

"Yeah?" she turned around nervously.

"You didn't hear...anything. Did you?" Addison asked, sweeping her hair to the side.

"Uh, concerning what?" she feigned ignorance.

"Nothing. Never mind." and she turned on her heel and left Izzie to finally let out the breath she had been holding.

Seeing Addison turn the corner, Izzie finally turned the corner to find Dr. Sloan scribbling in some charts, mumbling to himself. Hoping to evade him, she tried tiptoeing and not breathing. He seemed to have keen hearing though.

"Dr. Stevens," he called.

'Dammit' she thought. She turned to him, but his back was to her. She furrowed her brows.

"How...?" she wondered aloud.

"It's called superhearing Stevens," he said as he turned to her. He looked her up and down and flashed her a smirk.

She rolled her eyes and said," You need something Dr. Sloan."

"Actually, I do. Desperately," he said as he bit his lip.

Izzie sighed and rolled her eyes again. Finding it useless to speak to him, she turned around and took a step when he spoke.

"You doing something tonight Dr. Stevens?"

She didn't turn around. "Goodnight Dr. Sloan," she simply said and waved. She took another step but he stopped her again.

"Oh come on Stevens. Why don't we go out and paint the town. I hardly doubt you're looking forward to heading home anyway."

And unfortunately, he was right, which prompted her to turn around to face him. She shifted her weight and placed a hand on her hip. He watched her movements, cracked his head, and smirked knowing he had caught her full attention.

"What exactly are you planning Sloan?" she clicked her tongue, thinking he had ulterior motives. The man did want sex.

"Well, you need to be officially initiated into the Dirty Mistresses Club, and as the founding member, it is my duty to take care of all inductions."

She crossed her arms, not believing a single word of his.

"Ah give it up Stevens," he rolled his eyes, impatient to her hesitancy. "I'm going to change. Why don't we _meet up_ at Joe's? That way your friends won't think any less of you."

He didn't give her a chance to respond. He gave her a wink and headed off to change, leaving her to wonder if she had or hadn't accepted.

**Please Review...**

_Coming up: Izzie begins to wonder what that conversation was all about and once she finds out, she will blurt it out to the wrong person (well, I think it's the right person for a certain attending), and oh what trouble that will cause...Don't worry, this is McStizzie-centric, so any other couple would just be mentioned. Now please review to keep my brain from freezing up!_

A/N: Yeah, this is kind of a filler, but this needs to be set up correctly--you can't rush true love (yeah they're not real, but we can dream). Now, I will impatiently wait to for tonight's Grey's to watch McSteamy jumping that rope...!


	3. Ordinary People

Ch. 3...R&R, and **ENJOY!!!**

"Ordinary People"

She drummed her fingers on the wheel, her eyes focused on the building in front of her. People walking in and out. Some going in happy, walking out deflated. Some walking in distressed, going out overly joyous. That's what alcohol did to you–it turned you upside down, made you forget your problems and morals. But alcohol could not be blamed, because no one forced it down your throat. You either decide to be the designated driver, or be the drunken mess. It wasn't forced down a person's throat. It was a choice.

Izzie inhaled sharply, and as she blinked, the previous night's events flashed before her eyes. Suddenly the tears were there again, so she wiped at them harshly, afraid that once she began to cry, she wouldn't be able to cease to cry.

A knock on the window shook her and she turned from the view of the Green Emerald Bar to that of her window. There stood Dr. Sloan, a smirk on his face. She rolled her eyes, and her window slightly.

"What?" she said bitterly.

"What are you doing in your car Stevens?" he answered with a question.

She rolled her eyes again and turned her head back to face the bar. "Alcohol is my enemy," she answered.

He placed his arms either side of her door and leaned in to the window. "Then that poses a problem, seeing as how I like to get my members wasted to the point they forget the world around them."

She exhaled, not sure why she had come so near to bar to begin with. Not sure why she had listened to Sloan in the first place.

"I'd rather not be a member," she said coldly.

He pushed himself off the car and sighed. He scratched his head and looked from the bar to Izzie. Alcohol wasn't his friend either, and neither were bars for the time being. They usually had hot, lonely, desperate, drunk women that he could land in bed. But he felt he had willpower, and right now there was an initiation to be made.

He looked back to the car and noticed the doors weren't locked. Izzie's focus on another planet, he smirked and made his way around the car. Izzie noticed the quiet that had overtaken her surroundings and looked to her left, but he had gone. She sighed in relief before she caught sight of something to her right. She turned sharply and saw Mark reaching for the handle. She moved to lock the doors, but he moved quicker, and he managed to open the door before she could lock it.

He sat down and slammed the door closed. He turned to face her and grinned. She groaned in frustration and banged her head on the wheel.

"You're not locked in here Stevens," he said as she kept her forehead on the wheel. "You can leave the car to get away from me, but that would mean a trip to the bar."

She raised her head slowly and turned to him. She glared, her nails digging into the wheel, her breaths short and impatient.

He glared back, whilst crossing his arms, and he cocked an eyebrow, waiting for her to make her decision. She took the key from the ignition, grunted and opened the door. He grinned and waited for her to leave the car completely. She slammed the door shut and began walking towards the bar. When he saw she was far enough so she couldn't run back and leave, he jumped out of the car and ran to catch up with her.

She would have caught a taxi, but he would have stopped her. She could wait for him to catch up with her, then race to her car, but he was probably a faster runner than she. She thought up a dozen other ways she could ditch him, but it was inevitable for him to beat her to the punch. He seemed to have a knack for thinking two steps ahead of everyone else, and this she had quickly realized. So she let him catch up to her, but she didn't speak to him, and he seemed to get the message; he just glanced at her and let them walk in silence.

He opened the door to the bar and let her go in first. He followed quietly behind her and waited for her to be seated until he himself sat down. They sat at the bar, and after spotting them, Joe went over to them.

"How are you two doing this night?" he asked politely.

Izzie propped her elbows up on the bar and rested her head in her hands. She looked off to the wall stacked with alcohol with her, obviously not in the mood for any talking.

Joe scrunched up his eyebrows seeing Izzie's state. Mark spoke up to deflect the attention away from her.

"We've had worse nights. Get us a couple of shots, Joe."

Joe nodded and headed off to get the tequila.

"I prefer whiskey," she said after Joe left," and we are not here together."

He turned his seat to speak to her. "In this situation, shots of tequila are better. Know why Stevens?"

She lifted her head a little and turned to him. "No, but I'm so anxious to hear why," she said sarcastically.

He got her tone, but decided to explain anyway. "You see, when tequila goes down, it burns you. It's a tantalizing sensation–some even shiver. Then comes the lime. It's sour, bitter even. And what we did...well, it's a heat of the moment thing. It feels good, even though we may not know what's going on. But in the end, it's literally bitter."

And his explanation, as it may have been, made sense. So when Joe placed the shots and limes on front of them, Izzie took her and swallowed it quickly. And the tequila burned her throat, and the lime made her face contort with its bitter taste.

He on the other hand left his untouched. He had looked at her actions, wondering if he had done good in encouraging her to drink the poisoning substance. He knew he probably wasn't, but she wouldn't talk, so maybe this was the next best thing.

She had noticed her studying her and so she turned to him.

"You going to drink that?" she asked referring to his shot.

He nodded a no and she grabbed it, taking it one swallow again. Then the lime.

She turned to him again, the alcohol not yet having its effect, but already feeling a little less inhibited.

"What were you and Dr. Montgomery talking about." It wasn't a question but rather a demand for him to tell her.

He smirked, having had a feeling she had been listening in when she came into the nurses station.

"The usual," he answered as he waved Joe back over. He left them a couple of more shots and Izzie spoke again.

"The usual?"

He shrugged. "You know. Things exes argue about."

She rolled her eyes. If he thought that he could get away with an answer that vague he must not be so sharp. "You seriously think I'm going to buy that?"

"How specific do you want me to be Stevens?" he said as she swallowed another shot.

"As specific as whining 'I haven't had sex in 8 days," and she grinned knowing she had him trapped.

He chuckled and shook his head. "You sure are nosey Stevens."

She just grinned and watched him, waiting for an explanation.

He glanced back up at her and noticed how already she seemed more comfortable with her settings.

"Well, Addison and I were discussing a certain situation of ours, and my not having sex for a week was an important point."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed another shot. "'A certain situation'? What kind of explanation is that?"

He grinned. This girl didn't fall for bullshit. "I'm going to prove something to her," he said.

"What? That you can last a week without sex?" she said half-joking.

"More like 60 days," he said.

She spit out the tequila that she had just taken and began to laugh. "No, seriously," she said wiping at her mouth.

"I'm serious," he said as he turned his face to the counter. He glanced up to the stacks of alcohol and then back to her.

"Seriously?" she asked, still in disbelief.

"Seriously," he answered, and his face stayed true to his answer. "We go 60 days without sex and we give a real relationship a try."

"_We_?"

"Yeah–the pact goes for Addison as well, although her I'm not so worried about."

"Why not?" she asked curious.

"Addison isn't the type that sleeps around. Me on the other hand..." he trailed off.

"Yeah," Izzie laughed," you on the other hand..." She glanced at him and saw that he wasn't exactly amused.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that you can't keep your end of the pact, it's just–"

He then began to laugh. "Oh lighten up Stevens. The truth doesn't affect me."

She smiled tightly and laughed with him, but something told her that truth could affect him. She sighed and turned back to the counter, where a couple more shots had appeared. She took another, and another, each burning less, and each being more tasteless than the last.

He felt he needed to stop her, but she would swat his hand away. So instead he told Joe to stop bringing them, at which Stevens had begun to whine, but her tantrums didn't bug him. She didn't fight long anyway, as she started to zone out instead. He didn't where she lived, so he glanced around, hoping one of her friends was around. He was in luck, as off in the corner he spotted Alex throwing darts with some girl trying to chat him up.

"Karev!" he screamed across the room. He didn't care much about stared anyway. Alex groaned as he heard the voice screaming at him. He turned around, but with no intention of answering him, much less going to him. Until he spotted Izzie's curls in a loose bun, and her figure slumped over the counter. Without a question, he began heading over to her.

Mark, seeing Alex going over to her, turned back around and left some bills on the counter. He stood up and leaned over to izzie.

"Alright Dr. Stevens. One of your fellow interns is going to take you home."

She lifted her head at his voice and whined. "But they don't like me."

He smirked. "Yeah, well that's not my problem."

"But we're a team now," she whined," us Dirty Mistresses have to stick together."

He chuckled and lifted an arm onto his shoulder. "Now you want to be a member," he grunted as he helped her up, but she just stumbled into his frame. He fell back a step and rolled his eyes. "I think you had a little too much to drink."

"I think you smell good McSteamy," came her muffled response.

"McSteamy, huh?" Mark grinned.

"Izzie?" came Alex's voice.

Izzie lifted her head off of Mark's chest. She pushed herself off and turned around quickly, only to fall back again. She giggled and Alex took her from Mark's arms.

"It's Alex!" she exclaimed to Mark, "Alex likes me."

"Does he?" Mark rolled his eyes.

Alex looked from Mark to Izzie, wondering why Mark was looking after her. "Dude, what'd you do to her?"

Mark rolled his eyes. "She had a few too many drinks, that's all."

"I drank all of McSteamy's limes, and sucked all the shots," came her slurred words.

"I'm going to take you home Iz," Alex said, his voice full of concern.

"I don't belong there," her mood changed again.

"Try not to fight her," Mark told Alex," and be careful with her. Last time she got drunk she ended up in the least prestigious club on the planet."

Alex furrowed his brows, confused as to what he was referring to.

"I slept with George," Izzie whispered, her eyes shut, and her body limped. Alex's eyes widened and Meredith's attitude suddenly made sense. He pushed that aside for now though. He nodded to Mark and lifted Izzie, holding her frame in his arms. He turned around and walked out of the bar.

Mark sighed and ran his head through his hair. This had been a strange night to say the least. He hadn't taken a single drink, and not once did he check out a single female. Maybe bars weren't so bad after all, but then again look what one had done to the usually level-headed Dr. Stevens. Well, maybe not so level-headed; she had a tendency to become emotionally concerned for patients, just like Addison. Addison, the woman for whom all this he was doing. But he felt that he wasn't doing this so much for her, but more so for his sake. To prove to himself that he wasn't some man whore, that he did have self-control, that he was capable of being monogamous.

He walked in strides to the doors and pushed them open effortlessly. The night was clear, but the night was still cold. He blew some air and zipped his jacket up. He glanced up to the sky momentarily, and started to his car, glad to have the left the bar in the same state he had entered it–sober and sex-free.

**Please Review...**

**Thanks for the reviews!**


	4. Lying From You

_Spring Break! Yea! Finally, a little spare time for fanfiction! (You do know what that means, right?)_

Sorry for the wait! So just** ENJOY!!!**

"Lying From You"

"Izzie?"

She grunted and turned her head away from him.

"Iz, Come on. We're home."

She didn't answer.

"Damn drunken mess," Alex muttered under his breath.

He opened his door and walked over to Izzie's, and nudged her, only to receive another grunt. Knowing he would have to carry her inside, he ran to the door, unlocked it, and left it wide open. He went back to Izzie, who was seemingly asleep. So he took her arm and let it fall over hi shoulder. Then he pulled her head outside the door. He took her legs in his arms and swung her outside. He slammed her door shut and took her inside.

He walked through the living room, careful to not have her hit herself on some inanimate object. By now he wasn't sure if she was asleep–maybe she just muttered in her sleep. But drunk people had a tendency to mutter and drift in and out of consciousness.

He turned to the hallway where all their rooms met when Meredith popped her head out.

"Hey Alex." She then drew her gaze down to the person he was carrying.

"Izzie?"

"I think she's asleep," Alex whispered.

"No I'm not," Izzie said, although her eyes were still closed.

Meredith crossed her arms, realizing Izzie was drunk. "Are we having a repeat of last night?"

Alex glared at her while Izzie let out a groan, along with a whimper.

"You shouldn't judge her," Alex told her.

Meredith shrugged, and was about ready to protest when Derek grabbed her by the waist and pulled her inside, and the door flew shut.

Alex rolled his eyes and headed to Izzie's room. He struggled to open it, seeing as how he was carrying someone. He managed to open it and he moved to set her on the bed. She slipped out of his arms and remained still for a moment. He began to turn around when she spoke.

"Thanks Alex," she whispered, a slight smile on her face.

He turned back to her and shrugged. "No prob. Figured it was better than leaving you with Sloan."

Her eyes now half-shut, she giggled. "Yeah, who knows what he'll do in his state."

He furrowed his brows, wondering just how drunk she really was.

"He didn't seem drunk, but okay..." he said. He walked over to her bed and looked down at her. She looked absolutely silly with her curls dancing on her face, her eyes dilated, and the half-grin, half-grim smile on her mouth.

She snorted. "No evil spawn. Then Sloan's celibate ass wouldn't be celibate."

He thought about dismissing it. She did seem to have had a lot to drink, and she was being incoherent. But how could even the craziest person put the name 'Sloan' and the word 'celibate' in the same sentence?

"What are you talking about Izzie?"

"...he'd grab the first girl and do her right there. You should have heard him talking to...to, what's her face..." she laughed as she wrapped her sheets around her. Her words then came muffled as she buried her head in the pillows.

"Iz–Izzie." He shook her shoulder, which she shrugged off. She lifted her head. "What?"

"Who was he talking to?"

She squinted and then let her head fall back onto the pillows. "Satan," and she laughed again. "One week and he's going crazy. Do we have more pillows? Oh wait, I threw them away..." she chuckled. "They were contaminated," she whispered and then she giggled again.

Alex rolled his eyes. She sure wasn't making sense. Who was Sata–he then remembered. They had referred to Addison as Satan a couple of times when she first arrived, and had hence called him Evil Spawn.

"What does Addison have to do with this?" He kneeled down to her level, but she appeared to have drifted off again. "Iz?" and he shook her slightly again.

"The pact," she mumbled.

"Pact?"

She yawned. "Celibate 60 days, and they live happily ever after..."

He furrowed his brows again, trying to put everything together. It didn't quite fit in his head, but her words were enough. Addison and Mark had a 60 day pact that would, if completed, result in them being together. Something that really didn't fit well with Alex.

**

* * *

**

Her head buried in the palms of her hands, she ran last night's events through her head again, making sure everything fit between the time frame. Making sure she hadn't done something incredibly stupid again. So she had to ascertain herself. Of course Sloan had kept trying to throw her off, saying she had shamelessly tried to get him in the sack various times throughout the night. 'Yea, like I would ever, in my most irrational state, want a night with Mark Sloan' her rolling of her eyes communicated.

But at least he talked to her. Sure, Alex had helped her that morning, offering her the hangover cure and mints to boost. But he had seemed preoccupied, maybe even distant, but he wasn't cold towards her so it must have been something else. Did they...No, Alex wouldn't have taken advantage of her, well probably anyway. And she was fully dressed that morning. As a matter of fact, she remembered him taking her to her room...setting her down...and then she fell asleep?

Something was little off. Did she immediately fall asleep? She had been told that she was known to mumble when drunk, giggle and ramble too. Had she told him something? So what if she had? She had nothing to hide. He knew about her night with George, and there was nothing worse than that. She had no secrets or gossip to spill...

"Wake up Stevens. Do you plan on brooding all afternoon?" came the stern voice of Dr. Sloan.

She lifted her head and took note of her surroundings. In front o f her was a tray, with unrecognizable food left untouched, and several conversations occurring around her.

"I was not brooding," she retorted.

"Someone's having a bad day," Mark stated the obvious.

"No worse than yesterday," she mumbled.

"Yes, well the days get easier, but never much better," he said as he sat down. She glanced at him, wondering just how often he had bouts of honesty and sincerity. "Do you really eat that crap Steven?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. She pushed the tray away from her and leaned back into her chair. "Sometimes," she shrugged, "when I'm with my friends and we're talking." She pulled at a string of hair whilst she paused. "When we're too busy gossiping to notice the taste of the food." She smiled briefly and zoned out momentarily.

"You interns really _are_ sad," Mark commented.

"Oh, at least I have friends," she bit back.

"I don't think you're too far behind me in that aspect Stevens."

She glared at him, and he didn't take note of how he unsettled her until she swiftly stood and practically kicked her chair. He turned to see her marching off.

"Crap," he muttered, chastising himself as he stood. He took a moment to tell himself what did it matter if he upset her. 'Why should I care' he thought. 'Because you're human moran' immediately came the response to his thought. With that he headed off into the direction she had gone, already with an idea of where she had headed, to catch up with her.

**Please Review...**

A/N: So Alex knows...how will that go down? And Mark is hurrying to "catch up" with Izzie. How will that confrontation go down? Well review and tell me what you think! I might just swagger-jack you though...but just to appease of course!

As a warning however, Ima try to take McStizzie nice and slow this time because the idea of Mark lasting in this pact quite a while is just plain funny. But there's only 51 days left, and my chaps usually skip days, on occasion a week or two, so don't worry: you'll get your McStizzie action in...ah, you'll find out soon enough!


	5. Life for Rent

**Thanks for the reviews!**

_I'm proud of this chapter. So remember to review. This time the focus is more on Mark's thoughts rather than Izzie's, so **ENJOY!!!**_

"Life For Rent'"

He wasn't an individual devoid of feelings, and he wasn't an egotistical maniac.

There wasn't an abnormal childhood that shaped his brutal outlook on life.

A fixation (A.K.A. addiction) on the anatomy of women couldn't be blamed either.

Mark Sloan was what he was: honest in his opinions, held in high regard (sexually) by the women, and talented in the art of manipulation. And the "art" of manipulation had taught him how to use all powers to his advantage. It all led him to the realization that leverage meant the sparing of feelings.

He of course was not stupid. He knew that to be "spared" of feelings also meant never really feeling. Period. It was like novocaine. Something to numb yourself with. But one thing a few select people knew about Mark Sloan was that he was a considerate being. He could comment and be an ass to people, but when it came to real matters–not those high school matters that meant the end of the world to so many grown people–life was anything but a game of leverage.

The first time around, he cheated on Addison to tell himself he was never going to good enough for her. The second time around he just wanted it. So the third time, he intended to get caught. He knew it would send her running. Her running meant saving herself from further pain. That and he needed her to be gone because for a while he was disgusted at her for killing their child.

But gradually disgust subsided, and pain replaced it, along with a feeling of missing a part of him. So he re-entered her life, which was in shambles, although she refused to recognize it. She needed to believe Derek would love her and they would be the epitome of the perfect couple again. But once reality hit her, she was with him again.

But again, Mark Sloan was not stupid, least of all naive. He was a replacement, but he thought they could be in love again. Maybe this time, she'd give all of herself. Yeah, he found it difficult to go so long without sex, but he wasn't a sex addict. Well, if it meant having Addison he wouldn't be one.

Or so he would tell himself when he saw his reflection in her eyes. That was it though. He searched for his reflection in her eyes. Not the reflection of her very soul. It was something he could brush off though. Because he was giving this deserving woman hope.

_False hope._

The two words reverberated in his mind. But again, he could brush it off. Because ultimately he knew why he made the high-school like pact. Like most humans, he was selfish, but because he was brutally honest (unlike most humans), and he knew his true motives, it felt okay.

But placing this young woman, whose hope was probably forgiveness from her friends, underneath a scorching light was not okay.

He had told her she had to forgive herself. It was the only thing he could do. He couldn't force it out of her, it was something she had to do herself. But she would only do it if it meant having her friends back. And what had he done? Maybe not diminish those hopes, because he was nothing to her. He had been only a background character in her life who had offered her a piece of advice. He was, as of now, a one-dimensional figure that did their part of the story then disappear into an occasional, maybe honorable, mention.

But he had complicated his purpose by very well telling her that no matter what, she would not have the luxury of friends again. Yeah–she'd get to the point where friends would be a luxury, which he (better than anyone) knew, was the point of depression that made life unlivable.

So he was a moron, but one who was not inconsiderate to individuals around him. He was willing to be the character with life-changing advice again if it meant going back to his one-dimensional story line. Life seemed easier that way. Maybe not simpler, but at least it'd be easier.

Sure enough, she was in the same pathetic space he had found her the previous day. _Interns_ he thought with a sigh.

He knocked this time, and after three seconds without her answering he entered to receive a cold glare from the young woman.

He opened his mouth to speak but she beat him to the punch.

"You and I. We're not the same." Her arms were crossed, her eyes glistening with withheld tears, and her stance unsure.

"Never said we were." He crossed his arms, but unlike her, his stance was sure.

"Just because I'm part of your ill-ridden Dirty Mistresses Club doesn't make me like you. I–I have friends that love me." She had uncrossed her arms, and pointed to herself, but she wasn't trying to convince him.

"I did too," came his short answer.

She scoffed, hating that he had again compared her to him. Or rather compared himself to her."You know Sloan, you've got some nerve coming after me."

"Well," he flexed his shoulders," I've got a hero complex." He smirked. "See a damsel in distress, I've gotta get to rescuing."

She rolled her eyes.

"I can save myself," she said.

"I'll keep that in mind next time."

"Next time?"

"Women have a tendency to overreact," he shrugged.

"And you have a tendency to make yourself look like an ass."

"What the hell is your problem Stevens?"

"It's not my problem Sloan. It's yours. You know one thing, of many, that pisses me off about you?"

He shrugged. Partly because he could care less about one more person disliking him. Partly because he did want to know what she disliked about him.

"No, but why don't you tell me," he said as indifferently as he could.

"In the cafeteria, you strolled in, all smug and arrogant. You sit your arrogant ass down uninvited, which I can ignore. But you tell me something that–that makes sense, something I can get. But then, just like yesterday, you follow it with some stupid remark!"

"What, you can't take a joke," he shrugged again.

"What is your damage?!" she screamed. She was irritated at his apparent disregard to anyone else's thoughts.

"What's yours?!" he fought back.

"I lost my best friend!" she screamed.

"I did too!" He was furious. He didn't want his miserable life to parallel anyone's, but if it did, it was useless to deny it. And Izzie's life was paralleling his, and for some unknown reason he wanted to prevent any further similarities to accumulate.

"But how can it happen to me?" she finally drew back. She placed her hand over her chest and looked down to the floor. She then drew her eyes back up to his.

"I'm not like you."

"The point isn't that you are or aren't like me. This isn't about me," he said, because although they had similarities, ultimately their stories, those things that led them to these points in their lives, were anything but similiar.

"Then what the hell is it about!"

"I don't know that Stevens, but I do know that anytime you see a problem, or hear a little opinion, you run off an hide 'till the tide washes everything over!"

"What makes you think that Sloan?!"

"You've locked yourself in here two times in the past day–that's with my knowing. You stayed in your car at the bar last night, glaring at it like that was the reason you ended up in bed with your friend. You tried sneaking past me last night so you wouldn't have to deal with me. And you didn't want to go home last night, afraid of dealing with your friends!"

Her eyes were downcast again. "And I quit the night Denny died...Then I locked myself in a bathroom, and I just lied on the floor." She was silent for a second, before her eyes returned to his. "But I had Meredith to hold my hand. And George's."

"You drilled a guy's head all by yourself," he offered.

She smiled momentarily. "I did that too."

Then it seemed like she had forgotten like he was there. She crossed her arms, and stared down at the floor.

He decided to leave, but she didn't forget he was there.

"But I believed Denny was there, holding my hand. And I knew I had friends who believed in me. And I don't know that anymore." And the tears that had subsided from her now came in a rush. She choked and her body was limp. This time not from the effects of alcohol, but rather the affects of the truth.

Mark stood still, this situation an awkward one. He had a few with Addison. Two of those times she had pushed him away, and the only reason she allowed him the third time was because she was too weak to fight him off. But in any case he knew what the right thing to do was. And so he knew all he could do, or try do for this crying individual now, was to hold her.

His steps were short and measured, quiet and patient. She had buried her hands in her face, so she was unaware that he was so close. She became unaware of her surroundings. So when he wrapped one arm around her waist, and he used his other hand to rub her back to soothe her, all she knew was that she was being comforted.

That someone cared enough to take her in their arms, let her bury her face in the nook of their shoulder blade, let her wrap her arms around their neck, and let her stain their attire with her tears.

And Mark, strangely enough, found relief in her not fighting him.

**Please Review...**

Coming up...The words exchanged will most definitely not be forgotten. The existance of the 60-day pact brews trouble. All causing internal conflicts to grow and change.


	6. I'm Gonna Be Alright

"I'm Gonna Be Alright"

His shoulders had been tense at first, but when she had immediately relaxed herself into his arms, he himself was relaxed. It didn't take away from the fact that this was in fact awkward. He hardly knew this woman in his arms, and their first meetings consisted of her berating him. Probably for good reason as he had a knack for hitting on any and every woman, but surprisingly she fought back, something which few interns had the balls to do. _Well, she doesn't have balls..._ he thought.

He felt that too much time was passing, so he cleared his throat in hopes of her coming to. She heard the clearing of the throat and she rolled her eyes at remembering that it was Mark Sloan in this room with her. That it was Mark Sloan holding her. Getting the message, she slowly backed away from his arms.

Her hands left his neck and she placed them on his arms. He, now with his arms gently on her waist, looked at her with a suspicious look as she was now smiling at him.

"What?" he said sternly.

"Thank you," she said. And with that she let go of him completely.

"Don't mention it," he muttered.

She nodded.

"Alright, so now that this is all cleared up, I'm going on my way," he said.

Izzie, having been wiping at the residue on her eyes, replied,"Yeah. I'll be shortly...Not that you were asking, I just..."

"That's fine Stevens. Just don't start rambling," he waved her off. But before he turned on his heel, he turned to her, remembering something.

"Stevens?"

"Yeah?" she raised her eyes to his.

"Remember what I told you last night?" he crossed his arms, examining her reaction.

She shrugged. "Like what?"

"Like something about Addison and me...A pact, maybe?"

"Oh," she said. "Oh...right," she giggled. "Yeah I remember that."

"Yeah?"

"Yup," she nodded.

"You didn't tell anyone, did you?"

She went to say a yes, but she paused for some reason.

"Stevens?"

"I—I don't think I did…" she began to think about last night. She had only interacted with Sloan and—and Alex.

"Shit," she said.

"Who did you tell?" he said, his tone obviously angry.

She smiled nervously. "Um, I may have accidentally told Alex."

Mark closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He ran a hand through his hair and said," fix it."

"I can't take back time."

"Shut him up or make something up, but fix it!" he yelled.

"Geez, someone needs anger management classes," she muttered.

"Stevens, I am this close to–"

"Don't worry Sloan, I'll do what I can."

He nodded. "Okay," he smirked," and I'll do what I can to not say anything about you thinking I smell so good." He flashed her his McSteamy smile.

"I don't think you smell good," she rolled her eyes.

"See, that's where you're wrong, because as I remember it, last night you distinctly said 'I think you smell good,'" he mocked her.

She made a disgusted face. "I would never–"

"And you ended it by referring to me as McSteamy," he smirked.

"Oh God," she said.

"Don't sweat it Stevens," he then whispered," we all have our secret fantasies**."**

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever helps you through the 60 days Sloan."

He chuckled and finally turned on his heel.

"Fix it!" he called over his shoulder

"Jerk," she muttered, hiding a smile.

**

* * *

**

"Alex," she whispered to him.

She had found him in a patient's room, chatting her up. It was the Jane Doe that Sloan had just performed surgery on.

"Alex," she called a little louder this time.

He turned around and spotted the blond who had stepped into the room. He stood up and walked over to her.

"Hey Iz, what's up?"

"It's about last night. Um, can we find a place a little more private?"

"We can talk in here," he said.

She nodded. "This isn't a private place," she said referring to the Jane Doe.

"We can trust Ava," he stated.

"Ava?"

"That's what we're calling her."

"Okay, but Alex, I just don't—"

"Come on," he cut her off and pulled her further into the room. He closed the door and turned back to Izzie.

"Izzie. This is Ava. Ava, Izzie," he introduced the two.

Ava waved and Izzie just looked at her nervously.

"Hey," Izzie said. "You know what Alex, if you're busy we can just talk when we get home."

"Home?" Ava spoke up.

"We're roommates," Alex explained.

"Roommates, huh?" she said suggestively.

Izzie rolled her eyes and started making her way to the door.

"I swear Iz, she won't tell anyone," Alex grabbed her arm.

"I swear," Ava nodded.

Izzie turned around, and seeing the honest looks on their faces, nodded reluctantly.

"Alright then. But this is very private, so you have to keep it zipped," she said as she fiddled her hands.

The two nodded, and so Izzie began.

"Remember what I said last night?"

"You said a few things Iz," Alex replied.

"I did?"

"Yeah, like the George thing. Then you mumbled about me liking you or something. When we got home you mumbled some more…" he trailed off.

"Well, how about something pertaining a pact…"

He squinted his eyes, wondering why she was bringing this up.

"You mean about Sloan and Ad—Dr. Montgomery?"

"That!" she yelled.

"How could I forget," he muttered.

"What are you two talking about?" Ava asked.

"Nothing," Izzie said.

"Why do you ask Izzie?" Alex said.

She turned back to him.

"Well, because…" she paused trying to think of an explanation. "Well, see it's not true. You know drunk people. They say a lot of crazy things."

She chuckled nervously and rolled her eyes, hoping to convince him.

"They also say a lot of true things," he retorted.

"But this falls under 'crazy'" she said.

"You're such a bad liar Iz."

"No I'm—"

"Look, what does it matter if I know. What, do you and Sloan have a sort of bond now. You can't tell me what he tells you?"

"No," she scoffed.

"Why did he tell you then?" he studied her.

She was at a lost for an explanation. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

"Are you hiding something Iz?"

Izzie slumped her shoulders and inhaled. "No," she muttered.

"Then what's going on?"

"Alright fine. Look, Sloan and I—we were just talking. I started poking around and he flat out told me about the pact. But I shouldn't have told you."

"Why?" he smirked. "It's not like I gossip."

"He just doesn't want anyone else knowing. I don't know why though…" she began thinking about that herself.

"It's not like you care, right" she asked Alex.

He chuckled. "No, why would I?"

"Right," Izzie repeated.

"And it's not like I'd sabotage it," Alex muttered under his breath.

"What?" Izzie asked.

"Nothing," Alex said.

Then her beeper went off.

"Shit, Bailey's going to have my head," she said after looking at her beeper. "Later Alex, and don't tell anyone!," she waved to him and left.

"Sabotage what, Alex?" Ava said after witnessing the entire exchange.

**

* * *

**

_A few days later_

"You talk to your friends yet, Stevens?" Mark leaned over the counter at the nurses station.

"Not yet,"she said irritated.

"You said this morning..."

She looked up to meet his eyes. She glared and said sternly,"Haven't had the time. I will talk with them, though. Today."

"Hey, I'm just making sure you get this done."

"I will. I forgave myself, right?"

He smiled at her. "Yeah, you did."

When he spoke to her softly, her irritation faded. "Okay then. Stop checking in on me. I'm not a damsel in distress anymore." She picked up a few charts, flashed him a grin, and walked off.

He chuckled to himself and headed on his way. He had underestimated the strength of Isobel Stevens.

**Please Review…**

_Yeah, it's a filler. But just to lead into the next chapter, which will be on two certain people getting closer. That last part was a bonus– a preview of their upcoming interactions, ones where they will no longer be on a last name basis. And yeah, there's going to be a lilttle Addex in the next chapter, because of the pact and all._


	7. Throw Me A Rope

"Throw Me a Rope" (KT Tunstall)

_Throw Me A Rope _

To Hold Me In Place

Show Me A Clock

For Counting My Days Down

Cause Everything's Easier When You're Beside Me

Come Back And Find Me

Cause I Feel Alone

It was understandable for George to be indifferent to her presence, and for him to still be angry with her. Christina and Meredith, however, were a different story. Each had respectively made their own mistakes, and had forgiven each other almost immediately.

Izzie also kept in mind they both stuck by her in her Denny crises. Both girls, and George and Alex as well. George she would leave alone this time, and Alex was not reprimanding her for her mistake. So when she had gone to apologize to the girls, she knew that it wasn't like she could get one under her belt, and eventually the other. Meredith and Christina totaled one. They had to talk it over together. They would make a unanimous decision. If one forgave, so did the other. But if one stuck to anger, so did the other.

Surprisingly, when Izzie had walked in and spoken her peace, Christina had said they'd talk it over. Meredith looked ready to say 'not yet' or 'no, I don't forgive you.' But Christina had spoken quickly and said they'd go to her when they came to a decision.

And Izzie was grateful for the chance, but she also developed a feeling of inequality. George had been in the room, eating and chatting with the girls (Alex was nowhere in sight). Of course he left as soon as she stepped into the room, but it was expected.

And Izzie, after offering her sorrow and regret, walked out a little angry. She had no right to ask, but she couldn't help but wonder if George had even said 'sorry.' If he had even had to explain to them what he had done. In the back of her mind, Izzie knew he hadn't, that they had just let him in with arms wide open. And she wondered why in the hell it was the dirty mistress that had to suffer the most severe consequences?

"I told my friends," she announced.

Mark snapped his head up.

"Good for you," he mumbled. He was in his office, looking over some charts.

Izzie continued after his response.

"And you know what they said, well what Christina said?"

He opened his mouth to answer her, but she had no patience.

"That they'd talk it over. Which is cool, whatever. They'll talk and they'll probably forgive me right?" Her voice was slowly reaching higher and higher pitches.

"Uh huh," Mark aimlessly answered, too occupied with his work.

"But what I don't get is how they can still be all chummy with George like he did no wrong, and they be all so angry with me!" She began to pace the room.

"Ste–" he began.

"I mean, he's the one who's married. And I know that I was aware of that, but come on! It takes two to friggin tango!" She screamed exasperated.

She stopped speaking then, as she was out of breath from her rambling and ventilating. Mark, realizing that his office was once again quiet, looked to Izzie. She had her hands pressed to her forehead, and she seemed to be thinking too hard.

"You're right Stevens. They can't judge you without judging him, but ignorance is bliss for some. So you have to be the bigger person. When they forgive you, then you can talk to them about it."

She scoffed. "Yeah, if I complain they'll probably ditch me again."

"Then you're better off without them," he shrugged.

She nodded, understanding what he was saying. If they left her the instant she pointed out their injustice, then they were never really her friends to begin with. But she knew that they were her friends, and she had been slightly overreacting. If and when Christina and Meredith forgave her, she would talk to them about the George thing and they'd admit their mistakes. Because they had been through far worse.

Seeing her come to the realization that would have otherwise taken her eons to come to, he spoke. "Alright Stevens, I've got work to get to."

"Yeah," she nodded. She then flashed him a smile and walked to the door. She paused at the door and said," It's Izzie."

He furrowed his brows and turned her gaze to him. "What?"

"My friends call me Izzie."

"And women call me McSteamy," he smirked.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "You're hopeless."

"And you talk too much...Izzie," he drawled out her name and rolled his eyes, feigning disgust at calling her by her first name.

But she brushed off his fake tone, smiled at him, and bounced off.

When she left, he contemplated her words. For some reason, his blood boiled at knowing that Burke's and Derek's girls were treating Izzie like crap and George like a hometown hero. And being Mark Sloan, he didn't think twice before going to amend the situation. Well, his way of correcting things anyway.

**

* * *

**

"Grey, Yang, good to find you both!" he bellowed.

Mark had done a little walking until he found the girls, who had come out of a patient's room when he spotted them.

They turned at the sound of his voice. Meredith grinned while Christina began mumbling obscenities.

"I'm happy to see both of you too," he said as he crossed his arms, flashing his McSteamy smile.

"We're trying bright and shiny," Meredith replied.

"Yeah right," Christina scoffed.

"Well, isn't that nice. Of course that would be more believable if it was true," his tone altered.

Meredith scrunched up her face, confused as to why Mark's voice towards them started to sound sour.

"What do you want Sloan?" Christina asked point-blank.

"I want you to stop being so childish," he said, his voice getting louder as well.

"If being happy and quirky means being like kids, then I–" Meredith started.

"That's not what I meant!" he yelled.

The outside conversations quieted and now everyone was looking at them.

Mark, not wanting to garner too much attention, said in a hushed voice," I noticed that you two are still best buds with O'Malley. But I haven't noticed the same with Stevens."

Meredith's furrowed her brows, already hating the direction of this conversation. Yang on the other hand, maintained her usual demeanor.

"What the crap do you care Sloan?" Christina said.

"I could care less about the drama you little interns have amongst yourselves. What I do care about is how it affects my work! Ever since you two decided to become an exclusive, George only club, I've had to put up with Stevens rants. So give it a rest. Stop being so damn immature. If you're not going to let it go, then at least treat George the way you've treating Izzie," his eyes cut directly to Meredith.

She kept averting his gaze, knowing he was right, but she wouldn't admit it to herself. She couldn't help but chastise Izzie.

"You see her in yourself Grey, and you're punishing her, reflecting your guilt onto her. And that isn't fair."

"What are you, a psychiatrist," Meredith replied.

"He's right Mer," Christina said.

She brought her eyes up and stared at Christina incredulously. "You're going to take his side? Seriously? Seriously?!" she screamed getting everyone's attention again.

"Let Stevens off the hook Grey, or you'll feel the wrath of the original dirty mistress," Mark said as Meredith drew her eyes to him. He was serious. His eyes communicated that he meant every word, and that he would make good on his threat.

Mark, feeling he had gotten through, turned his back and walked away.

Christina was still looking at Meredith, trying to tell her that she was sorry but that she had been serious as well. Meredith could not punish Izzie to put off her own guilt.**

* * *

**

_That night_

"How's Jane Doe," she said.

"It's Ava," he said.

Her red hair covering her expression, and her glasses hiding her eyes, Addison sighed and rolled her eyes. She pulled her glasses up and tucked in a piece of her hair.

"How is Ava?" she asked him again.

He took her in carefully, noting the exasperation in her eyes, and the dark circles that fell beneath her almond-shaped eyes.

"She's good. Impatient to get those bandages off. Anxious actually," he said.

Without looking, she knew he had smiled in that correction of his. Smirked, not smiled, she berated herself. Alex never smiled much.

Silence quickly enveloping them, it only added to the tension present since the moment he entered the empty exam room. Well, not so much empty considering Addison occupied it.

"There something you need Karev?"

"What?" he asked surprised at the sound of her voice. He had somewhat zoned out, over thinking their situation and the Addison-Sloan pact. _Damn Sloan_, he thought.

"Do you need to speak to me Karev?" she said irritatingly.

"Uh..." he started dumbfounded. "Oh yeah," he cleared his throat," Ms. Thompson okayed the C-section."

Addison furrowed her brows. He didn't have to tell her–she could read in Ms. Thompson's chart just fine, or hear from him the next morning.

"That all Karev?" she said, her tone that of expectation, maybe even hope.

That and if strangulation was the way to kill Mark.

"Well actually," he started," I wanted to ask you something that has seriously gotten my attention."

"Alright," Addison said turning back to the x-rays in her hand.

"Why is Izzie always heading over to the plastics department?"

It was a random question. But Alex knew it could lead her to over-contemplate things, given that he offered a few more weird scenarios.

"Bailey assigns interns," Addison answered, not in the mood for any games.

"Not unless they're exclusively requested."

"Well Karev, you are not on Mark's favorite person's list. And Yang and Grey are permanently taken by their respective..._boyfriends._ That leaves you, O'Malley, and Stevens. And given his likes and dislikes, Mark will obviously request the hot blond."

"Izzie would so kick your ass if she heard you say that," Alex said.

Addison glanced over to him, hating how he always was on the defensive for Stevens.

"Why the interest, Karev?" she asked.

"Interest? In Stevens?" he began to mumble. "I don't have an interest in Izzie, why would you ask that..."

"I didn't mean in Stevens," she said, her tone angry for him immediately jumping to that conclusion," I meant in the assigning of interns?"

"Oh," he said, slapping himself mentally. Now she probably thought he had a thing for Izzie. "It's not that. Just lately, Sloan and Izzie seem to be getting close. Ya know, hanging out at bars together. Talking about things that she won't talk to Grey about..." he exaggerated his claims, knowing otherwise she could brush it off (little did he know he wasn't exactly exaggerating).

She wasn't going to deny it. Addison was suddenly irked. She wouldn't say jealous, nor was she surprised that Mark was hitting it off with some girl. But Stevens? And so early on in their pact?"

"Well sometimes interns and attendings develop close relationships," she began to explain. But man was that a bad answer. Close relationships in Seattle Grace meant having sex.

"Or, um," she cleared her throat,"they have been discussing a procedure in large detail. Sloan could possible be getting a rare surgery that requires much studying, and a helpful hand at that," she stuttered in her explanation.

Alex smirked, having gotten Addison suspicious and untrustworthy of Sloan.

Running through the possibilities through her head, her mind soon came back to why it mattered to Alex.

"What does it matter anyway Karev," she said, returning to her usual confident demeanor.

"I just find it strange," he shrugged," well this chat was nice Dr. Montgomery. Later." He turned his back to her and walked swiftly out of the room.

Oh, Addison was definitely over contemplating things with Sloan now. Which was good for Alex.**

* * *

**

_Same night_

The day had seemed long. It had definitely been tiresome. But so were most days, especially when you worked in a place where judgment day came and went every day, bringing with it life and death.

She approached him silently, her footsteps inaudible and his mind occupied with a million and one procedures.

His back turned to her, she spoke softly.

"Why'd you do it?"

He was startled, but as he did with most things, he brushed off his surprise in his answer.

"Do what?" he asked.

"Give Mer and Christina a lecture," she said.

He stopped his paper work and looked up to the ceiling. Sighing he placed the papers back onto the bin. He flashed the nurse before him a smile and turned around slowly.

They were at the nurses station, with every staff member almost being gone. The few nurses left were the ones who didn't mind being there late. The ones that actually cared about their work, not about the hook-ups and break-ups.

"They had it coming," he shrugged.

She squinted her eyes and studied his face.

"You had no right," she finally said.

"Whatever Stevens. I did what was in the best interest for everyone."

"For everyone or for you?" she crossed her arms and began tapping her foot.

"Does it matter Stevens? There's no bad blood anymore, so why are you reproaching me?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "Are you really that dense?"

Mark crossed his arms, not understanding why she would be so mad at him.

"You interfered Sloan. You got in my business. Remember you said you couldn't do anything? That only I could forgive myself and only I could say sorry or whatever?"

He nodded, but didn't see any wrongdoing.

"Then why the hell did you do it?"

"To keep us from having these personal dialogues!" he blurted out abruptly.

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"Look Stevens, not that I haven't enjoyed our therapy sessions, but honestly I'm not a talking kind of guy. You either do something or you don't."

"And you did?" she put her hands on her hips.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I need some sleep," he mumbled. He moved to leave, but she put up her hand, indicating for him to stay.

"You are a talking kind of guy," she stated, "you've given me some awesome advice. So why the hell did you talk to them for me?"

"You did your part Stevens. But they kept being immature. It's a wrong on their part, and they had to know that."

Their eyes were locked, each pair intense. One pair angry, one frustrated.

"You did it for me," she stated. Her glare didn't falter, her voice did not tremble, because amidst one of their talks she had seen Mark Sloan had a heart. And again he was trying to hide this. She understood that he was like that, and she wasn't trying to change that. Isobel Stevens was just curious by nature. And Mark Sloan was rapidly becoming one of the most intriguing persons she had met.

He didn't answer. His eyes remained unfeeling, as he tried to sustain any and all emotions. He had not done it necessarily for her. He had done it inevitably for her. She had shown to be a good doctor, and she had shown herself to be human (AKA flawed).

Izzie had made a couple grand mistakes, but she had stood her ground and remained unwavering. She was fierce, independent, and stubborn as hell. And it reminded him of the younger, more optimistic Addison. Mark Sloan had not rebutted nor fought for justice for Izzie Stevens herself, but rather for what she stood for.

Because ultimately Izzie had been able to suck up her anger and her pain, and waved her white flag, rendering an apology. Something he had tried and failed in, and he knew it was because he had no one to stand with him. Because as much as he hated admitting it, every person needed a person to confide it, to lean on. So for Izzie, he had decided to be that confidant. After all, it wasn't right for such injustice to be done, and then for the one wronged to be beating themselves up over it.

"I don't owe you an explanation Stevens. And you don't owe me a thank you. So leave the situation as it is. But in my defense, I only told your friends what you couldn't call them on because hearing it from you would be just noise."

Not content with his answer she snarled at him and pointed a finger at him. "You are such an ass," she paused,"but a well-intentioned one once in a while. So I'll let this go–for now."

He scoffed, not caring if she let it go or not.

"In the meantime I will say thank you," she continued.

He opened his mouth to protest but she interrupted him.

"And I _do_ owe you that, so suck it up Sloan."

He smirked as she said that, adding wit to her list of talents.

She smiled, having gotten a _sort_ of smile from him. She finally nodded to him, and turned on her heel. As she progressed a couple of steps however, he said," It's Mark, Izzie."

She smiled and, her back still to him, nodded acknowledging him. "Okay," she turned her head briefly to him,"...Mark," and she kept on her way.

_Whenever I'm Falling _

You're Always Behind Me

Come Back And Find Me

Everything's Easier When You're Beside Me

Come Back And Find Me

Cause I Feel Alone

**Please Review...**

Yes, it's been over a week, but when you have senioritis it affects everything in your life. But I will try to get you the next update faster. Thanks for hanging in there and reviewing.


	8. Simple Things

"Simple Things"

"Good morning Mark!" came the preppy voice of the blond intern.

Groaning and rubbing his eyes, the attending muttered some not very kind words and began walking away.

"I said, good morning," she followed behind him, her voice sounding more demanding now.

He ceased his steps and turned to her.

"Coffee," he stated.

"Ugh," she scoffed," Do you not know how to greet people?"

"Do you?" he prompted her.

"No, I'm just some dumb blond bimbo who by chance got an internship in one of the best hospitals in the country," she rolled her eyes.

He smirked," Yes, well blonds do get a lot of chances. Now, by any chance, could you get me my coffee?"

"I'm not some secretary, Sloan," she said, ignoring his smartass blond remark.

"Aw, what happened to Mark," he pouted, but immediately returned to his smirk," or better yet, what happened to McSteamy?" He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Why do I even try?" she muttered, but loud enough for him to hear.

He smirked, and opened his mouth slightly, but Izzie appeared to be quicker.

"Don't answer that," she said, a dead-serious look claiming her face. And once he shut his mouth again, she smiled.

"So Mark, I was thinking that we should have lunch together," she shrugged, asking as casually as possible.

He furrowed his brows. "What are you up to Stevens?"

She rolled her eyes. "Nothing. Can't I just want to have lunch with a friend?"

"What about your fellow intern friends. Last I remembered, you all kissed and made up."

"Not all friends run in the same circle, and you are need of some serious company," she crossed her arms and cut her eyes directly to him.

He squinted some more at her, than made an expression of fake realization.

"Oh...," he smirked," I see what this is about, but you should know better...Izzie. I intend on keeping up my end of the pact with Addison."

"Ha ha, Mark. Seriously, this is just lunch," she scoffed.

"Sure," he rolled his eyes, imitating her expressions," But that's quite alright Stevens. I do not need your pity."

"Yes you do, so I'll meet you in the patio at lunch. Cool? Cool," she didn't pause for his response. Because no matter what, Izzie Stevens had to get her way.

And as she left him there, angry, Mark could only say that he was if anything, stunned. The girl didn't have balls, but she sure had a personality that could fit a dozen women, and topple a dozen men.

**GAGAGAGAGA**

"Please tell me we're going elsewhere for lunch," he groaned as Izzie reached for a couple trays.

"Nope. We're eating here. You, Mark Sloan, are going to have the pleasure of having a good-ol' fashioned, school cafeteria-like food," she said, her large smile wiping making it hard for him to keep his frown–but not (yet) impossible.

"Yuppee," he grumbled.

"Oh shut up, and here," she thrust him his tray. "Get everything I get," she told him over her shoulder, "otherwise you'll end up with food poisoning, which is not pretty."

"Nothing can make me un-pretty," he smirked, making her throw him a mocking grin.

She proceeded down the line and pointed at the brown mess they were approaching. "Now this," she said as they stood in front of it,"is the main course."

"What–"

"You don't wanna know, but here's a clue...," she paused and put on a mischievous grin," it's considered an aphrodisiac–in China."

"Uh," he grimaced, already looking green.

"No, ummm," she said, rubbing her belly. She laughed as he placed his hand over his mouth. "Oh yeah, nothing can make you un-pretty Mark."

He glared at her, and began turning away.

"Nope, you have to stay put mister. Now seriously, it's some of the best stuff here, so..." she grabbed the spoon and gave him a helpful amount,"...enjoy!" She grinned.

"I'm gonna vomit," he muttered.

"Shh," she said," no hurry up, there's people waiting."

They made their way down the entire line, each item looking worse than the one before. Sadly, the desserts were no better. They actually looked worse than the food.

After serving themselves, Izzie led Mark to an empty table where the two set their trays down. Forcing Mark to look everywhere but at the table.

"Stop being such a baby, it's really not that bad," Izzie said, trying to stifle her laughs.

"Really?" he said in a disbelieving tone.

"No!" she screamed," it's horrible, but man was that fun." She laughed, her cheeks growing red.

"Do you enjoy watching from the gallery Izzie?" he asked after her little confession–using her first name.

"Did you just call me by my first name? Without being sarcastic, that is?"

"I asked first," he stared her in the eyes. Soon they were caught in a battle of the wills, each waiting for the other to blink first.

But Izzie never could resist a good laugh, and soon she was cracking up again.

"I'm sorry," she cleared her throat,"It's just funny seeing Mark Sloan, the arrogant plastic surgeon, dining out in this place and being such a baby about it."

"I am not being a baby about it," he grumbled.

"Right..." she said, only spurning his annoyance on.

"Why did I agree to this? Wait I didn't, so I should get going," he said. He stood up, threw the food a deadly glare, and then did the same to Izzie.

She didn't stop him, having enough fun with him for the day. Besides, as his intern, they had the rest of the day to torture each other.

**

* * *

**

"No, not again," he buried his head in his hands.

"Oh stop complaining," she rolled her eyes at his brattiness.

"You don't have to eat with me today," she continued after he failed to bring his head up to look at her.

That seemed to do the trick as he lifted his head.

"Seriously?" he smirked.

"Ugh, you don't have to mock me. But yes I'm serious."

He grinned now. "Good. So I'll be on my way," he turned his back to her and put a step forward.

"Although I know you wouldn't mind the company, I know how lonely you must be," she averted his gaze and played with her hands.

He turned back around and gave her a disbelieving look. "You trying to bed me Stevens?" he smirked.

"Does everything have to be about sex with you?" she looked to him.

"Did you just avoid my question?"

"Are you done being a smartass?"

He chuckled,"Ah, you interns sure do know how to give me a good laugh. Well, it was good speaking to you, but I must go."

He walked away, without any protests from her. He won this battle today, but tomorrow she would win, making way for a victory of them being friends (although she already considered them friends, she just needed him to see he could count on her).

**

* * *

**

The next day he agreed to have lunch with her–on the basis that they eat_ outside_ of the hospital. She had been hesitant, but knew that she either had to compromise or allow for him to keep being the solo ranger.

He found it strange that she wanted to spend time with her. He narrowed it down to two possibilities. Either she was interested in him or she wanted to repay him the favor.

The former he really didn't mind. He knew how attractive Izzie was. Her long blond locks, fair skin, full body. If it wasn't for that pact, he wouldn't be having lunch with her. No, going out and having dates was way too for him. He'd either score with her or leave her the hell alone. After all, the last time he tried the chasing thing? Yeah, it landed him in the most screwed up hospital, boring city, and celibacy state.

The latter he didn't like at all. He didn't like owing people, but that didn't mean he wanted people paying him back. If someone wanted to do something for him, it shouldn't be done out of guilt. He hated guilt tripes, whether they came his way or towards another. Izzie could return the favor if she wanted, but not if there was pity involved.

Now, the way Izzie was acting, it seemed like pity. She turned down his advances and rolled her eyes at his behavior. But he was McSteamy. So she had to be attracted to him. That was beside the point though–every woman found him attractive. So he came to the conclusion that Izzie was feeling guilty, hence her forcing them to lunch together. But confronting her about it? Nah. Not that he would voice it aloud, but he actually enjoyed her company, and him yelling at her would cease their luncheons.

She didn't necessarily feel guilty; Izzie knew she didn't have to pay him back or whatever. However, she did feel sorry for the guy. He wasn't all that bad. He had done some real dirty deeds, deeds which had cost him his friendships. But enough time had passed, and they hadn't even offered him a chance. Well, except now for Addison. Which was good. Yeah, it was good.

* * *

"So you have seriously gone 28 days without sex?" she asked. 

They had been dining out for the past two weeks. It wasn't consecutive, as Izzie would sometimes eat with her fellow interns. Other times Mark wouldn't be up for it (he would sometimes go off and bother, pardon, woo Addison).

He nodded, pushing the food on his tray around with his fork. "Yes Izzie. Yesterday marked 27 days and today marks 28 days. Glad to see you can count."

"Wow, Addison must be really proud," Izzie let out a small laugh, ignoring his sarcasm. Unfortunately, she had grown accustomed to it.

**GAGAGAGAGA**

"You think they're screwing each other?" Callie asked.

Chewing on her glasses, Addison nodded a no.

"No. Believe it or not, Mark cannot lie," Addison answered, looking intently at the pair that had garnered quite an audience.

"You asked him a little over a week ago, things could have changed by now," Callie kept poking.

"Stevens wouldn't sleep with Sloan," Addison said.

Callie scoffed,"Yeah, cuz she's the epitome of ethic."

Addison turned to her and offered her a comforting smile. She rubbed her shoulder and exhaled. "You're working it out Callie, and your husband has had no contact outside work with her. You need to forgive."

"Yeah, yeah," Callie bit at her food," but seriously, looking at it objectively, they do seem to be doing something together. Besides eating together I mean."

"I thought that too when Al–," she cleared her throat," Dr. Karev mentioned that Mark and Stevens were, as he put it, 'getting close.'"

"Well, with Sloan, getting close means tapping an ass," Callie commented.

Addison cocked an eyebrow and pursed her lips.

"You know what I mean," Callie defended herself.

"I do," Addison sighed," but Mark said he made use of his self-control to put of Izzie's supposed attempts and agreed to hang out with her."

"Right," Callie chuckled.

"Knowing Stevens, _she_ put off _his_ attempts," Addison smirked. Izzie never struck her as the pleading sort of woman, and despite her immaturity, she did seem to be able to differentiate between good and bad men (emotionally, anyway).

Callie remained quiet, her judgment too affected to assess accordingly.

"But why and how this sudden friendship of theirs has blossomed is a complete mystery to me..."Addison kept chewing at her glasses, trying to crack the mystery.

"Well, I don't have that answer, but Mark–who is on his way over here by the way," Callie whispered into her ear,"–might."

Addison glared at her. "Thanks for the warning," she muttered.

Callie shrugged," No prob."

Mark stopped in front of their table and rested his palms on it. He leaned in and flashed Addison his signature McSteamy smile. "Hello there gorgeous," Mark said.

"See," Addison turned to Callie,"if they had he wouldn't have the balls to do that."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Callie shrugged.

Mark looked at them confused."What are you two referring to?"

"I'll see ya later Addison," Callie stood up to receive a hurt look from her," later Sloan."

"Wuss!" Addison hissed to Callie who in turn stuck out her tongue.

Mark made his way to Callie's abondaned chair as the two grown women kept making faces at one another.

"So, what was that about?" Mark asked as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms behind his head.

Addison turned her head slowly to him gave him a cold glare.

"We were just discussing you and your lunch date," she said, placing her glasses back on.

"Lunch date?"

"Stevens," Addison began looking through the magazine she had been pretending to read before.

"Oh," he chuckled. He ceased when he noticed Addison wasn't given him a moment's notice.

"Oh," he said more seriously, "are you jealous Addie?" he said mockingly.

She put her magazine fall from her fingers. "Hardly," she laughed, looking at him.

"Then why the interest?" he leaned forward, resting his forearms on the table.

"Curiosity," Addison corrected him, "and I'm not the only one curious. Your 'friendship' with Stevens has caused quite a buzz."

"Shows the lack of life they have," he remarked. His beeper then went off, prompting him to cease their conversation.

"Emergency," he said," I'll see you later Addie." He leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, but she pulled away. He laughed, "34 days Addison. 34."

"34 more days," she repeated once he left. Once he was gone, she began flipping through her magazine again. However, her "peace" was disrupted when she heard the laughter of the woman they had just been speaking about. Hearing it come from behind her, she pretended to crack her back to take a glance.

She only had a moment to see to whom she was speaking to, but it was made clear once another spoke. And voice came from none other than Alex Karev. She turned around quickly, afraid that he would catch her looking. But she was curious, so she held up her glasses and tried catching their reflection.

She twisted them, finding it hard to see them in such a small frame. Not only that, but she was holding up the glasses like they were television antennas, making it suspicious no doubt.

The small glimpses she did see, she didn't like. She could hear the gigling of Grey in the back, and the snarky voice of Yang. Ale's voice was the most distinct. His words were muffled most of the time, but it was still masculine and unique to her. And Izzie? Well, that girl was loud.

Her chest rose, with Alex's voice carrying on over to her ears and the followings of Steven's laughter. It made her uneasy, and not in the way Stevens lunch dates with Mark made her.

**GAGAGAGAGA**

"You did not!" Izzie squealed.

Alex nodded his head, smirking at the memory.

"You're so bad Alex," Meredith said whilst smiling.

"Just compared to McDreamy, Mer," Alex replied.

"What prompted you?" Cristina asked, more focused than the childish antics of her friends.

"Yeah, why'd get Mark the wrong drink?" Izzie asked with an inquistive stare.

"Mark?" the other three said simultaneously.

Izzie rolled her eyes. "Are you guys going to do that every time I call him Mark."

"Yeah," they replied in the same tone they would reply a 'duh.'

She rolled her eyes again. "Whatever," she dismissed it," so Alex, why'd ya do it?"

He shrugged, and started taking bites from his food, ignoring the whys. Like he would really answer _that–then why'd you bring it up?_ He chastised himself.

"You did not just change the subject," Cristina glared at Izzie.

"Weren't we talking about Alex?" Izzie played her off.

"Seriously, why do you hang out with Sloan?" Meredith attacked her.

Rolling her eyes, she shrugged,"he's cool." Her answer too vague to be declared an answer.

"Cool?" Cristina scoffed.

"Once you get past all his sexual innuendos, harassment, advancements, desire, etc., he's actually a nice person," Izzie explained calmly.

"That sorta guy only gets past that sorta stuff by getting his sexual cravings," Alex commented.

The girls grew quiet, then Meredith and Cristina looked at one another, than at Izzie, expecting a sort of confession.

"What?" Izzie said after a few moments of their staring at her.

Cristina leaned into Izzie. "Are you and Sloan..." she wriggled her eyebrows.

"What–" she started bewildered,"eww! No!"

Then Meredith leaned in. "So does he like you?"

She scoffed. "No, believe me. He already has the hots for someone else."

"So then you like him?" Cristina said.

"Eww," was her only reply. She scrunched up her face and rolled her eyes, trying to look as disgusted as possible.

"Juat the hots, not actual like for someone else?" Alex asked nonchalantly.

"You interested," Cristina grinned.

He just rolled his eyes. "Never mind," he muttered.

"So seriously, what's up with you and McSteamy," Meredith asked, biting her lip and winking.

"Ugh, whatever. You guys don't believe me so I'm leaving," she stood up from the table," buh-bye." She waved them good-bye, not up to arguing with them. Right now Mark was a good alternative. He didn't ask a lot of or from her. _That's really why he's cool_, came the thought that she shook off.

The rest of her fellow interns allowed a certain time of silence after she left–their sight that is.

Peering over to make sure the blond had left their sights, Cristina whispered, "So what is really going on between them?"

"Nothing," Alex said, sticking his fork in his food. He looked up at them, sending them a look that could put their _seriously? seriously?!_ to shame.

"What, are you doing her?" Cristina snapped at him.

"How do you guys look at yourselves in the mirror?" he retorted.

"Then how do you know they're not messing around?" Meredith asked, a look of concern in her eyes.

"Dude, believe me. If Sloan was getting some–from anyone, he'd be a lot less crankier," Alex smirked, letting out a chuckle, although a hint of discontent was visible.

"He's always cranky," Cristina drawled out. She leaned toward Alex. "How do you know he's not get getting any?"

"I'm sure he didn't mean much by that Cristina," Meredith turned to Alex, "right Alex?"

But he wasn't much for lying after getting caught. He looked like a deer caught in headlights, as his eyes were dilated and his mouth was open, with no words forming.

"I was, just—of course, I don't know... what?" he said, trying to play it cool.

"Your hiding something!" Meredith said a little too loudly. Her shrll voice caught her neighbors attention, to whom she offered a tight smile and a 'sorry.' She turned back to Alex and stared him dead in the eyes.

"What is going on with McSteamy," she said.

"No-nothing," he answered nervously.

"You tell us or I swear I will kick your ass so hard, you won't be able to function," Cristina said, taking a glance at his pants.

Alex laughed. Meredith gave him a look and said," She will. I've seen her do it. Poor guy never saw it coming."

Alex stopped laughing and saw she was dead serious. He didn't even need Meredith's assertion though–his gut always told him Cristina was trouble.

"Speak," Cristina demanded.

He opened his mouth, but was hesitant to say anything.

"You want the details of Cristina's beatings?" Meredith said.

"Alright, alright," Alex gave in (like he wasn't going to).

He cleared his throat and scanned the area. Having noticed Addison's presence since the beginning, he felt awkward saying this, especially with her around.

"Sloan and Dr. Montgomery," he had leaned in," made a 60-day, no sex pact."

They were shocked. Silence encompassed them. Until they began laughing uncontrollably.

Alex rolled his eyes. It was best they found it unbelievable anyway.

He stood up to leave but Meredith got a hold of him.

"Okay, seriously, tell us," she said, wiping at the water on the tips of her eyes.

"It's been like three weeks, or a little more," and with that he left.

"Seriously?" Meredith giggled.

"Seriously?!" Cristina followed.

**

* * *

**

_A few days later_

"Have I mentioned that all of my friends are crazy?" Izzie announced her presence.

"All interns are," he answered, propping his feet up onto his desk and leaning back.

"Excuse me?" Izzie said defensively.

"I don't like repeating myself Izzie,"Mark said. He closed his eyes and cracked his neck.

"What brings you here this fine night?" he asked.

Their day had consisted of surgeries and consults for Mark, and scrubbing in and doing rounds in the clinic for Izzie. Factor in the gossiping, quips, and flirting (on Mark's part of course), and it had been one tiring day.

"I'm just bored," she shrugged. She saw an area to sit on his desk, and she took it. For some odd reason he only had one chair in the place–then again it was a one-man office.

"So what's up," she flashed her toothy grin.

"Why are your friends crazy?" he asked her.

"Didn't I ask first?"

"Yours was more a way to start a conversation. Mine's a straight out, one answer question."

"Actually, your question can warrant various sorts of answers, such as Mer is crazy because she's in love. Cristina is crazy because she's a perfectionist. Alex is crazy because he has mysterious hot dates all the time. And George is crazy because he's with Callie. Meredith is also crazy cuz–"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Please dear God, Stop!" Mark groaned, pulling his head back.

Izzie had rambled too much for his liking, even though her mocking tone and exasperated hand expressions were quite humourous.

Izzie giggled, knowing her incessant talking would wear him out. He sure knew how to entertain her.

"I don't find this to be funny Stevens," he said, his hands falling from his head and instead crossing over his chest.

"Stop lying," was her simple reply.

"Whatever, just don't break my desk."

"How heavy do you think I am?" she brought a hand to her chest and opened her eyes wide.

"Well..." he began as he slowly drew his eyes up and down her body.

"You perv!" she exclaimed, kicking him softly in the thigh.

"That's not a place to hit a perv," he cocked an eyebrow, prompting her to kick him harder.

"Hey!" he shouted, grabbing her foot. She wriggled free and jumped down from the desk.

"No one touches Isobel Stevens!" she scrunched up her face and placed her hands on her hips.

"Oh what are you going to do about it?" he relaxed back into his chair.

Izzie shifted her weight onto her left leg and scoffed. Shaking her head in disbelief, she took a few steps and swatted him hard in the back of his head.

"Hey!" he screamed, dropping his legs from his desk. He rubbed the back of his head, messing up his mane more so than it already was. With his pouted lips and furrowed brows, he looked ridiculous. _Cute actually_, she thought to herself, immediately shaking her head to rid herself of those sort of thoughts. But immediately came _he's hot, not cute_.

He stood up abruptly and turned to Izzie.

"I have a rule that I have abided by all my life, are you going to change that Izzie?" he stared her directly in the eyes.

"Oh, you wouldn't dare," she replied, cocking her own eyebrow. He took a step forward, and so she took one backwards.

"Yeah?" he challenged her. He crossed his arms and put on a smug smile. He might have been threatening her, with his words sounding coarse and his steps towards her looking like they were seeking harm, but his smug smile betrayed him. Because the smug he had on was the one she recognized as his playful one, and his eyes were soft compared to the way he looked at say, Alex or Derek when Derek would be arrogant around Addison.

"Yeah," she said, her arms to her side, and her own playful smug on her lips.

He was glad she knew how to take everything in stride. He knew how much of an ass he could be perceived as, and how his confidence was often taken as cockiness. However, Izzie had from day one cut through the bullshit and turned the tables in her favor. Right now though, he wanted to see if he could beat her in at least one battle. And this one had to be it.

Their eyes were locked, his blue pools daring her brown ones to back down, to turn her back and walk out of that door. Her brown pools daring him to admit that in the hastiest of situations he wouldn't hit a woman, because he wasn't that sort of man. Whether he knew it or not, he was a good man.

"What are you going to do, Sloan?" she cocked her head to the right.

He took yet another step and noted that it would take a couple more until her back hit the door.

"What are _you_ going to do, Stevens?" cocking his head to his right.

"Oh, wouldn't you love to know," she replied. Suddenly her voice had gone to a lower pitch, and the room seemed to have minimized. There had been minimal space between them since they had begun their little fight of dominance. She wondered how many more steps she had left, and...there it was, the door, hitting her back as he drew a large step and left her stranded. She gasped and cursed under her breath, looking down at the floor and finally bringing her eyes up to meet his.

He was surprisingly close, his breath even softly hitting her forehead. He seemed so tall there, his eyes lurking over her, his smirk threatening to make her break into a smile, and his foot tapping, telling her he was waiting for her to retreat. But she was not one to back down, even though now her back was literally against the wall, and her breath had become too ragged to form comprehensible words.

But she took a gulp, her will unrelenting, forcing her to smirk and cut through his eyes. "You scared of what's next Mark?"

Seeing her go from zero to sixty, from apparently stuck to ever-determined–it was enticing. And it made him want to desperately know what she was going to do.

"Nothing scares me," and he decided to find out if she scared easily. He dropped his arms from his chest and instead placed them on either side of her. He leaned in closer to her, and bent to meet her height.

"But tell me, what scares you?" he smirked.

She took a deep intake of breath and her will let her down for a second. Her eyes dropped from his eyes to the floor, but she quickly looked back up again. She plastered on a smile and said," I've seen the worst things. Nothing scares me." And she brought her arms to her chest and crossed them, and she stood up straight to prove she could stand her ground.

With her structure straightened, and his face having been hovering slightly over hers, now they were face to face.

And Mark saw something in her eyes that didn't just remind him of Addison. It showed him that not only was she a strong woman once broken, but she was also a learning one, with concerns that extended beyond her life, beyond, the hospitals, beyond her safe circle. It extended to her individuality and self-integrity. She was one to stand her ground. And it wasn't an enticement that he felt to test her at this moment.

His eyes searched hers, making her gulp, and now she searched his eyes. He brought his face closer, and she had an instinct to close her eyes, but she feared he was just testing her strength. But she didn't fear Mark himself. He was challenging her, in not in this seemingly vain way that appeared to be a friendly, everyday game. He was challenging her to be herself. To stand her ground for her sake. What had begun as a battle of the sexes had transformed into a battle of self-will.

He neared her lips, and man how he craved her right now. Not because it had been more than 30 days than he had sex. Not because she beared a little resemblance to Addison. And it all had to do with the reason he really enjoyed their lunches together.

His lips neared hers, and damn it–she was anticipating it. Not for his extremely good looks, not for his machoness, and not because she was horny or felt lonely. And it all had to do with the reason his pact with Addison had begun to make her uneasy.

**Please Review...**


	9. Drop in the Ocean

Thanks for the Reviews! Enjoy this update!

"Drop in the Ocean" (Michelle Branch)

_I was feeling as small  
As a drop in the ocean_

He was faltering.

Those thoughts that he had pushed to the back of his head had suddenly converted into blinking, neon lights in his eyes. Sure, several dozen promises had gone broken and shattered by him. What difference would it make if he did so once again--if he broke another woman's heart?

_The difference would be that the same woman would be involved,_ the same heart that he swore to love. And not only could he not do that to the same woman, he couldn't disappoint himself. Mark Sloan could get any woman he pleased, and if not, he could forget her in a snap. Mark Sloan could look out for himself primarily and let everyone else deal with their problems on their own. Mark Sloan could walk forward without looking back, leaving behind tainted trails and drained souls. So Mark Sloan resolved to be that man so often obscured and only shown to a chosen few. He knew he could not falter.

She looked so good right there, her lips slightly parted, her cheeks with a touch of pink on her pale skin. Stray hairs fell down her face, her chest hardly moving, but her eyes shown life he had never seen in the halls of Seattle Grace Hospital before. She was a beautiful woman, that much was sure. And already having decided he could not go through with this, he told himself that was it. She was an amazingly good-looking, fun young woman to whom any straight man could fall for.

Backing his head some, he cracked his infamous McSteamy grin which brought a perplexed look to Isobel Stevens features.

"I have a little hotel room to get home to Stevens, so if we could speed up this process of you retreating it would be a great help," he said, his words quiet and almost hurtful amidst the sexually tensioned room.

"Wh—," she stuttered, unable to move her body, much less to form a word. She studied his face. His smirk didn't falter, neither the position of his arms, but his stance had changed. His body was no longer leaning forward, but rather it had moved back, and his head no longer tilted.

"What?" she said, deciding to cross her arms and rest her weight on her right foot.

He rolled his eyes. "I have no more time for these games Izzie. So just wave your white flag so I can get out of this socially ill hospital."

She opened her mouth, but it was left agape when no words came out and her eyebrows furrowed deeper in.

"Fine," he said, dropping his arms, hitting her softly on her shoulders. The sensation hit her senses, and all the tingling from his touch only confused her more. Apparently unaffected however, Mark turned his back on Izzie and walked to his desk.

"Seeing as how you haven't spoken a word, it will be deemed that I have won this battle," he said as he gathered up his things, his back turned to her.

"That's not how it works," Izzie finally spoke. Her tone was stern, her words not entirely meaning one straight thing.

He turned around to her casually, swinging his bag over his shoulder. He smirked and walked a couple of steps forward.

He looked to form a word, but decided against it, apparent when he scoffed and dropped his head to the floor and quickly brought it back to Izzie's eyes. "We'll finish this some other time Izzie," he said, walking to the door.

Izzie kept her eyes on him, keeping his eyes locked with hers. Her face spoke volumes as she cocked her tongue in her cheek, as her eyes squinted, as her nose twitched softly. She was visibly angry. But he figured her anger was due to his declaration of victory.

She was not so much angry. She was irritated. Had he intended to simply ask her to retreat. Or had they in fact almost kissed? It had to be an almost-kiss. Why else would he have gotten so close to her lips?

And there he had backed away from her and told her to retreat. Retreat from what exactly? Then he had acted like it was all about their little battle. Ironically, their battle of the wills.

And maybe that wasn't so bad, maybe he was just completely unaware of her sudden attraction to him–wait _attraction?_ Oh it was useless. She knew she was attracted to him, and not just in the lust 'he's McSteamy' way. Anyway, what she had a problem with was that he hadn't sensed her tone, sensed that she was mad at something that he could maybe fix.

Fix? No, that term was too methodical, too 'I'm a broken woman, therefore a man must piece me back together' a la Meredith and Derek. What Mark could have done is at least ask her what the hell was wrong, why she hadn't been able to form a word once he backed his lips away from her. Then again, that could be asking too much of him as they had been "friends" for less than a month. Not only that, but he seemed very much dedicated to his pact with Addison.

Addison. Dammit. Izzie respected Dr. Montgomery, despite her initial prejudice toward the ex-she Shepard. And she respected Mark. However, she was now attracted to Mark. But attracted enough to confront him? Enough to ask him to break his pact? Enough to make more enemies?

Oy. Here she was again, mentally debating herself over a guy with her very thoughts contradiction herself and making no sense whatsoever. So she tried to simplify it.

Attraction means having an interest towards something (in this case someone), or liking something. It also means drawing closer to someone–by exerting a force. She was drawn to Mark, and she liked certain qualities of his, and he did interest her. As for the like, well that is synonymous with crush, so maybe that was it. _Maybe Mark is just a crush_, she thought. _Yeah, a crush._

_I was drifting away  
like a drop in the ocean_

**GAGAGAGAGA**

"Here are the charts you asked for," Alex said, handing the documents to Addison.

"What? Oh, yeah," she cleared her throat and took them clumsily.

They stood in the abandoned nurses station, a tension encompassing the room, making each sexually-charged individual tense.

"You need anything else Dr. Montgomery?"

She had taken the charts without a single glance at him, and had thought he had retreated. But there he spoke again, letting her know he still stood close to her.

"Uh, no. That's all. You can go home Karev."

Her words were short, measured almost. He noticed her refusal to acknowledge him, to look at him even.

"You alright Dr. Montgomery?" His tone was soft, one of concern. She wasn't facing him, but she knew with his words came his concerned expression. His frows slightly burrowed, his head tilted downwards, as though he was inspecting a child, and his eyes cutting through her back, tempting her to turn around.

"Perfect," she exhaled. She turned around slowly, slapping on the facade of 'perfect' and meeting his eyes to let him know she was "alright."

"You sure?" he asked with the same tone, not believing her tight smile or words.

"Of course," she took the glasses off of her eyes and tried her best to smile," couldn't be better."

She stepped to move past him, but he blocked her.

"Never knew you were such a bad liar," he smirked, hoping to lighten the mood. She however, was not up for such a childish act.

She sighed and ran a hand through her long, red hair.

"What do you want Karev?" she placed one hand on her hip and tapped her foot impatiently.

He crossed his arms and gave her a stern look. "Nothing," he shrugged, glancing at the floor then cutting to her eyes," except maybe the truth."

"What?" she asked in disbelief of his hypocrisy.

"Look, I'm not asking a who, what, or why. I'm just asking if you're alright. Don't say you're perfect when you're not, okay."

"Do you have a point Karev?"

"You walk around here, pretending to be fine, to have moved on and be living. But you're not fine–something's bothering you. You don't have to tell anyone your life story, but don't be acting, and don't do stupid things that you'll regret."

"I've had enough Karev. Have a nice night," she swept past him, their elbows hitting each other and he took this moment to grab her, and each received chills down each's spines. They both knew that she, as well as he, were pretending.

She stopped momentarily, relishing his touch, biting her lip. Then she tried yanking free, but found he was as strong as he looked. Side by side, with her back turned, Alex turned his head to her face.

"You're a smart woman, and you're my superior. You should know better than give a man who doesn't deserve you a second chance," he whispered. With that last word, he released her arm and walked away swiftly, not allowing her an opportunity to question him

She was stunned. He knew: why else would he mention giving a man a second chance? She pondered how he knew, or better yet, who told him. Supposedly no one but she and Mark knew. Well, Callie knew but that was because she was her confidante.

_Confidante_. _Huh, he told Izzie,_ Addison chuckled bitterly. Mark never was one to confide in a person, not even her. But it made sense; Mark would not tell Alex unless he knew of her attraction to the intern, which (according to her) he didn't know, but if he told Izzie she would surely tell Alex. She would actually tell her little group of friends, which meant the beans had been spilled. If the rest of the hospital didn't already know of their pact, it would only be a matter of time before the vows of celibacy on behalf of Mark and Addison were known to the occupants of Seattle Grace Hospital.

* * *

_Next Day_

Rubbing his eyes, he seriously felt like punching something. Whoever had told Addison that he had told Izzie about the pact primarily. Addison however, had said that no one told her, that she had figured from a conversation she had overheard. It was a good explanation, as Addison had a way of deciphering things. He was just bothered that Addison knew, because it had created conflict.

Not that that was bad. Addison had seemed flustered, jealous. Asking how Izzie knew, and why he felt compelled to tell her. Then she went off asking why he was confiding in her, when his bouts of honesty were often kept under the lid.

On the other hand, she began thinking he and Izzie had a thing, that he didn't intend on keeping his end of the pact. It showed that Addison still didn't trust him, didn't believe in him.

Shaking his hair, he decided repeating the conversation in his head was useless. Things would work themselves out. He was actually more concerned about Izzie's sudden disregard for him. She was hardly speaking to him, and whenever he spoke she would just nod along. She also seemed to be zoning out. He kept catching her biting the tip of her pencil and looking out into space. And when he asked what was up, she wouldn't ramble incessantly.

"Stevens, you have a moment?" he pulled her aside after her rounds with him.

"Uh, yeah, sure," she answered, caught off guard.

They stepped outside the last patient's room. Mark leaned against the door and tried catching Izzie's gaze, which was currently averting his.

Biting her lip, she swept her hand casually through her hair and asked," What's up?"

"That's what I'd like to know," he said sternly, but not roughly.

"What do you mean?" she asked, bringing her eyes up to him. Looking at him, she saw the concern in his eyes, and how he was searching her eyes.

"You've been distracted all day," he said, locking his eyes with her.

"Oh, that," she exhaled softly, smiling tightly.

"Yes, that," he encouraged her to keep speaking.

"I'm just...having an off day," she shrugged him off.

He sensed she wasn't being entirely truthful, but if she was going to shrug him of, then he might as well do the same. After all, why should he be so concerned about her? He had other things, other people to be more concerned about.

"Alright," he said. He straightened his posture, offered her a smile and walked away. Much to her dismay, he didn't push on to find out what was really bothering her.

_Every time I drift away  
I lose myself in you_

**GAGAGAGAGA**

"Hey, Alex?" Izzie spoke.

They were in their living room, Izzie eating some ice cream and Alex flipping through the channels on the television set.

"Yeah?" he answered, not completely aware of his surroundings.

"You remember when Joey liked Rachel but didn't do anything cuz he didn't want to hurt Ross, and so Joey got all depressed but thought it was worth it so he wouldn't lose his friendship with Ross?"

That sure got his attention.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he turned abruptly to her.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "_Friends_. Duh," she said expecting him to know.

"What friends?" he furrowed his brows.

"The show _Friends_! As in Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Pheobe hanging out at Central Perk in New York City, _Friends_!" she stuck some more ice cream in her mouth.

"Are you okay Iz?" he asked, still confused.

"Okay, seriously have you not heard of the show _Friends_?!"

"Oh...," he said, understanding her,"what about it?"

She exhaled and said," never mind."

"Nah, come on. You wanna talk, I'm here." He flipped the television off and turned his body to her to prove he would listen.

"Alright, well like I was saying, Joey liked the girl Rachel, but he never acted on it because of his friendship with Ross," she put her ice cream aside to speak with him.

"Well, why would Ross care?" he crossed his arms and furrowed his brows.

"Because he fathered her child and they had gone out for like three years," she rolled her eyes in disbelief. Honestly, who wasn't remotely informed of the sitcom?

"Well sure, that makes sense," he mumbled sarcastically, "but go on."

"That's it," she said falling back on the couch.

"What's it?" he said, now more perplexed.

"Was he right to sacrifice what may have been his only meaningful relationship for the sake of another person?"

"What's this really about, Iz?"

She covered her face with her hands and rubbed her eyes. "I don't know," she muttered. Letting out another sigh, she paused and he let her take a moment of silence.

After a few seconds, she sat up again.

"Just, was it right?" she asked him.

"I don't know?" he shrugged," it depends."

"On what?" her voice reached a higher pitch.

"I'm not sure Iz. I–I, well when you stopped showing interest in me cuz of..." he was hesitant to mention her dead fiancee.

"Denny?" she finished for him.

That was strange. She seemed unaffected by his mention, as though she had accepted and moved on.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat," I actually tried pushing him away Iz."

"About that..." she began.

"Let's not get off subject," he stopped her.

"Fine," she crossed her arms," so what then?"

"Well, he wouldn't let off, and you clearly liked the guy. So I backed off–"

"You were pushed off," Izzie corrected him.

"The point is," he continued," that I accepted that you'd be happy with him."

"And when you gave up the fight, did it feel good?"

"It felt like crap, but I got over it–eventually," he added remembering their awkward kiss in the stairwell.

"Anyway," he sighed," in the end, us not working out was for the best. But in other cases, it's not. When you know someone," he paused.

His eyes went to the floor, and he seemed to be contemplating something," when you know that someone you really care about is going to make a big mistake by choosing someone else, then maybe you shouldn't sacrifice."

"When they're worth it?" she offered, as he seemed to be having a difficulty explaining it.

"Yeah..." he said, still staring aimlessly at the carpet.

"How do you know if someone is worth sacrificing for?" she asked, falling back onto the couch again.

"Is this about George?" he asked, pushing his dilemma aside as his curiosity over.

"What?!" she yelped. "Oh God no," she began laughing," no, that was never anything.

"Then who the hell is this about?"

She bit her lip, hesitant to answer. "It's...just a hypothetical situation," she answered in a way too contrived to sound honest.

"Iz..." he warned her, as he knew her better than she thought he did.

She remained silent. If Alex found out...God, it wasn't like she was head over heels in love with Mark, so really what was the harm.

_The harm is saying it makes it even more real._

She buried her face in her hands. She felt she was making things way too complicated over a simple crush. A crush that made her laugh, made her feel like her old self, made her feel human. A crush that didn't judge her for her past mistakes, but rather how she made up for them. A crush that was amazingly good-looking.

And if it was for her, he would have gone all the way. He would have bent his head an inch or so more, and he would close his eyes, waiting for her to meet him the rest of the way. Their lips would have met softly, touching tenderly, treading carefully. She was sure his touch would snap her eyes shut, and he would take the initiative to take her upper lip into his mouth. His mouth would suck on it, nibbling, and the tenderness that went into it would make it amazingly heated. She would suck his lower lip, and quickly they would be engulfed. His tongue would trace over her lips, and with no desire of resisting his passion, she would allow entrance. Their tongues would meet, and electricity would run through their bodies.

Stunned for a second, they relish it for another. Then hurriedly their tongues melt, fuse together, and they're fighting to feel the other's power. His hands burn her skin as he pushes them up her shirt. Her hands burn his skin as she grabs a tighter hold of his neck. They slow down. This isn't about sex. No, he pulls back from her lips reluctantly, and sucks on her lower lip, and finally brings his gaze to hers. His blue, deep, ocean-like eyes interlock with her brown, chocolate-like eyes. She tilts her head up and pecks the tip of his nose, garnering one of those shit-eating grins from him, and now–now they've been too long with their own air, and they need to be fused together again. She captures his lips, and further up his hands go, and further down her hands go. And against her stomach she feels–

"Sloan!" Alex interrupts her daydream.

Snapped from her daydream of her and Mark, she's furious. "What?!" she sits up quickly.

"It's Sloan! You like someone that you can't be with because of someone else! Of all the guys we know, he's the only one that makes sense," he said, explaining how he figured it out.

"Who–who said you knew him, and why would no one else make sense?" she chuckled nervously.

"Come on Iz. We have no life outside of this hospital. As for the other doctors, including me, you just aren't interested in them. But Sloan, you're always with him, you always defend him, and he has a thing for Addison, whom you respect."

"Whatever Alex, you don't know what you're talking about," she shrugged, trying to play him off.

"Then who were you thinking about right now," he smirked. She widened her eyes–could he read her mind?

"Yeah, I saw you with that goofy grin, daydreaming. Just the way you grin when you're with Sloan," he smirked.

"Oh fuck you Alex," she stood up and began walking away.

Suddenly he widened his eyes. He was playing around–he didn't honestly think it was Mark she had a thing for, but her abrupt anger showed he hit the spot.

"Iz, wait!" he stood up as well and followed behind her.

"What?" she turned on her heel and faced him.

"I was just kidding, but...whoa. Look," he put his hands on her shoulders," Mark Sloan isn't the kinda person that's worth it. So don't get caught up, kay? You'll get over him–it's just a crush."

He sounded sure, and in a way it was comforting to have someone else believe Mark was just a crush. However, when she had gotten furious when Alex mentioned Sloan being the guy, it wasn't because he had supposedly figured it out. It was because she was having the perfect vision of them kissing, and that made her see that made her fear this was so much more than a crush.

_Love took me by the hand  
Love took me by surprise_

A/N: So you were anticipating the McStizzie action, but I took that from you...If you do want it eventually, though, you're going to have to rant–I mean review and tell me what ya'll think. Ya know, besides the obvious fact that McSteamy if freakin' gorgeous. Anyway, **Please Review**...


	10. Hanging By A Moment

**ENJOY...**

"Hanging By A Moment"

There was that grand possibility that he was overreacting, that he was only having an onslaught of preoccupation due to Addison's constant, blatant dismissal of him. Add on Izzie's refusal to meet so much as his gaze and a guy's frustration could really reach a boiling point. Therefore, for the first time in that week, Mark Sloan did not catch Addison Montgomery off guard and whisper in her ear "21 more days, Addie." For there were only 21 days left in that ill-rotten pact. However, today his frustration had, as a matter of fact, reached its boiling point.

Now, never mind the fact that he refused to acknowledge Isobel Stevens as a friend (much less divulging that those lunch outings had become, quite possibly, the highlights of his days). And forget that he had a knack for offending and driving the young intern up the wall, just as she did he. Simply put, Mark had to forget that he should really care less as to what Izzie's occupations not involving him were. He actually should be more concerned about the preoccupations of the red-head he was so naively chasing, because he was obviously the last thing on her mind. But Mark Sloan was not very aware of that little detail, as his concerns right now entailed not chasing tails, but rather tracking down that pest of an intern who had forced herself into his life (or had he invited her?).

O'Malley had been his intern for a few days now, as Bailey wanted to "rotate" the interns every once in a while. The days before that, Izzie had slowly crawled out from his life (not that he exactly had one) and ceased any efforts to be his company. Now O'Malley had gotten on his nerves, what with his mumbling and stuttering. And above all, his self-righteousness that derived from his "humble" pretentiousness. Who was that guy kidding? He was not made to be a doctor, much less a beautiful woman's lover.

Ugh. There was an image that could be inscribed as the reason for suicide. He didn't know how Izzie had put herself so down over such an undeserving "friend."

But again, he shouldn't be very concerned for her. She was just an intern, right?

Mark stopped in his steps—which had been hurried and careless. Why was he being so hot-headed about this? He wasn't a watch-dog, much less Izzie's bodyguard to handle and be aware of her whereabouts 24/7. The woman could do as she pleased.

"Dr. Sloan?" a meek voice came before him.

Breaking him out of his reverie, Mark shook his head and looked sternly to the woman who had made herself known in such an apologetically annoying way.

"Yes, Dr. Grey?" he sighed as he began walking again (aimlessly as well).

"Uh, well…" she paused to jog to catch up with him. Catching up with him, she walked in front of him and looked from him to the floor.

"I was wondering if you knew where Izzie was?" Meredith continued.

"Yes, well that's the current universal question," he answered her, walking past her and making a sharp turn.

Confused, Meredith paused but continued on his path.

"Wait, so you don't know where she is?"

Mark deflated, stopped, and turned to her abruptly. "Do you interns ever listen?"

"I thought you two ate together, ya know like 'friends," she used the air quotes and smirked.

Mark, already irked by her whimsical tone of voice, rolled his eyes and said," I haven't eaten with her for days. That answer your question?"

Meredith put a finger to her mouth and began biting at her nail. She ran a hand through her hair, and with the impatient Mark already prepared to take a step away from her to lose her, she spoke. "She hasn't been having lunch with us either," she met Mark's unimpressed gaze," us being Cristina and me." She grinned, but frowned when she saw Mark's blatant disinterest (or rather feigned disinterest).

"So she's not with you, she's not with me, who knows, maybe that blond does have a life outside this hospital." Mark turned, but this time walked slowly. This made it easier for Meredith to follow, and she did, but now behind him.

"And you're not a bit interested as to with whom she is eating?" Meredith shrugged," oh, or maybe she has a secret boyfriend." She tiptoed, trying to catch his reaction, but unsuccessful.

He didn't answer her, and instead started to speed up.

"I mean seriously, she doesn't even bother to tell us where she is at, and she's nowhere in sight—" she paused and widened her eyes. "Whoops," she stopped and crossed her arms," guess I spoke a bit too soon." She grinned and looked to Mark, who had also stopped dead in his tracks. She looked at his expression, which was surprised to say the least.

He remained silent, which didn't suit Meredith, so she continued. "But not on the boyfriend front; guess they've decided to go at it again," she grinned and nodded her head, more enthralled for the bit of information than her friend's supposed new boyfriend—scratch that—new old boyfriend.

"Again?" Mark said as he looked into the room which held quite a disturbing picture.

Mark looked into the room, which, if he remembered correctly, was occupied by the Jane Doe who was currently being called Ava. But he didn't see her in there, rather he saw Izzie sitting in an armchair holding a baby in her arms. She cradled her softly, looking genuinely happy. However, kneeled right before, cooing at the baby and looking between the baby and Izzie, was Alex. Izzie grinned as she gazed from the baby to Alex, as all three seemed entranced by one another.

Now, that boiling point thing? That was theoretical, really, just some random comparison that had run through Mark's brain. However, for some reason or another, that boiling point thing, that boiling of the blood that occurred arbitrarily, was very surreally creeping up on Mark right now.

"You have heard that Iz and Alex used to have a thing, ya know before Denny?" he heard Meredith's voice behind him.

Not that he hadn't know, but in this hospital he didn't know who to believe, who to trust.

"I heard," she heard him answer in a grumble.

"Well, then," she steeped in front of Mark," I guess we better leave the lovebirds alone." She shrugged, smirking to Mark whose attention was focused on the "couple" in the room ahead.

As her words reached his ears, he cut his eyes to hers, informing her this was no "shrugging" matter.

"Or not, whatever," she shrugged again," we are working." Meredith's gaze fell to the floor, and then she looked to Mark's cutting gaze again. Knowing she had spoken enough out of turn, she smiled tightly to him and finally left, with one last glance into the room that Izzie, Alex, and the baby had made themselves so cozy in.

**

* * *

**

In her arms, she held a piece of innocence that swept her into a place of calm—maybe not serenity, but at least calm. The days before had been…different, almost incomplete. She did not feel empty though—at least not yet. Not like the weeks before, when she had put herself in the ninth realm of hell, ya' know, the place you go when you hurt the people you love, no matter how unintentional it might be. But it wasn't like the emptiness she had felt the months before, when she had hurt one of the people she loved most, who loved her most. Who had left his life in her hands.

These not-so-empties, different days however brought about an unusual daze. Almost as if she didn't have the right to feel…well, what she was feeling.

She had begun the week as she usually would, with the rounds, then going to be Mark's intern—and then it wasn't normal. She had awoken the night after Alex's (and her's) realization of her "crush" and decided F- it. She didn't give a shit about a Mark, and if anything, it was this little girl-school crush that every girl got over the hottest guy (to explain her feelings pre-maturely). And with the rounds she had put her plan, if you can call it that, into action.

Only to fail miserably from the moment she reported to him as his intern.

He met her with his unmistakable grin. His teeth perfectly aligned, lips perched, right eyebrow slightly cocked, and steely-blue eyes inspecting her facial expressions carefully (for few knew that's what he did when he grinned—he inspected the people before him, as a way of reading them without their knowing).

He leaned on the patient's monitor without crushing it over, his hands overlaying each other, and his feet crossed.

It was something many women who had known Mark over years had learned to be immune to. Izzie hadn't had such a problem with ignoring it from the beginning, but gradually, over the past couple weeks, his cocky little stance was something she had looked forward to seeing. And today, she had completely forgotten to take it into consideration. But now, it overtook her seeing sense. His smell intoxicated her smelling one. His voice, as he greeted her, awoke her listening sense.

Then he introduced her to the patient, asking her quick, short, difficult questions she bumbled to answer, which he ignored, because as always, his mind seemed to be on something else. Then they left the room, and he asked her something about Addison. And all of this—all of it—it just reminded her that to touch was a privilege, and when it came to him, it might as well be impossible. Because when he touched her it was either unintentional or accidental, it was either quickly or just to show her something, and so touch was a sense prohibited.

And so she shook her head, to remember that this baby she held in her arms was the epitome of peace. That there were far more important things in life than pondering if love actually filled such a battered soul.

She took the child's small, fragile hand--or maybe it was the child that took her large finger, and grasped it tightly. A smile formed on Izzie's face, as the baby reminded her of when she held her own child in her arms at that age. An age far too naive to appreciate the grasp of a tiny figure. But the emotion that swept her then, lingered now in this new baby's hand.

It was not difficult to forget the troublesome feelings in Izzie in the presence of this baby, just as Mark's voice was quite unmistakable as well.

"What a pretty family the three of you paint," came his sarcastic remark, "probably the reason you've decided to ditch work, right Dr. Stevens?"

That statement alone should have made her fume–who was he to judge her, and why was he such an ass about everything? But instead nerves bubbled to the surface, making her mouth go dry, and butterflies to flutter as she felt his gaze on her.

"She came in, to check on Ava and her baby," Alex stood up quickly and jumped to her defense.

"So now your boyfriend speaks on your behalf," Mark ignored Alex and spoke to Izzie.

"Wh--?" she began.

"Huh, boyfriend,"Alex snorted under his breath.

"Care to speak more clearly Karev," Mark came at him.

"I'm not–" Alex began to answer him.

"I need you for a second, Stevens," Mark interrupted him. He turned his body and began walking to the door. Noticing that no set of footsteps resounded behind him, he said rather coldly "Now Stevens."

Izzie stood, carefully, with the baby still in her arms. She handed the child over to Alex, who gave her a glance of 'be careful' followed by a small nod by Izzie. Taking a deep breath, she quickly made her footsteps known and followed the obviously ticked off attending.

He stopped right outside the door, abruptly enough to catch her off guard and force her to be mere inches from her.

"What's going on with you Stevens," he said, leaving not a second of silence.

"I'm just..." she searched for an answer.

"Having an off week?" he offered mockingly, not wanting her to make any excuses.

"Maybe," she said, crossing her arms, getting irritated by his accusatory behavior.

"Now that's a witty comeback," he said sardonically.

"What is so important that you had to drag me out of there," she said after taking another breath of air.

"Finishing a conversation you always seem to put off."

"Well, that's specific," she rolled her eyes. Although she had an idea of the subject, as tried a few times to talk to her about something concerning Addison.

Focusing in on her, Mark drew his head closer to hers, squinted his left eye a bit and whispered, "Someone told Addison that I informed you of the pact. How did that happen?"

She gulped, his face being so near hers, and his voice so demanding. She drew her head back a bit, and tried, but failed, to meet his eyes without glancing away so feverishly.

"I–I, it wasn't me," she was able to breathe out.

He studied her face, noted her usually strong demeanor to be a bit shaken currently, but he determined she wasn't lying. Izzie once told him she was never a good liar, and therefore didn't do it much. So he drew back and crossed his arms, preparing to question her a bit more.

"Then who?"

"I don't know," she nodded her head. She had only told Alex, and there just wasn't a clear reason why Alex would tell Addison, so then who else knew?

"Perhaps your little boyfriend," he muttered.

That made her laugh a bit. "He is not my boyfriend," she rolled her eyes.

"Either way, it was him," Mark stated. Uncrossing his arms, he looked to the patient's door, stood up straight, and began heading back in for a very unprofessional confrontation.

Widening her eyes, Izzie turned swiftly and caught his arm.

"Where the hell do you think you're going!" she whispered harshly.

Pulling his arm free, he just smirked, with a mischievous glint in his eyes and kept on his way.

She followed, hoping this confrontation would be quiet, simple, and, well, verbal.

Seeing Mark enter the room again, Alex glanced to Ava who was now in the room as well.

"Oh great, now what," Alex complained, handing the baby back to her mother.

"Hi Dr. Sloan," Ava grinned.

"Hello Ava, how have you been?" he said politely.

"Great," she answered.

"Good," he smiled, "I'll be gone quickly, I'm just going to have a quick word with Dr. Karev here."

Alex glared, Izzie worried, and Ava...well, she had been anticipating a good seminar of confessions between Alex and Sloan, so she just grinned sheepishly at the good ol' attending.

Mark turned his gaze back onto Alex, converting his smile into a glare similar to that of Alex's.

"Karev," Mark looked at him dead in the eyes.

"Dr. Sloan," Alex returned the acknowledgment.

"May I ask what you are doing, meddling into Addison's affairs?"

"Last I checked, she wasn't the one with the affairs," Alex quipped daringly.

"Guys, wouldn't this best be settled outside–you know, away from the patients," Izzie put in her two cents.

"Is any of this your business?" Mark went on.

"Yeah!" Izzie yelled.

Mark turned to her. "I wasn't speaking to you Stevens."

"You might as well be!" she said, trying to make herself part of the conversation.

"You're right. After all, you were the one who blabbed to Karev!" Mark responded.

"Hey, that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't gotten her drunk!" Alex jumped in.

"I didn't do anything to her!" Mark screamed to Alex.

"Well you sure weren't discouraging her!"

The baby had already begun to fumble, and now it was crying, although nobody but Ava seemed to notice the baby's cries.

"I'm not anyone to be telling her what or what not to do!"

"But you can burden her with your problems!"

"I can speak for myself!!!" Izzie screamed above the two, causing the two men to shut up.

The room would have been quiet, were it not for the child who could not be comforted. The screams had ceased, but the tense atmosphere hadn't, therefore no comforting could be done in the room.

"See what you've done," Izzie hissed, "Dammit, you could be doing this anywhere in this god-forsaken hospital. There are a dozen closets, and a very large stairwell. Or better yet, you could not be doing this at all." With her piece said, she turned on her heel and left the room.

"Dude, look what you did to Iz," Alex said and quickly followed Izzie.

Inhaling deeply, and letting out a big breath of air, Mark turned to Ava, apologized, and followed the two interns.

This felt strangely familiar–following the interns–for some reason. Oh yeah, because in the past month he had already done it twice.

And once again, Mark Sloan was quickly on Isobel's trail, just to figure out what more in the world could possibly cause her to run off and hide.

**GAGAGAGAGAGA**

"I'm not going to hide," Izzie said.

"Then what are you looking for?" Alex said as he tried to keep up with her pace.

"Not what..." she answered as she stopped suddenly. Cutting her eyes across the nurses station, she finished, "who," She smirked to Alex, who just spied the person she was looking for.

"Her?" he questioned her.

"Yup," she said, making her way to the redhead.

"Why?" Alex followed.

"We need all parties involved to resolve this."

"I don't think it's necessary to include her in this, though."

"She's already involved," she rolled her eyes and turned to him, "and why don't you want to make her a part of this. And, _were_ you the one who told her?"

Looking away, he shrugged.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes again and kept onto Addison's path," you'll just have to answer that with everything else." She pulled his hand, and they quickly arrived to Addison.

Close behind, Mark grumbled beneath his breath and chuckled bitterly when he saw Alex and Izzie approach Addison. This just kept getting better.

"Doctor Montgomery?" Izzie said to her.

Removing her eyeglasses, she glanced up slowly. "Yes Dr. Stevens?" she looked at her expectantly when she noticed Alex standing behind her, almost as though he was trying to hide.

"We need to talk to you," Izzie gathered her courage.

"Unless it's urgent, I don't have the time right now, so..."

"It's not–" Alex started.

Elbowing him, Izzie said, "It's urgent."

"No, it is not," Mark said behind her.

She rolled her eyes. How come men would never cooperate with her?

"Alright then, what is it Stevens?" Addison smirked at her. She knew better than to believe Mark over a woman who came to her with a problem. That and she loved any and every chance to rebel against Mark.

Izzie smirked back at her and said," _It _is a issue concerning these two doctors standing behind me."

"Very well then, why don't we take this to my office?" she turned on her heel, not waiting for a response.

Izzie turned to the men, glanced at them, and pulled Alex along behind Addison. She knew Mark would follow–how else was he going to defend himself?

**

* * *

**

Alex didn't want to do this. He told Addison, and now it seemed like the world was out to get him. Why was Izzie so intent on including Addison in this. And exactly what was going to be resolved? As a matter of fact, none of this made sense.

Sloan found out that he told Addison that Izzie knew about the pact because of Mark, which led to Izzie telling him of the pact. It was that simple. If there was any resolving to be done, he need not be part of it. If Addison had a problem with Sloan telling Izzie of a silly pact, that was her prerogative. She could resolve that with Sloan, from thereon Sloan could resolve things with Izzie, and then Izzie with him (Alex).

**GAGAGAGAGAGA**

Mark felt like this entire situation was getting out of hand. A simple sparring of words lead to a hard-headed woman involving another hard-headed woman. And he blamed the interns, because apparently their way of solving things was by over complicating things.

What was the point of talking things over anyway. Words were so calculated, futile, and unexpressive. He'd rather get down and dirty, rather "fix things" by actually doing something. Honestly, if words were so powerful he would have had Addison long ago, when he told her he loved her. But she brushed the words off. An "I love you" had proven insufficient, so how would a conversation between four people be of any help in a situation that was surely simple enough to straighten out with a couple of actions?

**GAGAGAGAGAGA**

Addison Montgomery knew better. She did. The moment she saw Dr. Stevens staring at her, with Alex cowering behind her, she knew this was a disaster waiting to happen. Perhaps it was the desperation in the young doctor's eyes, that of nothing making sense, of utter confusion wanting to be rectified. But exactly what this confusion going on was anybody's guess. Probably that was the reason for which Stevens was being accompanied by one embarrassed looking doctor, and another frustrated looking one.

So Stevens told her there was an issue concerning the two men, but Addison knew the issue must also concern Stevens. And herself. Nevertheless, she agreed to speak with the...group (honestly, how was she to refer them as?).

Despite the clarity of this matter being dangerously humiliating and disastrous, Addison complied with the intern because her instinct told her to. Now instinct wasn't something Addison Forbes Montgomery usually went with. In fact, the few times she had gone with it, things had gone awfully awry. She actually blamed these instincts for leading her on the path of both marriage and divorce. Then again, her instincts had given her a couple thrills here and there, and ultimately, freedom.

Therefore, she imagined the different scenarios that could play out in her office: screams, revelations, broken bonds, renewed fears, and maybe logic could make things click. Or maybe, she was getting ahead of herself and this could be a simple misunderstanding concerning medicine amongst hard-headed doctors.

Hah! This was Seattle Grace Hospital. No way was it that simple.

So she played out the scenarios, the direction this could all go in, in her mind, and from those possibilities, concocted a few 'solutions.' And if things went in a completely unforseen direction, she decided she would rely on her instincts. After all, this did not appear as something superficial that could be resolved with a few words being thrown around. Whatever material facts the men seemed to know were obviously not what concerned Dr. Stevens. And that, as a woman, Addison could see clearly.

**GAGAGAGAGAGA**

Isobel Stevens was not always very good at hiding her feelings or intentions. Some would tell her she wore her heart on her sleeve, but sometimes, she needed to be strong. And anyone who knew Isobel Stevens knew that she could be strong, incredibly strong, when it was necessary. Such was the case now. She had lost her front for a second with Dr. Montgomery, who had seen her eyes quiver a bit when she spoke to her. But she quickly built up he armor again, so that Dr. Montgomery could take her seriously enough to listen to her.

Izzie did respect Addison. She had been through a lot, some of it of her own making, but nevertheless Dr. Montgomery had surfaced as a strong, independent woman. The pact however did defer some respect from Addison, as it seemed childish. But as a woman, Izzie sort of comprehended why another woman would make such a pact with a man. Because at the end of the day, after all the tragedies, and all the contradicting stories, every woman still believed that the right man would be their Prince Charming.

So now, Izzie had to be strong. This was a simple quandary, if one looked at it objectively.

Person A had made a vow with Person B. This vow was between the two of them, with an understanding that neither of them would tell anyone else. Then Person B had told a Person C, however accidental it may have been, he had spilled the beans. Then, as life goes, Person C had gone and told another, Person D. This 'spilling of the beans' had reached the ears of Person A, courtesy of Person D, and Person A had rightfully gotten angry and scolded Person B. Person B then went to the person he had told, Person C, but then cut a corner and went to confront Person D, as Person B assumed the tearing at the seams occurred _courtesy_ of Person D.

Yeah, it was that simple.

But Izzie wasn't looking at this objectively. She was person C. And Person C had slowly, gradually been falling for the 'charm' of Person B. Being a friend of Person B, an internal conflict emerged and so she gradually departed from the familiar talks between her and Person B. But he had other intentions and kept trying to talk to her, and when he found out that Person A learned of their confidentiality, Person B went a little crazy. Now she, Person C, was going a little crazy. She knew Person A must be feeling a little insecure to bring her concern to Person B's attention.(You're not lost there yet, right?)

Then there was the whole Person D thing. It was pretty obvious now that he had ratted this out to Person A, but with what intentions? Things went far deeper than what this whole thing appeared like exteriorly. And so Izzie intended for things to be resolved, but she went in with her armor, because she had no intention of spilling her feelings out on the platform.

_

* * *

_

_A/N: I been gone for a minute, but now I'm back...Okay never mind, I am not Dave Chappelle to disappear on you like that. And I do have a few legitimate excuses, however..._

I still feel guilty and you readers still had no updates. But I never gave up on this story, and I never will.

I had been working on this chappike for a while, as I had to decide which bridge to build to take this story into its next phase. Now, the next phase is the part of the story I've had in my head since I started. So hold on people--I'll give ya an update as soon as I can...

**Please Review...**


	11. Through The Dark

"Through the Dark" (KT Tunstall)

It was a silent walk. With a lot of staring involved.

Dr. Addison was the first in line, with her head high, an air of pretension about her. Her heels clicked on the marble surface of the hospital floors, signaling anyone and everyone to make way for her—and the three doctors who were (curiously) following her.

Then came Dr. Isobel Stevens, with Dr. Alex Karev only a slight couple of steps behind her. her arms swung at her side, whilst she flexed her hands, and bit her bottom lip at the anxiety building up in her.

Dr. Karev was almost beside Dr. Stevens, and every time her shoulder hit his, he would shoot her a look. However, she was much too concentrated on God-know-what to notice his shots. He kept eyeing the red wavering hair that walked before him, then he'd eye her form, then quickly to those who stared at them in curiosity. Digging his eyebrows in, and sticking his hands in his coat, he looked back ahead of him and cursed to himself. He hated gossip, but not as much as being the gossip.

Dr. Mark Sloan walked the furthest behind all three, wanting to keep as much distance from the doctors and himself as possible. Looking straight ahead, past the interns, past Addison, looking only to the destination. His arms swung at his side, his steps slow, measured, although still in stride as he was very much aware of the stares. He knew how strange it must look for four doctors to all be walking in a singular direction that did not head towards a patient.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

They finally arrived at her office.

Addison took out her key and opened the door slowly. She stood in front of it, using her heel as leverage so the others could enter before her. Izzie made her way through the door first. She gave Addison a wide grin, that nervous one that came with her eyes shifting from left to right. Addison offered Izzie a small smile, along with a pat on the shoulder. She leaned in a bit, and through her teeth, whispered, "Don't worry Stevens, I can handle them."

Izzie chuckled a nervous laugh and exhaled deeply, looking at the floor and nodded her head. She smoothed her hair bak, smiled again and went inside. Addison chuckled to herself. What on Earth could have that intern so damn nervous?

Then Alex approached the door quietly. Pausing before going in, he turned his head to Addison. "I'm getting a bad vibe," he muttered to her, so Izzie and Sloan wouldn't hear him.

Cocking her head slightly, she bit her lip and muttered back " I'm pretty sure your 'vibe' will be just fine when this is all done and over with," she mocked him condescendingly.

Rolling his eyes, Alex responded, "You have that look you get when you have something up your sleeve, Addison."

"You don't know me well enough to know my looks Karev," she continued in her mocking tone, with a stern face.

He smirked, "Whatever it is you're thinking of doing– don't think I won't try to stop you," he winked and walked on, not allowing her a comeback response.

Addison quickly shut her mouth that was left agape and bit her bottom lip, as he so arrogantly walked away from her. Shifting her weight she watched Alex take a seat beside Stevens in the chairs in front of her desk. Thoughts were about to run amuck about Alex when she felt herself stumble back at the loss of support from the wooden door.

She turned her head swiftly and caught wind of what had occurred–Mark. She faced his arm, and so she turned her head only to be faced directly with Mark himself. He smirked as she nodded her head annoyance. He had pushed the door to the wall, to support himself only to catch her face to face.

"So Addison, exactly what am I to expect if I walk through this door?" he asked sadistically.

Standing upright, she inched closer. He watched her closely–Addison was quite the trickster, therefore he couldn't entirely trust her as she came oh-so-closely to him.

Addison cocked an eyebrow and ran her tongue over her teeth, before finally opening her mouth to say, "You won't know unless you walk through it," and she moved swiftly from the door, through the opening.

Grinning, he chuckled and finally let the door go as he made his way into her office.

Walking in, he noticed how Stevens and Karev had already seated themselves comfortably in front of Addison's desk, and how Addison had done the same in her swivel chair. He walked up quietly behind the interns, and finally stood in the center, legs spread, eye cocked, and arms crossed.

He stared directly at Addison, who looked at him expectantly.

"What?" he shrugged at her.

Addison rolled her eyes as Alex turned his head to glance at Mark. Izzie however, didn't move to look at Mark. Instead, her fingers tapped the armrests impatiently, as she stared at the wall in front of her.

Finally, Addison told Mark "Aren't you going to take a seat" as she waved to the (moveable) chairs on the opposite side of the wall.

"Actually," and he stood up straighter, "I'm fine right here." And he put one hand on Alex's chair, and the other on Izzie's, as he leaned forward, smirking at how his behavior irritated Addison.

She only answered a 'fine' however, and proceeded to clear her throat as she set her eyes on a mind-wandering Izzie Stevens.

"Dr. Stevens?" Addison said to snap the intern out of her reverie.

"Yeah?" Izzie shook her thoughts and shot her eyes up at the mention of her name.

Sighing, Addison leaned forward in her chair and interloped her fingers. Her hair fell to her face, and she pulled it aside as she tried conveying patience to the young woman who had insisted on bringing all four into a private area to speak.

"You brought us her for what you called an urgent matter," she drawled out slowly.

Izzie, immediately aware of all the eyes on her, gulped and laughed nervously. She nodded to Dr. Montgomery and gathered what she could of herself. She pulled her fingers into a fist, controlled her breathing, and thought of the most coherent thing she could think up at that moment.

"Um, well, first of all," she froze for a second—why did she bring them in here? Oh, right…Her eyes shifted from side to side as she continued, " I-I was the one who told Alex about the pact." She nodded her head and smiled tightly, looking to Addison for a reaction.

"I reasoned as much," she said without much surprise, or even anger.

"I told Dr. Stevens," Mark directed to Addison, seeing how Izzie was explaining how all had become involved.

"I reasoned that as well," her tone the same.

"And I sort of told Ad—" Alex cleared his throat," Dr. Montgomery." He tucked his legs below the chair and crossed his arms as he looked down at the floor.

"Yes, we all reasoned that, "Addison said smirking at Alex's reluctance to admit to this.

Alex chuckled and glanced at Addison's amusement.

"Good, well now that that's all cleared up," Mark said oblivious to Addison's and Alex's looks," why don't we all go on our way." He smiled and brought his hands off the chair, rubbing them together, anxious to escape any further conversation(s).

Izzie opened her mouth to protest, but found it incapable of speaking. Addison however found it fully capable of doing so and demanded him to stop.

"Mark, you, as well as I, know that something that simple would not warrant us all being here, isn't that correct Dr. Stevens?" Addison pushed Izzie to speak.

"Right" she found her voice. _Don't let your emotions get the best of you, and you'll be fine,_ she told herself. Nodding in reassurance, Izzie stood up.

"So then, what's the real issue at hand?" Addison asked Izzie.

The same gripe of fear Izzie had felt going in there was trying to get a hold of her, so she gripped the desk with a hand on bit back her underlying emotions, as she was telling herself she should. Slowly, she let the desk go and faced Addison.

"You were angry when you found out that Mark had told me of the pact," Izzie said in her lecturing voice.

"I wasn't thrilled," Addison shrugged.

"She was pissed," Mark said to Izzie.

"Alright," she leaned back in her chair, "but just momentarily."

"I wasn't judging you Addie," Mark looked to Addison, who only rolled her eyes at him.

Alex grinned, always happy to see the hostility Addison showed towards Mark. Izzie found no joke in Alex's grin however, and she swatted his shoulder. She didn't see how it could please someone for a person to be so cold towards another, how Addison treated Mark like unwanted leftovers when he hid his (mild) best to not butt heads with her. Wait, why was Alex enjoying this?

"And you," Izzie shot a glance to Alex.

"What?" Alex was caught off guard.

"You just went off and told her that we knew," she stepped closer to him as he racked his brain for explanations.

"Uh, well, yeah—didn't I say that already?" he raised his arms, as if being assaulted and trying to plead his innocence.

"And what in the hell drove you to that, Karev?!" Mark angrily demanded of Alex.

"I…" he avoided the gleam, not ready with a rational excuse.

"Wanted to be the goody-two-shoes intern, and go off and tell the attending?!"

Alex stood up, his temper rising to the same level as Mark.

"Hold on there!" Addison yelled, seeing where this could easily lead. She stood up, having been the last one sitting, and shot cold stares at the two men. "We are going to keep this as civil as possible."

Alex and Mark just rolled there eyes and distanced themselves from each other. The irrational anger in each, however, did not dissipate.

"It just got out," Alex fumed to Mark, "Sort of the way it got out to Izzie."

"That was different," Mark growled.

"Yeah, how?" Alex smirked, knowing he was only flaming Mark's temper.

"Okay guys, this is getting us nowhere," Izzie was getting frustrated at the childish bravados of Alex and Mark. Well, they certainly weren't complete opposites.

"Then why don't you tell where we're supposed to be getting, Dr. Stevens, " Mark mockingly asked her.

She glanced a look at his eyes and quickly put her mind to the issue she was trying to bring to the forefront.

"Dr. Montgomery was mad, and so was…Dr. Sloan," she looked at him again, noting his inch of withdrawnness at her calling him by his professional name, "because she found out that he told me. So the problem seems to be the fact that he told me this big confidential secret—in secret."

"I just wasn't too pleased at knowing that Mark had gone off and confided in a girl he barely seemed to know, "Addison stumbled a bit at her admission.

"So you were jealous, " Mark grinned.

This wasn't the direction Izzie had hoped this would go in, then again, what was she expecting. For Mark's non-existent light bulb to go off and realize the impotence of this pact, and for him to see that Addison didn't care half as much about him as he did her. For him to look at her, Izzie Stevens, and find a real friend, a friend he could possibly—wait, where was her armor. She needed to stay focused on reality. Because dreams were wrong, but reality, unfortunately, was real.

Alex wasn't liking the direction very much either. He cut his eyes to Addison, hoping she would scoff or laugh at his statement. She couldn't possibly be jealous.

"Not jealous. Just shockingly surprised that you, Mark Sloan, would be so quick to open up to a stranger when it took you 11 years to open up to me," straight-forwardly, Addison admitted.

Mark looked at her, trying to grasp whatever feeling she was portraying. Maybe it wasn't exactly jealousy, maybe a bit more envy than jealousy. But was it exactly his fault that he felt more compelled to be honest with Izzie than with Addie?

He didn't speak a word, and Izzie lifted her gaze to look at Mark. And there was the same pain she'd seen that night at the bar. If only she could give him that same comforting hold he had given her that (second) time in the supply closet

"Well, what's your excuse, Karev?" Addison spun the focus onto Alex.

He shrugged, more drained of patience than before after the brief exchange between Addison and Sloan. "I couldn't keep my mouth shut?" Alex mumbled. But Addison felt like there was more this than he was letting on, although she kept her mouth shut to avoid any inappropriate admissions.

"I've told you a lot of things Alex," Izzie spoke up, shifting her own focus from Mark to Alex, "and not one of those things has ever left your mouth—at least not willingly. But this time, you did let it out."

"Iz—"Alex began, rubbing his face in his hands.

"No, you may be a cocky, self-absorbed, rude person, but anyone who knows you knows that your like the crypt keeper when it comes to your friends secrets."

Mark looked at Alex curiously. The guy was never his favorite—okay, he hated his guts, but truthfully, he was the only who had stuck with Izzie after that whole mistress thing. So why would he go on and tell Addison?

"Yes, Dr. Karev, what exactly compelled you to tell me of Sr. Sloan's and Stevens' newfound confidentiality?" Addison may not have really wanted to know, but curiosity always won the fight.

"Fine," Alex grumbled, his eyes flitting from Addison to Sloan. "I just found it hard to believe that a respectable doctor would make such a stupid pact with a guy like him," Alex nodded in Mark's direction, which, to say the least, infuriated Mark.

"You son-of-a-bi—," Mark gritted his teeth and drew his fists.

"Mark!" Izzie scolded him, gripping his shoulder to put some more distance between himself and Alex.

Mark turned slightly to eye Izzie, whose eyes seemed to be on fire. He released his fist and let himself breathe out, because if he didn't he had no doubt Izzie would not only give her that disappointing glare, but also a major lecture beat-out.

Izzie was glad he calmed down, but still made her way around to be between Mark and Alex. Thereafter, she drew her eyes to Alex, who had seemed to have gotten the message as he had drawn back as well.

"Are men capable of conversing things out without a fistfight?" Addison muttered to herself, but nevertheless all eyes had traveled to her.

"Alright, so we have Dr. Montgomery's excuse, and mine. So Dr. Sloan, why were you yelling at Izzie?" Alex raised the question to prevent any further discussion on his true intentions.

"Because, it seems as though Dr. Stevens herself couldn't keep a secret," Mark defended himself.

"Yeah, but dude, it wasn't her fault it got to Addison," Alex defended Izzie.

"Yeah, it was yours," Mark retorted to him.

"So why take it out on Stevens?" Addison raised the question Mark seemed reluctant to answer.

Mark rolled his eyes and cut to Izzie. "She told Karev," he stated as her eyes had a difficult time staying on his.

"I was drunk, "Izzie mumbled.

"Yes, but nonetheless, you are to blame—"

"Wait," she flared her anger, "I do not have control over Alex. That mess was of his own doing! You can't just go and blame me for your problems!"

"You were the one who interjected herself into my life!" Mark spit back as the two began rumble.

"Oh please, "she scoffed as she rolled her eyes, "I did not. And if I did, it was only after you invited me to the bar, and way after you begged me to spill my 'woes' to you after that whole George thing!"

Their eyes locked, the intensity of tension and strong-will forcing each to charge the other irrationally of faults.

"Then I suppose it was my fault Alex was the only one who didn't hate you after that, making him your only gossip pal!"

Alex glanced to Addison as Mark and Izzie fought. She wore a smirk, one hand on her hip, the other resting on the desk. She noticed his glance and acknowledged him. She stood up and shifted her weight, crossed her arms, and smirked to Alex, and back to the stubborn doctors., who were in such close proximity, they could literally butt heads.

"And I suppose it's my fault you have absolutely no other friends!" Izzie continued screaming.

"Just like--!"

"Enough," Addison grumbled loud enough for the two to cease their 'war of words' and turn to her.

Izzie looked back, glancing up to Mark, her throat strained, her self-esteem a little hurt at his apparent dislike of her. Mark slowly drew his eyes back down, and he stepped a foot behind to give the furious blond some space. He was also furious, though, at having to try to explain something that he could find no answer for. He didn't hate Izzie, in fact he didn't even find her annoying, and above all, he didn't feel like she was some pest in his life. He just couldn't fathom how he could feel so much rage due to his apparent trust in Izzie, and lack thereof in Addison. And he felt angry at Izzie trusting Karev so much.

"I don't know what all this rage is between you two, especially after seeing you two just a couple of weeks ago laughing it up like some old friends. However, I also know that in your friendship, I have no business--" Addison rested her hands on her hips and spoke, just as Mark tried interrupting her.

"Addie, you--" he breathed in deeply, prepared to convince her otherwise.

"Let me finish," she told him, "now, I do feel that this sort of anger does not arise between a seemingly good friendship so quickly without good reason, therefore you two must conjour up a resolution to stop all this senseless arguing."

Addison turned to both Mark and Izzie, and gave them an expectant look, asking them to do something for themselves.

Quickly, Izzie opened her mouth. "That won't be necessary. After all," she tilted her head a bit to Mark, " It's not like Mark really considers this to be friendship, and he doesn't seem to want it to be that way either."

Mark sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Refusing to meet either woman's gaze, he didn't peep a word and so Addison kept on with her words.

"Well, I guess that settles it, being that I shouldn't have any say in your friendship," Addison paused as she searched for any regret in the pair's expressions, but only pride was apparent in both. "Mark, I realize that you are not in this hospital to make friends, but having one couldn't hurt you. So do not isolate the one who could be a friend due to some egotistical pride."

At this, Mark scoffed.

"What?" Addison rolled her eyes at Mark.

"I have not isolated her," he said.

"I haven't either," Izzie quickly threw in.

"Whatever the case," Addison ignored them, " I still believe the two of you should clarify your dilemma. You know, maybe with some lunch…"

"I am not having anymore cafeteria food," Mark remarked.

"Who said I'd have lunch with you, " Izzie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest.

And suddenly, a rather 'fun' idea hit Addison. A smirk crept up on her lips, one noticed quite nicely by Alex who had zoned in and out of Addison's 'speech.' He scrunched his brows and eyed her carefully, as she formulized her idea, and threw it in right away.

"Go to the wedding," was her suggestion.

"What?!" was the resounding statement by Alex, Izzie, and Mark.

"Burke's wedding, " Addison tucked her smirk away and pretended the idea was simple. "It's away from the cafeteria, the nosey nurses, and it's a fun social event, " she grinned to make the idea more likeable.

"That's not a good idea," Alex scoffed.

"That is a bad idea, " Izzie said, half laughing, mostly just mortified at the idea, "like really, really bad."

"There is no way I can do that Addison," Mark chuckled.

"And why not?" she asked,

"Cuz I'm going with Izzie, "Alex fibbed.

Izzie mouthed a quick thanks to him and turned to Addison. "Like he said, " she smiled too nervously, "we're going together."

Mark looked at them suspiciously. Izzie's tone wasn't too convincing…And going with Karev? No way.

Addison gulped, and she hoped she could churn out another idea. "Well then let's switch--Mark will go with Stevens, " and drawing air she finished, "and I'll go with Karev."

Now, suddenly, this seemed like a good idea to Alex. Yeah, Izzie going with Mark could definitely steer Izzie the wrong way, but a date with Addison? Now that would be awesome…

"But not as dates," Addison quipped quickly as she saw the confused faces of the rest.

Dammit, thought Alex.

"How would going to a wedding help?" Mark questioned her.

"Like I said, you'd be away from the hospital--it'd be a different scene for you two to get acquainted in…

"But Dr. Montgomery--"Izzie protested.

"If anything, "Addison said more forcefully than before, "it'll just go to show how fine I am with the friendship Mark has with you."

"But," Izzie took Addison's tone and added strength to it, "it's like a da--."

She didn't want to formulize that word, but it was on her mind, and she couldn't keep bottling things up in there--her emotional storage system could only take so much.

"It's nothing but two friends, two hard-headed, but good friends hitting the social scene," Addison explained.

"If they're being forced to go, how is it going to work?" Alex scoffed.

"She doesn't have to force us--we'll go," Mark threw in the towel. Addison was going to fight this all the way through, and if he had learned anything about Izzie, she would as well. Some people just weren't accustomed to being wrong, not that he was one to be preaching on the subject, but if he didn't want to spend any extra days in the dog house, he'd have to comply with Addison as much as possible. Or at least, that's the way he saw things.

"But how does Karev fit in this?" was the only question on Mark's mind.

"I need a date, otherwise there will be a flashing sign above my head screaming 'older, lonely, single woman at a wedding--by herself.' And who knows how my resistance to temptation will hold up that night," was her calculated answer.

"And Karev is the only one disposable that night?" Mark kept on.

"It's only a week away, Sloan," Alex retorted meticulously.

Izzie's hearing sort of went out after Mark said something to the effect of 'we'll go together.' Her heart jumped, her throat seemed to dry out on her, and her thoughts went in too many different alleyways to keep track. Because this could seriously make things worse, or…or nothing, it could only make things worse. She'd wear this beautiful dress, he'd wear a suit that would bring out the blue in his orbs, and an orchestra would play that frickin wedding song as she looked at him dreamingly in the audience…Ugh, that sounded so sickingly…sweet and romantic--were it not for the flashing neon light that was Addison sitting off somewhere, with a pair of blue eyes looking at her too attentively. Mark was making this about Addison, and at the wedding it'd all be about Addison. No way could she put up with it.

"What, so I'd go with a complete stran--" Addison was interrupted by Izzie

"Uh, thanks for letting me bring this whole mess to you Dr. Montgomery," Izzie laughed as they all turned their eyes to her, "I'll see you around." She nodded to Addison and turned to Mark. "Um, Mark, can we speak outside, quickly," she communicated.

Mark nodded his head and proceeded to leave the room. he acknowledged Addison with a nod and smirk, and stepped outside. "See you around Alex," Izzie sent a look of distraught to him.

"Iz--" he stepped forward, concerned about how all this was affecting her.

"I'm fine Alex," she tried reassuring him, "really." So he nodded, knowing there wasn't anything he could do for her to actually be fine. There was so much a friend could do anyway.

Izzie turned on her heel and swallowed the lump in her throat. She was about to tell this guy she had a huge thing for that she couldn't go…out with him. And in the back of her mind she had to keep restrained that the reason was that she had a huge thing for him and her going with him for the sake of another woman would only screw her up some more.

* * *

Addison watched the interaction between Alex and Izzie. It was short, but there was definitely a connection there. Given Izzie's last look though, it was obvious she felt nothing more than just friendly feelings for Izzie. Biting back her grin, she sat back down in her chair and breathed in deeply. she was actually quite happy with her 'suggestion.' Not because Mark could fix a rough patch with a friend, but more because she actually had someone to go to the wedding. God was she tired of being the lonely woman at social events. That, and she'd always wondered what Alex was like on a date. not that this was a date, but a girl can dream… 

"You shouldn't have done that," Alex's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"What?' she shook her head.

"Tell them to go to the wedding together."

He focused his browns on her blue-greens. He buried his brows, snuck his hands into his labcoat pockets, and his voice had deepened, half-whispering, half ready to burst out.

"It won't make things better," he said.

"What makes you think that, Karev?" she returned coldly.

"What makes you think it will help?" he burst out.

"Alex, I may not have the best relationship with Mark, but--" she sighed, closing her eyes to calm herself.

"That's putting it mildly," he said bluntly.

"But," she ignored this," I do care about him being lonely or not. And Stevens is the closest thing he's had as a friend in ages, so…"

"So this is for him," he brought his voice back down as his tone took on a despairing one.

She paused for a second, but answered a 'yes.'

"What about Izzie?" he asked calmly.

"You sure do seem to look out a lot for her, "she mumbled to herself, but he had heard her.

"Sloan is not a good influence," he gritted his teeth.

Looking back straight at him, Addison tilted her head and asked him, "Is that your decision to make?"

"You don't get it Addison," he scratched his head. He turned his body slightly, to avoid her glare, afraid to spill Izzie's private feelings.

"Do I want to 'get it'" she asked mockingly.

Sometimes her condescending tone could really drive him nuts, but Alex had to admit it was a good mask to hide her self-depreciation.

He walked to the doorknob, knowing Addison would neither object nor nag him on about their conversation. As his hand approached the doorknob, he turned his head to Addison.

"I just need to tell you Addison, " he paused, "it's only going to make things worse." He looked her in the eyes and softened his features a bit, trying to come as sincere as possible, even with the knowledge that no matter how honest he tried being with her, she wouldn't be able to grasp the reason for those words, or the meaning.

Not understanding his words, she just furrowed her eyebrows and kept her eyes locked on him as he went under the doorway.

Close to the door shutting behind him, Alex looked to her one more time, this time with a playful grin.

"I'll pick you up at your hotel," he told her.

"How do you know where to pick me up Karev?" she laughed.

"I know a many things about you Addison," and he let the door close as a real smile formed on her lips.

She didn't know about the 'things going worse' thing, but whatever it was, was not going to deter her from having some fun with Alex.

* * *

The tone of Izzie's voice worried him some. She didn't look too happy, nor did she sound it. Yet, after all this that had gone down in Addison's office, she wanted to speak to him some more. What about though? Still, he'd listen to her. After all, he wasn't going to go somewhere with a person who "wasn't in the mood." He'd have to get Izzie to be excited about that wedding in order for them to enjoy themselves, to reconnect, for Addison to see he had room in his heart for a friend, as he would usually not give anyone the time of day, and that he was trustworthy. 

So he followed her outside, where he saw she was walking slowly to the stairs. Without a request, he followed her. He figured she just wanted privacy, and he did too actually. He wasn't one to air things out in public. Okay, well just not air out his own dirty laundry. Otherwise it was kinda fun seeing some idiots overdue for some embarrassment, be humiliated.

Izzie walked the steps cautiously, but he saw how she started a little faster once his foot hit the first step. She stopped once they made it down a flight of stairs, her hand frozen on the handle of the stairs, she only turned to face him once he arrived on the same floor as her.

She was hesitant, without a question. He watched her carefully, each day more and more aware of sudden changes in her. When she first spoke to him, she seemed like quite the giddy intern, but the moment he hit on her, she was a fiery, defensive woman who refused to be the token blond. He didn't pay too much attention to her, as he wasn't going to chase after another woman who rejected him. However, once in a while he would find himself intrigued with her. She just stood out sometimes. Her spirit was so resilient, it was impossible to notice how strong she stood in the most difficult times.

The death of her fiancée must have been devastating, but soon enough she came back to the hospital, and she fought for her respect all the way through. The whole Grey ordeal should have had her losing faith, but through the door he saw her encouraging her friends to believe, saw her believing that Grey was far from dead. And in between that, she had performed a procedure that the most experienced doctors would back away from in such hazardous conditions; she had more than just 'drilled a guy's head.'

But this resilience he had seen so much of was appearing less and less. She was speaking less out of turn than usual, she was hiding in others shadows more, her tongue was not as sharp as before.

So it wasn't just the tone of her voice that worried him, nor the language of her body, but really the mix of the aforementioned and those two things combined.

"We don't have to do the wedding thing," she verbalized after moments of silence.

Well, the words weren't shocking. It was obvious she hadn't been thrilled about the whole idea. He wasn't either but really, what bad could come from it?

"Sure, it isn't an obligation, Stevens, but it couldn't hurt," he said.

He didn't smirk, didn't grin, didn't show too much awareness. He matched her tone, looked at her directly, daring her to look in his eyes and fight him on the subject some more.

And he also called her 'Stevens.' Just like in the office, like he couldn't call her 'Izzie' anymore because that would mean he did have an ounce of trust in her.

And damn, was he oblivious, in denial, or just plain stupid? Even if it wouldn't hurt, couldn't he respect her enough to see she just didn't want to do this?

_As I walk away  
I look over my shoulder  
To see what I'm leaving behind  
Pieces of puzzles  
And wishes on eyelashes fail_

"Then let me put it this way," she lowered her voice a parameter as her eyes withdrew its emotion an inch," I don't wanna do this."

Imitating her, he lowered his voice and his eyes glazed a bit when he took his turn to speak to her.

"Give me a good reason," he said.

'_Because it could be the final step to me being fully in love with you,' _was the line Izzie pushed down.

She breathed in deeply. A cold stare, forced so hardly out of her. No response. She couldn't give him one. Besides, she didn't owe him anything.

_Oh, how do I show  
All the love inside my heart?  
For this is all new  
And I'm feeling my way through the dark_

And he knew that was exactly what she was thinking. His glare fell, his eyes softened, and he kept his voice lowered, but without the added irritation and tension.

"I do have a good reason, and I know I can't force you to do this with me," he paused and took a stride forward," but I want you to do this for me."

"Give me a good reason," she said, angered further by his ignorance.

"I need to do this, Izzie," his expression softened more.

God, it looked like he was prepared to plead with her, but she couldn't melt for him.

_I used to talk  
With honest conviction  
Of how I predicted my world  
I'm gonna leave it to stargazers  
Tell me what your telescope says_

"For her," her voice gathered a more stern tone.

"For Addison," he answered so inconsiderately.

Izzie half-laughed, half-cried due to her anger, hiding the latter by biting her lip and averting her eyes to the ceiling. She then turned her eyes back to Mark, masking her hurt with bitterness, showing him a mixed result of the two feelings.

_Oh, what is in store for me now?  
It's coming apart  
I know that its true  
Cos I'm feeling my way through the dark_

"It's always about Addison, isn't it?"

"What?" his face contorted. When had he ever made things about Addison. Sure, he talked a lot about her and his 'frustrations.' And yeah, he'd yelled at Izzie over something Addison had said--well, all that might have been where Izzie got the idea from. But did she have sound so mad at Addison.

"Okay Izzie," he said," I'm not particularly good at keeping off the subject that is Addison, but you never expressed any complete disgust at the subject."

_Subject?_

"Subject?" she repeated aloud. "Is that what you refer the woman you supposedly love as? Seriously Mark! You feel you need to go to this wedding with another woman to prove you're trustworthy, and you refer to Addison as a subject! Does any of that sound like reason." Of course, she wasn't exactly entitled to burst out like that, but Izzie could only keep so much to herself.

He was left with a bit of shock. His face tensed again, and he couldn't seem to justify himself. Izzie groaned and turned her heel. Mark was quicker on his feet though, as he grabbed her before she could make a complete turn.

"I get that it doesn't make sense," his voice remained ever so calm," but there's nothing I want more that for Addison to go back to what it used to be. I want a second chance. I need it."

She felt so close to pity for him. He was so blind; Addison wasn't longing for that second chance with him half as much as he was. Now the anger obvious in her facial expressions lessened, and her eyes softened when she looked into his eyes.

_Trying to find a light on somewhere  
Trying to find a light on somewhere  
I'm finding I'm falling  
in love with the dark over here_

He was lost, his eyes mirroring the ocean's more than she could remember before. It was for this moment that she was silent, too encompassed in trying to find his true desire, that he took to convincing her.

"Do this for me Izzie," he took her hand, tepid and limp before he enclosed it," and i do consider you a friend. And I don't want to lose you--as a friend. So please do this, and it'll be the last thing I ever ask of you."

_That's what I'm afraid of_, she thought as her hand warmed at his touch, one of those small touches he allowed her. She gulped and looked down at how he rubbed his thumb over her hand, trying to soothe her to say 'yes.'

_Oh, what do I know, I don't care  
Where I start_

"Okay," she breathed. And she closed her eyes and nodded, in case he didn't hear her, although she half-hoped he wouldn't see her nodding either. She just agreed to do one last thing for him. One last thing.

He broke into a smile. He actually changed Izzie Stevens mind. Even though he preferred it when she was too stubborn for her own good, he quite enjoyed the fact that he convinced her of something.

So Mark, happy that he got his way, pulled Izzie into him and wrapped his arms around his ways. Laughing, he rubbed her back and whispering, "You have no idea how much you're helping me."

Needless to say, he body immediately loosened up, and she placed her arms around his shoulders, resting her head softly on his shoulder blade, just close enough to inhale his scent.

He wrapped her in him, giving her the last convincing statement, hoping she'd see he did care about her. She was strong, abrasive, and confident, and sure, he hadn't seen much of that as of late, but maybe she'd come back to that at the wedding, where they were sure to have some fun.

He pulled away carefully, although not enough so to not have Izzie feeling sorry at the lost of their proximity. He pulled his face back and gazed at Izzie who now appeared with a shy smile. No words came from her, and hell if someone told him he would be happily hugging an intern, he wouldn't have any words either. Laughing it off, his arms left her waist and his hands landed on her arms, where he squeezed her softly.

"I knew you couldn't resist the McSteamy charm," he whispered in a playful tone with his signature smile. And with those words, he made his leave, but not before giving her a soft kiss on the forehead.

_For my troubles are few  
As I'm feeling my way through the dark_

"Yeah," she said in a breath as he left her agape, processing the last ten seconds. He had hugged her, without a second thought. Just gathered her in his arms, and yeah, maybe he had squeezed a tad too hard, but that just went to show how much it came from his heart.

And no kiss, no matter its simplicity or rigor, had ever left her so powerless.

_Through the dark_

_I'm feeling my way through the dark_

Bringing a few fingers to her head, cautiously she touched the ever-fresh mark she had been gifted with.

Mark Sloan really had no idea how far the McSteamy charm had taken Isobel Stevens.

'_You have no idea, Mark,' _and her hand went limp again.

* * *

**Please R&R**. And thank you to those who have reviewed. They keep me going…**PEACE.**


	12. To The Sky

This chapter is uber-long--just a warning. Please R&R. Thanks.

A/N: Sequences from the latter half of season three will be out of order here, as I will use them in ways to fit this story better. This is definitely different than the season finale, so if things don't sound familiar, it's because they aren't.

"2 The Sky" (Robin Thicke)

The beginning of that week should have indicated something, should have foreshadowed the way the wedding day would go. At least the shift in moods should have. There were no such signs though, at least not any that Mark Sloan paid any attention to. This time, he wasn't harsh on Izzie for not being around for work much. She did have that intern exam to do at the end of the week. And Bailey had said that was to be their only focus right now. So when she didn't report to him, he didn't go on a hunt. When she said a very timid 'hi' he didn't chastise her on proper manners. And when she avoided his gaze, he contributed it to nerves.

Addison, as always, was distant. He didn't feel very up to reminding her the days remaining anymore. For some reason or another, it was no longer very amusing. As a matter of fact, the pact was now more irritating than ever. This, along with various other frustrations, Mark wanted to vent out to someone. He just wanted to express his…dammit, he wanted to express his feelings, but it seemed like there was no one to listen to him. God, how he missed Izzie's presence now. She would listen, encourage him to do something constructive rather than complain, and she would playfully mock him to make feel better.

Shaking his head, he looked at himself in the mirror after having washed his face. It had been an unusually long day. Turning around, he took a look at his hotel room, so vacant of homely remainders. Walls with dull paint, carpet impeccably clean, desk littered with meaningless medical essays.

Even with the pact ending a week and three days away, he felt his life to be empty. Except when Izzie made him laugh. And he shook his head again, tilting his head to take one last look in the mirror. Damn, did he look good in a tux.

**

* * *

**

She came home that night after the whole 'being in Addison's office' ordeal crashing into her bed. She threw a disgruntled scream into her pillow, causing Meredith to peek in to check on her. She asked if she was okay, at which Izzie bit 'if I was okay, would I be screaming,' then causing Meredith to say sorry sarcastically and start leaving. Izzie stopped her and apologized.

Meredith had noticed the slight change of attitude in Izzie. But she figured it was because George wasn't allowed to come within ten feet of her. So she went and lied down next to Izzie.

"Don't lie to me," she said rather intrusively.

Izzie lifted her head and stared Meredith straight on.

"Within the span of one month and a week and a half I managed to fall in love with an asshole," she said.

Izzie kept her straight face, and Meredith's had contorted in confusion, not understanding that at all. And almost immediately Izzie regretted saying it. So she started laughing, turning into her pillow to hide her tears. When the pillow dried them away, she turned back to Meredith, with a plastered smile.

"I was just kidding Mer," she had painfully rolled her eyes.

"Oh," she said, still confused, as she didn't find that to be funny. "So then what's up," she asked, still serious.

"Nothing," Izzie said, knowing Meredith would want a better answer. So she conjured one. "It's just," she paused, "this test is making me stressed, and add to that, that I can't spend a minute with my best friend, it's just very stressful."

"You sure?" Meredith hadn't been very convinced.

"Yeah," Izzie reaffirmed her.

With that, Meredith had left her alone. Very much alone.

And that week hadn't gone much differently. Preparing for the exam hadn't been an especially simple task, and not spilling her guts to Mark on every encounter of theirs hadn't been any easier, but now the test, and the avoiding was over.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

In a hurry to finish up the last touches of her makeup, she laced on her lipstick and took a step back. Resilience wasn't at its best, but she could just blame the blush for making her look so soft, and the eyeliner for making her look too absorbed in her own world.

She stepped away from the sink and turned to Alex, who was tying his tie.

"Hey Iz, you look great," he commented, giving her a soft smile as he looked at her.

"Thanks Alex," she answered and stepped around him. "So, how well did you score?"

She hurried to her locker and threw in her sneakers. The bridesmaids, and more importantly the bride, had to be at the chapel before the guests, and Christina's need to cut was seriously not helping.

Alex kept behind her. "I don't know. Just made sure I passed," Alex answered her quickly. He wanted to approach her about something else. He knew Izzie wasn't exactly up for this evening.

"We don't have to go," he said staring intently on her back as she flexed her shoulder muscles.

"And what," she scoffed bitterly, "stand them up."

"It'll make for one helluva story," he smirked as she turned to face him

"Not quite as entertaining as the excuse we'll have to give them," she smirked back, fiddling with a medical cap.

"If you're up for it Iz, we'll both just head to Joe's instead, get drunk off our asses, and maybe have sympathy sex back at Mer's house," he let out a chuckle.

"That so doesn't sound familiar," she joked with him, no longer concerned as much with the 'George thing.'

"But, one" she let out a sigh," I am a bridesmaid, and two, would you really leave Dr. Montgomery like that especially when she ran back to her place to get all dressed up, just for you?"

Alex hesitated. She had an inkling he would hesiate. As of late she'd started looking in more on what sort of teaching was going on between Alex and the ex-she Shepard, and it had all seemed much too tension filled.

"I'll give her a call," he shrugged, looking down at the carpet as his heart fluttered. Was he honestly considering putting Izzie before Addison?

"Christina's waiting for us," she said right after. She needed to end the joking. This was Christina's day.

She inhaled and took a turned the corner around their lockers. Alex looked up to her and she stopped mid-step.

"This isn't some joke Alex. We're adults. We're supposed to take responsibility. Whatever promises we make, we have to try our hardest to keep them," Izzie knew Alex would need some convincing as well.

"And Izzie Stevens isn't a quitter," he bit at her.

"But you are," she said as harshly as he had.

"You wear your heart on your sleeve, Iz. You walk in that church, you stand next to Christina, seeing Sloan, knowing he'll be waiting for you when you walk back out of that aisle, and that's when the real test will start. You stop now, you give up now, and you've got a shot, but if you don't…" he paused as she blinked back tears.

"God, and I just had my makeup done, and if Burke's mom sees anything running…," she laughed at the trite worry of running makeup and looked to Alex again, "I know the only shot will be me feeling like I've been stomped on by Cupid. But I'm strong. And I know better."

"Izzie, hurry up--we're gonna be late!" Meredith yelled from the door.

"You sure?" Alex asked her, ignoring Meredith.

She nodded as she swallowed any oncoming tears and carefully dabbed at her eyes. "Yeah," she whispered looking down at her manicured hands, " after sleeping with George, "I know better than being selfish." She faced Alex and offered her the best fake smile she could manufacture.

He laughed at how she so perfectly hid her fears with that smile.

"Okay," he nodded and led her out of the room, "so I better go too. Addison's gonna be pissed if I don't get her before the wedding starts." Izzie laughed, and she paused in front of a mirror and she sighed, noting that one thing was sure--she looked gorgeous enough to make anyone do a double take.

**

* * *

**

He knew he was cutting it very close, but he loved being fashionably late.

Mark entered the church, already bored with the ceremony, despite it not even beginning. He went down a few corroders until he found the entrance to the pews where the ceremony would take place. But he noticed some frantic arguing occurring close by. Following the voices he came across a scene that caused him to step back and enjoy the 'view.' Meredith was yelling at Christina, with Izzie throwing in her jabs, and rolling her eyes every two seconds, as Callie stood some steps away, keeping as much distance between herself and Izzie.

It appeared as though Yang was having second doubts. He laughed to himself, but they all heard him and turned abruptly in his direction.

Christina turned back to Mer, who looked to Izzie to see if she knew what he was doing there. Izzie rolled her eyes and walked towards Mark.

"Aren't you supposed to be sitting in there?" she hissed, pointing in the direction of the pews.

"I was running a tad late," he smirked.

"A tad? The frickin music is about to play, how is that a tad late?" she fumed.

"It's a wedding Stevens, you should learn to enjoy these sort of days," he scanned her.

"Just go," she turned on her heel and walked back to the arguing friends. Cold feet ten seconds before getting married was so not any fun for the bridesmaids.

"By the way Izzie," he yelled to her.

"What?!" she turned although she kept walking.

He grinned and said, "You've never looked better," with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

She rolled her eyes and hid the smile that was trying to form. She turned back around before the tint of pink hit her cheeks full-on.

"Izzie!" Meredith snapped her fingers in her face.

"What?!" Izzie exclaimed as her mind cleared of McSteamy thoughts.

"We're ready!" Meredith yelled back.

"Oh," Izzie chuckled nervously. She breathed in and took a step behind Callie, and Meredith stood behind Izzie. They breathed in deeply and waited for the chorus to begin.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

Mark made his way around the chapel, looking for the best seat in the house. He spotted Addison on the other side, laughing at something apparently Karev had said. He saw her red hair cascading down her back, with soft curls. She wore an emerald dress, as he could tell from her back, which he was sure she wore to compliment her eyes.

He broke into a smirk and coyly made his way over to her. He took a seat behind Addison, sighing loudly to make his presence known. Addison rolled her eyes and turned her head around.

"Glad you could make it, Mark," she greeted him humorlessly.

"Glad I got a good seat, Addison," he smirked.

Addison turned back around, and Alex leant in to whisper something.

Mark grumbled loudly, and Addison turned back around.

"What?" she asked him.

"I'm watching you," he whispered.

Rolling her eyes again, she turned back and this time leant in to whisper a little gem into Alex's ear. This wedding was already driving Mark crazy. Finally, the chorus began the wedding march.

The doors opened swiftly, and everyone's heads turned to the back of the chapel. Callie entered, a bright smile, and she walked down the aisle, to the pace of the music.

Several steps behind her, Izzie appeared. She gripped the boutique in her hand tightly, and drew on a smile. She glanced quickly around the room, only settling her eyes when she spotted Mark. Her heart quickened--he was watching her intently, even sending her a wink when her eyes locked onto his. Her heart fluttered and her eyes averted his for a second. She had to bite her lip to stifle a small giggle. She brought her eyes back up again and caught his gaze again just as she passed by him. She accidentally quickened her pace after she passed him, and made a step to stand on Callie's right. She breathed in quickly and offered Meredith a smile as she made her own way to the altar. Subconsciously, her eyes were drawn back to Mark. That is when she noticed whom he was sitting behind. Her heart dropped momentarily, knowing he had sat behind Addison on purpose. She was just surprised he didn't excuse himself and sit right beside her.

She drew her eyes away and decided to focus on the ceremony instead. Christina was making her way down, with a nervous smile. She only looked ahead to her, and you could tell she was counting beneath her breath. Everything was always a method with Christina. At last Christina stood before Preston, and the priest began the ceremony. But try as she might, and as funny as Christina was being when she was doing her best to perform her vows, Izzie's could hardly stray from the vision that was Mark. At times, he was looking to the altar--during these times, he would catch her gaze adrift and she would blush and look away. Other times he would be burning holes into Alex's back. From where Izzie stood, Izzie could see that once in a while Alex and Addison would lean into each other or throw one another glances. This sure wasn't pleasing Mark.

Izzie knew this would happen. Alex had told her it would. She was looking at Mark, and God did he look good in that tux and navy blue tie. And when their eyes caught, butterflies would arise, and her heart had her hoping he was feeling the same things going aflutter. But he was also looking to Addison, keeping close watch. This was all while they were apart. She couldn't imagine how much worse she was going to feel at the reception.

"I do," Preston's voice boasted, bursting Izzie's thoughts.

She looked back to the couple and felt happiness for Christina. At least someone was getting their knight in shining whatever to swear to through thick and thin.

The priest repeated the verse to Christina and there was a gap of silence. After twitching a bit, Christina smiled broadly and told the Seattle Grace world "I Do."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the priest announced, following by Meredith whooping "We did it!" then she mumbled a 'sorry' when the guests stared at her in confusion. Izzie laughed. Meredith believed that if Christina got this done, Meredith could one day get it done also. Maybe Meredith's ideal wasn't so naïve. Maybe it wasn't so hard believing. Looking back out to Mark, her smile only grew as she saw Mark laughing and nodding his head at Meredith's outburst. He sure looked a lot better when he wasn't worrying about that redhead.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

"So, are you hitching a ride in the limo or you want to go in my car, cuz it looks like your friends have abandoned you," Mark yelled to Izzie, who had just made it outside the church.

She paused, making her way down the stairs slowly to think up an answer for her. She met him on the last step, which she almost completely fell over.

"Whoa," he caught her arm before she twisted an ankle, "be careful there." He chuckled, causing her to do the same.

She felt a chill when his fingers gripped her skin. She slid her arm off slowly and tucked her bangs behind her hair.

"So, what's it going to be?" Mark beckoned her.

Izzie looked to the street and noticed that the limo was already backing out--apparently the rest of the party was all too anxious to take the wedding pictures in the park to wait for one bridesmaid. Sighing, she faced Mark and said, "Doesn't look like I've got much of a choice." Izzie shrugged. Unless she wanted to accompany the new in-laws, she had to go with Mark. Either Meredith caught on to her feelings for Mark, or the universe had a twisted humor for her to be stranded here with Mark.

"Alright, then let's go," and he made his way to his car. He opened the door for her, and she lifted the dress to get in. Thank God his car was roomy, or else she would have felt even more confined in lone space with him.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

He could hear the soft humming of the engine. That's how quiet it was. After five minutes on the road, following the large limo, he got tired of her one-word answers to his questions. Exasperated, he flipped on the radio. An upbeat pop-rock song was playing, but even then Izzie didn't appear any more relaxed. Sighing he turned to Izzie when they came to a stop.

"What's on your mind Izzie?"

Her head still turned to the street, she mumbled, "Nothing."

"You're friend just got married, you'd think you'd be a little happier," he grumbled turning back to the street ahead of him.

"I am happy," she breathed in," just a little drained."

"You did pass your exam, right?" he asked her. Maybe the results had her a little down.

She chuckled. Shouldn't he know her better than that? Isobel Stevens never failed a test, and even if she did, she would do whatever possible to retake it immediately. No test would stand in her way.

"Passing it is putting it lightly," she answered.

He grinned. How could he have doubted her.

"And I am happy for Christina. I feel a bit sorry for Burke, but he asked for it," she laughed lightly.

"That's bound to happen when you propose being with one person for the rest of your life," he chuckled.

Izzie smiled tightly and gulped. "Yeah."

"But I guess when you're in love…" he practically whispered.

She turned her head and looked at him momentarily. He kept silence, and his mind appeared to be on something other than the road. Yeah, when you're in love…

He cleared his throat, and Izzie looked ahead of her instead. "Guess it's a tricky thing, huh?"

It was a rhetorical question, but seriously, was he using reverse psychology and trying to get some sort of truth out of her? What was he doing bringing up this sort of conversation.

"Well today isn't about the tricky side," Izzie tried on a smile and faced him," it's about the celebratory part of it."

Mark grinned, parking the car in front of the park at which the primary wedding party was to have their photographs taken. Facing her, he said," well hurry up with the pictures so we can start the celebration." He took the key out of the ignition and stepped out. Izzie waited, for him to open her door. He had a thing about opening girls doors for them, and pulling out chairs for them. It always annoyed her, but it was quite nice how he could be so chivalrous whilst being such a cocky man towards women. Probably some subordinate flaw of his that he sought to fix through little moments of sincerity.

She grabbed the handle of the door and swung her feet out. He held out a hand for her and she felt entranced by how they must look to a third person. Him in his tux, holding out his hand for her, with a beautiful dress on. She took his hand cautiously, but didn't quite calculate the distance from his car to the sidewalk and took a bit of a trip. Catching her wrist with one hand and steadying her with a grip on her hip he laughed.

"Were you drinking before the ceremony Stevens, because that is the second trip in 10 minutes," he commented.

She laughed nervously. He was mere inches but his mind paid no attention to this. Hers however could hardly form a cohesive remark.

"Yeah," she laughed, "I was drinking while I was scrubbing in on a surgery."

"Good to know I'm not the only one," he joked, letting go of her wrist. But the hand which was on her hip, traveled around her waist and he pulled her next to her. "Hurry, looks like they've started without you," he said casually.

Izzie felt herself tremble a bit, but she stood firm and did her best to forget that Mark had his arm securely wrapped around her waist. His hold after all, was one that usually a friend had on another fried. It wasn't tight, but it was gripping, and it was quite casual.

She pulled his arm off and threw him a dirty look, to pretend she was disgusted by his show of affection. He laughed and went to the driver's seat. "See ya at the reception Stevens," he called over his shoulder and climbed in. Izzie just waved him off.

She took large steps and approached Meredith. She swirled around and immediately started yelling. "Where have you been?!"

"You ditched me!" she yelled back.

"Oh yeah," she laughed, the smell of alcohol already on her breath. She pulled Izzie's hand and started running to Christina.

"She's here!" Meredith screamed. Christina then started scolding her, at which Preston pulled her and told the photographer he could keep on with the pictures.

**

* * *

**

As soon as the limo pulled up to the Carlton Ritz hotel, Izzie grabbed the door and stepped out.

It's not difficult to see why--Meredith had been giggling and feeling Derek up the whole way there (yes, feeling up, and "whispering" dirt little things), Callie and George sat as far as possible from Izzie the whole way, gripping hands and discussing who knows what in private. Christina meanwhile, kept poking Meredith, to get her to stop, and in even worse attempts, tried to keep all the alcoholic drinks from within her reach. Preston kept receiving weary looks from Derek, but all he would do is laugh at Derek's (mis)fortune. Needless to say, Izzie had been very uncomfortable. She was the only bridesmaid without a date…because Mark wasn't her date, which meant that she could clearly not invite him into the limo. Not that she wanted to. All the rest of the party would have done would be interrogating them both, wondering why in the hell they were at a wedding together. Thankfully, nobody had caught wind of Mark's true reason for being at the wedding. Everyone just assumed he had invited himself.

Izzie made a beeline for the ballroom, and exhaled loudly when she couldn't hear Meredith's squeals anymore. You'd think she was the one that had just gotten married. Seriously, Meredith was acting more like a bride than Christina. Granted, that wasn't difficult seeing as even Burke acted more like a bride than his now-wife.

It was already pretty loud. There was a crowd of guests dancing on the floor to the upbeat pop music the band was playing, whilst others sat around conversing with their friends. Her eyes searched the grand ballroom, taking in the beauty of it all. White satin was entwined across the walls, intersecting in the very center. The tables held the same material, with wedding remembrances on each. In the center of the room stood a ten layer cake--the velvet one everyone had agreed on. To her far right extended the table in which the wedding party was to be seated. Her eyes traveled to the back of the room, where she saw a hint of the lake that resided behind the intrusive hotel. If it were her wedding, she would have gotten a canoe and had the ceremony held in that lake, on a night with the full moon, and little noise to interrupt her night.

A light smile touched her lips, and her mind wandered to the romanticism of the water. Hmm, the blue water…

"This place is driving me crazy," he interrupted her. Or rather plumped himself right into the nice little scene she had unwinding in her mind.

He stood directly in front of her, ruffling his hair, the other hand in his pocket. His eyes traveled the room with boredom, slowly reaching her wide-eyed gaze.

"Yeah?" Izzie said dumbfounded.

He shrugged and a smirk played out on his lips. He crossed his arms and leaned in on her. "What do you say we ditch this place and form our little own after-party?"

She closed her eyes and laughed. Always the troublemaker.

"Or we could just throw everyone in the lake," she said jokingly, rolling her eyes.

Mark cocked an eyebrow, mischievous thoughts forming. "Women scantily clad thrown into the water on a chilly afternoon. That is not such a bad idea," he murmured.

Izzie chuckled, swatting his chest. "I guess that answers the question of whether Mark Sloan ever thinks of anything other than the female anatomy."

He was ready with an inappropriate remark when Meredith bust through the doors.

"We're here!!!" she screamed, with a bottle of wine in her hand. Laughing she took a sip and stumbled, landing on Derek who was watching her like a hawk.

Callie and George entered silently, rounding Meredith and heading straight to their place in the table. Then came Christina's mother. She eyed the crowd, settling on Izzie who was standing near the entrance. Ms. Yang grabbed Izzie's arm, and pulled her to the table. She threw a glance over her shoulder and mouthed a 'sorry' to Mark. He simply grinned and walked away from the entrance.

Burke's parents came in next. They stood in place and Burke's father cleared his throat. The guests quieted and Mama Burke grinned.

"Ladies and gentlemen," she drew out," Mr. and Mrs. Burke!" She extended her arms and began to clap, stepping to the side for the newly-married couple.

Preston pulled in Christina, who whispered to him through gritted teeth. "It's Yang, not Burke."

Preston ignored her whisper and spoke. "Thank you, thank you," he nodded his head and turned to Christina. A melody began to play and the lights suddenly dimmed. Aw--the first dance as a married couple. They swayed to the music, Christina obviously muttering the steps under her breath. She had reluctantly taken ballroom classes. She would have looked awkward were it not for Preston leading her so. It was probably the first and last time anyone would see _him_ leading _her._ After a couple of minutes, other couples joined them. After a few songs, the couple sat down to eat.

The Burke's (excuse me--Burke and Yang-Burke) took their seats in the center of the table, with Meredith on Christina's left, and Derek on Preston's right. Izzie sat next to Meredith, with Christina's mother on her left. The hand she was dealt here she tried her best not to take as an omen as to how the evening would proceed. Although it was considerably better than sitting next to Callie or George, who were sitting on Burke's side. A couple of Christina's family members were added to her side to match that of Burke's.

Izzie shifted uncomfortably in her seat as some waiters handed them their food. She spotted Mark at a random table, with a few random people. He sat straight up in his chair, his legs and arms crossed, seemingly relaxed. From the look in his eyes though you could tell how out of place he looked. A woman came up to him, and she sat down next to him, scooting over her chair to his. She saw him roll his eyes and turn his face away from hers. She had on red, glossy lipstick. Her eyes were heavily painted with black eyewear, and she was wearing a short, red halter-top dress. She literally had tramp written all over her. Meredith probably had invited her, the thought escaped her mind. Immediately she wanted to retract the bitter thoughts, but recanted when she saw how forcibly she was coming on to Mark. She twisted the napkin in her lap and though of various ways to show the girl up. Fortunately Mark dismissed her before Izzie did something ludicrous. If she could ever bring herself to do something that is.

Calming down, she shifted her eyes down to her food, deciding to poke at it some more. Finding the task especially boring, she took her wine glass and being drinking slowly. She certainly was not on a mission to match Meredith's drunken state. She didn't want to have to be restrained.

Setting the glass back down she smoothed out her dress and inhaled deeply. She looked up to the clock and cursed to herself. Hardly half an hour had passed--there was no way she could spend the rest of the day sitting there avoiding Mark. As if he had been reading her mind, his hand reached out to her, telling her to get her ass up so he could have someone to hang out with. Apparently five other women had vainly attempted to snatch him, and he was tired of turning them down.

She cautiously took his hand to stand up. Soon as she was up, she drew it away and excused herself from the table. Meredith wriggled her eyebrows suggestively and turned to Mark.

"You take good care of her, 'kay?" she smiled at him.

He winked and said. "You bet."

Meredith nodded her head and began laughing. "Be careful Iz--I heard he's a lot of territory to cover."

"Meredith!" she heard Derek exclaim from two people over. And Meredith was being quite louder than that.

Izzie had to do her best not to blush. Oh yes, that definitely brought some images to Isobel Stevens mind. Mark noticed her blush and he placed a gentle arm around her waist.

"Don't worry," he whispered huskily," it's not anything a girl like you can't cover." He draped his eyes over her body, from head to toe.

Izzie pulled his arm off, and facing away from him, she said, " I'm something you won't be able to handle, though."

She heard him chuckle behind her and a sad smile tainted her.

Mark strode up beside her and he placed his arm in the same place. Her breathing hitched and she had to remember to place one foot in front of another. Why did he have to keep holding her around the waist?

He stopped her after they crossed the dance floor and turned to face her.

"Now what?" he whispered, as though he needed his question to be kept secret.

Izzie furrowed her brows and looked at him quizzically.

"What do you mean?" she whispered back.

"Do we talk, or dance, or just stand here…?"

She grinned as she realized what he meant. Of course Mark wouldn't know what to do with a woman if the path wasn't treaded with littered clothes.

"We can talk," she answered him and took the nearest empty seat. He followed her example and sat across from her.

Izzie leaned back into her chair, and Mark did as well. Neither spoke a word, not sure which topic to discuss. Izzie took another glance around, hoping to see Alex, wondering if he was having the same luck as her. It was Addison who caught her eye though. She was playing with her distinctly read hair, smiling dumbly at whatever Alex was saying. Whatever it was, he must have found hilarious because he was cracking up. Addison however, just smiled at him, with a look of incredibility and…wonder? Admiration? Whatever it was, it looked dangerously close to what a woman looked like when she was looking at the man she loved.

She saw herself focusing on the pair, and how fluid their interaction was. Actually, if she thought about it, they were always this way. Even in the beginning, when Alex and Addison constantly fought, they would bark back and forth, without missing a beat. It was like this now, without the bickering. Addison said something, and Alex's face would react at her words quickly, and he would reiterate some words, then Addison would glance down and back up at Alex. They would fall into silence, but it wasn't the uncomfortable one she and Mark had fallen in. Although there was visible tension between the two. She sighed, so confused by what Alex was doing. By what Addison was doing.

Mark heard Izzie's sigh and he looked up to her. He saw her eyes focused on another entity, and so she followed the path her eyes illuminated. He found her focused on the conversing redhead and annoying intern. He found himself transfixed by their interaction, and his heart fell. Addison hadn't spoken to him that easily in ages.

When they fell silent, Alex's focus on Addison shifted to that of the room. He felt the tension and needed to be diverted. He noticed Izzie looking from afar and he gave her an encouraging smile. Then he saw Sloan sitting across from her, along with the fact that he was looking directly at Addison. His face tensed, and Addison, seeing this, turned to see what had caused him to be uncomfortable. She rolled her eyes when her eyes met Mark's. She turned back around and set her eyes back on Alex.

"I say we head outside," she smirked.

"What?" Alex said as he gazed at her again.

"Just to lobby. For some quiet," Addison said as she gathered her purse. She didn't wait for an answer and solely rose. Quickly Alex stood and waited to follow behind her.

Izzie's eyes set down on the table in front of her when the pair left their table. When she heard Mark grumble, she looked to him.

He gripped his chair and started rising out of his seat. She grabbed his hand to stop him, and he listened.

"They're just going outside," she said when they walked through the lobby entrance.

"And you don't find that odd?" he said angrily.

"Just forget it Mark," she rolled her eyes.

Mark paused at her tone. He was treating her like a second-rate girl, and that wasn't fair.

"I shouldn't have agreed to this," Izzie said aloud.

"No Izzie, I'm sorry, she just likes getting under my skin," rubbed his thumb over her hand, which was still strewn over the table.

She jumped at the contact and met his eyes.

"So," she laughed nervously, "how was it without us interns to bring you coffee this week?"

He smiled gently at her. "I managed…somehow."

Izzie smiled tightly. "Here I was thinking you'd use that charm of yours to bewitch the nurses into running your errands."

Mark took a moment to answer. It was a comment like all others of hers. Except without the tough edge added to it. "Never said I didn't" he said quietly.

She didn't answer to this, only nodding her head with a small smile. She was too out of touch to hit him with a comment below the belt.

"I wish I knew what was going on with you Izzie," he couldn't catch the thought before it exited his mouth.

Surprised, she shot her eyes up to him. She froze as his eyes washed over her face inquisitively.

"I barely know you, but you always busted my chops. You made me eat with you when I swore up and down I liked eating by myself. You'd make me say why I had others bring me coffee, not who would bring them," he explained.

"People are different once you get to know them," she answered.

"Fine, I won't push it. Your life isn't my business," he said annoyed by her bs.

Izzie didn't say a thing. He had turned his face away from hers, looking out onto the dance area. She studied him hard, wanting to just shake him. She jumped into his life like it was he business, willing to push through boundaries and walls to get answers. Why couldn't he do the same? Why wouldn't he do the same?

All she could chalk it up to was fear. He never, in the entirety of his life, pushed someone's boundaries for the sake of getting answers. He'd go through layers, but would give up, content with the bits and pieces he had acquired. He had gotten bits and pieces with her, but he wouldn't do anything more. He wouldn't give it the extra mile. He could say it was because he hated being intrusive, but time and time again he'd been told it was okay to push the limits, so long as it was justified by the other side. And time and time again she'd told him she didn't mind the next level. It was just another challenge.

But by not pushing through, he was presenting her with a challenge her mind would not let her conquer. She could only do so much. She could only meet him half-way.

"Izzie," she felt a whisper on her ear. She jumped at the proximity of the person next to her. She turned quickly and there was Alex.

"Sorry," he said meekly. "Wanna dance?" he pulled her up. So much for waiting for the answer, she thought.

She took his hand and looked behind her. Addison gave her a tight smile and waved them off. Izzie turned to Mark, who was still off in his own world. She caught his gaze however when she passed him. He looked at her confused, burned a hole into Alex's back and turned to see Addison sitting in Izzie's place now.

"Hello Mark," she smirked.

"Addison," he smiled.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

"You always been a fan of dancing?" Izzie jabbed at Alex as they began dancing.

He shrugged. "Addison wanted to talk to Mark," he tried playing off the jealousy," and you looked right about ready to kill Sloan with your mind." Alex smirked, trying to keep his eyes on Izzie and not Addison.

"He sure does know how to piss a girl off," she said.

"So what'd he do?" Alex asked.

"Said my life isn't his business," she shrugged," and it isn't, so I just overreacted by throwing him daggers with my eyes."

Alex smiled sadly at her. If Addison showed such disinterest about his life he'd probably be throwing eye daggers as well.

"Is your non-date going as well as mine?"

"Not as bad."

"Do you love her, Alex?" she asked outright.

Shocked he stepped back from her and scoffed.

"No--wh--" he couldn't form a sentence.

"I know that feeling," Izzie laughed.

Alex blushed and stopped moving. He stepped around Izzie, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and paused in a place deficit of dancing freaks.

Izzie placed a hand on his shoulder, turning him around.

"What's wrong Alex?" Izzie asked.

"It's not right that she's doing this Iz. She shouldn't be with him," he said gruffly.

"That's not for us to decide Alex."

Ignoring her, he side-stepped her and marched right up to Addison. Without missing a beat, she stood up and held out her hand. He took it and pulled her onto the dance floor. A soft song was playing, and by the way his smile played, you could tell he couldn't be anymore thankful. Addison quickly rested her arms around Alex's head, and his went around her waist.

Sighing, Izzie walked back to the table and weakly greeted Mark. Before she could walk on, he stood up.

"What do you say, Izzie?" he grinned, extending his hand.

She glanced at his hand. Inhaling deeply, she screwed her mouth shut to not yell at him for asking her to dance only after Addison started dancing with someone else.

"I'll let you feel me up," he flashed her a smile.

She smiled in spite of herself and intuitively took his hand. He placed greater pressure on her hand and walked with her to the floor.

She stood in front of him, looking at him nervously, not knowing exactly what to do. Whatever song had been playing now ended, but it transcended into another slow song.

So Mark inched closer to Izzie and snaked an arm around her waist, signaling her to place an arm on his shoulder. He used his other hand to hold her yet untouched hand.

"The offer's still open Stevens," he pulled her in closer.

She felt vulnerable as he did this. Unable to keep at a distance, unable to control her breathing, unable to give him a biting comment.

Well not completely.

"With you, everything is always open," she retorted.

"As it should be," he said, ignoring those last 50 days.

"Hmm," was the only noise she could produce as she felt herself snuggling in closer to him.

When she hit his chest, his breath caught. He smiled to himself when she settled there. He let her hand go and allowed it to travel around her waist. He felt both arms around his neck now, and her scent drove up his nostrils, giving him the same chills she gave him every time theirs hands momentarily touched.

To the back of his mind he pushed these chills, where all things Isobel Stevens had been quickly accumulating. Her firm tone, her all-telling eyes, his inability to read such open eyes, her stamina, that slight blush he swore he saw when he eyed her, but above all the way she would give in to him after a few pleading words. It made him feel important, that she would say 'yes' to him when she would tell everyone 'no.'

After a minute he realized that his eyes were closed. He opened them slowly, seeing that Izzie was in fact dancing with him. He glanced up and saw Addison, mumbling something into Alex's ear. They looked so intimate, as though they were actually a couple, like they were on a date.

He felt less pressure on his chest and glanced down to Izzie. He wished he was better at hiding his emotions, but she caught on to his look of anger. She knew it was because of Addison, and he knew she could tell.

"Are we just going to watch Addison all night," her eyes, he could swear, were lined with droplets.

"Let's just not think about her," he winked.

A look of disgust washed over her face, but she leant back into him.

"I'm not a complete ass," he tried apologizing.

She bit her lip and dug her head deeper into his chest.

He felt her grab a tighter hold around his neck, felt her digging herself in more, felt her trembling.

Before he could pull away to look at what was going on with her, she mumbled into his shirt," I know you're not a complete ass, Mark. I'm probably the only one who'll say you're an idiot, not an ass."

She pulled her head back, letting it hang down she withdrew her hands from his neck. She wiped at her eyes and said, "I need to get out of here," she looked for the nearest exit.

Mark threw a glance around the room, and noticed the door that led to the view of the lake.

"Alright, come on," he pulled her from around the waist.

"Mark, I…" she definitely did not want to get away from the wedding with him. Who knows what she would do?

"You need to get out. And since I'm here for you, then I need to get out too."

He gave her an encouraging smile and tilted his head to the terrace, where the lake lie.

"I am here with you, remember? No one else," he whispered in her ear.

Nodding numbly, she reluctantly let him follow her outside.

* * *

_There doesn't seem to be that many readers invested in this story anymore (with the small amount of reviews and all). So, not surprisingly, I would like some feedback as to why this is. Did I stray from a formula you liked, or is the story simply uninteresting anymore. I get that McStizzie is taking a long while to happen, but I'd rather they not just jump into bed. Deep down, below my bitter pessimism, I am a romantic. So hit me up, but don't be too harsh. My ego is taking enough hits._

_On a lighter note, I realize that some things don't fit the ceremony from GA very well. Most noticeably, Addison's apparel, because we all know she'd get prettied up for Alex! And if Izzie appears more subdued than her usual, I feel it to be understandable. If McSteamy was ignoring me BC of some other girl while I waited on him hand and foot, I wouldn't be fan-freakin-tastic!_

_Okay, anyway. Please R&R._


	13. Just Missed The Train

Thanks for the feedback, to all those who reviewed, and those who continue to read this story. I don't want to leave a huge note before the story, so here's the little chappie I've been longing to get to...**ENJOY!!!**

"Just Missed the Train"

He had no intention of hurting her. In fact, he was pretty sure that if he ever did any wrong to her, he'd have a one-way ticket to hell waiting for him at the gates.

Mark wasn't super-human though. He had no way of telling that his taking Izzie out onto the terrace would lead to a small dance, to a small comfortable hold. Lead him to being informed of something that very much resided in her heart.

What Mark was, was human. His subconscious was clawing his way to his heart, but not accustomed to feeling such a thing, he'd shrug it off as just a little dirt trying to overtake his soul. He was closing in on his 40s, and he couldn't allow a little feeling of instinct interrupt him from finally having a real life. Not one that revolved around his work, or a dozen women, but rather the one life that revolved around one human. This was a fool-proof plan. He was the fool, and he had been provided with a plan, and all he had to was prove himself. It was simple, and right to the chase. No need to cause problems, to create riffs, or even try another plan that didn't have any guarantees.

He was tired of using up all of his warranties. So inadvertently, he pushed Izzie away. He didn't want to, at least not to his knowledge. He had so many walls, he wasn't even sure of the way around his own mazes. Nevertheless, he could even acknowledge that he was being a little too indifferent towards Izzie as of late. Not that he had been completely attentive to her in the past, but surely he paid more attention to her a month ago than he did now.

At least that's what he thought Addison meant when she was talking to him while Izzie and Alex were off dancing.

Even if Addison hadn't mentioned his attitude, he should have noticed it. Izzie was being a little cold, and a person like Izzie never got cold without good reason. Maybe you don't have to be super-human to read people. He was always good at reading people though, but Izzie had been different from the start. One moment he knew her perfectly, other times she would come out from left field and catch him by total surprise. As she did when she laid out her thoughts for him.

She pulled out of his grip as soon as the door closed behind her. The air was cold, the wind breezy, the atmosphere chilly, all three hitting them as they stepped outside. Compared to other nights in Seattle, however, it wasn't too bad.

Mark stood in front of the door, his hands in his pockets as he sought a place to warm his hands. He wasn't that cold, being that he had his jacket on. Izzie on the other hand, he could tell was quite chilly. The wind blew pieces of her hair out from her messy, but fitting bun. Her skin grew little goose bumps, but not many. She walked slowly to the fence, keeping them from getting to the lake. The moon hit the lake with a glowing reflection, providing more light than the lampposts. She crossed her arms and leaned over the black railing, her feet shifting every ten seconds ago.

He grinned to himself, in disbelief that Izzie could show such discomfort, and not even yell at him for it. He walked up to her, shrugging off his jacket during the short walk. Once he reached her, he placed it softly around her, and he could swear he saw he shudder when its intended warmth enclosed her. Maybe she was just caught by surprise. He leaned in closely to her, and stretched his arms out to the railing, playfully trapping her. He heard her mutter some incoherent words, and finally she pulled the jacket closer to her.

_That's more like it_, he thought as he grinned.

Still, it took her a few moments to turn around to him. When she did, her eyes spilled over him, and he suddenly felt vulnerable in front of her. As though she could read all his insecurities, tear off all his plastic skin, and expose his flaws.

His grin had fallen, and he found that they were both staring at the other, their eyes locked, but not a battle like the last time. It was something else, not quite a dare, but still an offer. He shifted his feet and tore his eyes off from hers, looking over her whole face instead. He couldn't take her looking at him in this way. So many emotions being emitted, and not being able to decode any single one.

"Why are you this close?" she whispered amid his thoughts. He brought his eyes back down, and he saw how she was holding so tight onto his jacket, that her knuckles had turned white.

He forced a smirk, but still with his eyes on her hands said," It tends to make women nervous."

She should have known he'd answer something so idiotic. Not to mention charming.

"Why do you want to make me nervous?" she whispered equally.

He shrugged and brought his eyes back to hers.

"Are you nervous?"

She rolled her eyes, and squeezed them shut.

He looked at her perplexed. He never remembered her shutting her eyes after rolling them. Usually her rolling eyes were followed by a snarky comment.

He heard her inhale deeply, and her eyes opened again, looking at him curiously.

"How long have we known each other?"

A random question.

"Well, I came to Seattle Grace less than a year ago--"

"Mark," she insisted.

"Nearing two months," he said, answering the question she really meant to ask.

She nodded, keeping her eyes on his.

"And your pact is nearing its two month mark," she said.

He nodded, not knowing where this was headed.

"That's very ironic," she laughed nervously.

He smiled with a confused daze. "What is?"

"Life," she breathed out. "What did Addison say?" she immediately said.

He shrugged. "Something about me not taking this wedding date seriously."

She scoffed. "Even she could tell," she said.

"I know I haven't best company for this thing," he started," but I'm putting in all my effort now, right?"

"Have you ever heard of too little, too late, Mark?"

He nodded again.

"Do you have any idea how many times I've felt that way? How many times I've been put dead last, but still I am expected to be right there when someone needs me? Because even I couldn't keep track. Because most of the times, I don't care whether I'm first or last so long as everyone I care about turns out okay enough to live. And then there's times when I refuse to be a victim. When I just need to feel alive for someone. And I haven't felt that since Denny died."

Looking down, she wiped some tears, and turned back around to the railing. "I probably sound like some ego-maniac," he heard her whisper perfectly.

"Izzie…" he rubbed her shoulders, not knowing how to answer her. Her shoulders relaxed, and he felt her lean back into him. She turned in around, and fell into his chest, his arms linking around her arms. Through his shirt, he felt a cold sting tainting his skin. He looked down at Izzie her blond hairs swaying out, her hands clutching his shirt.

Setting a hand free, he stroked the top of her head, and his other hand rubbed her back softly.

Izzie bit her lip, relishing his gentle touch. She opened her eyes, and inhaled the smell emanating from his chest before pulling her head away an inch.

"Izzie?" he asked her to look at him.

She looked up at him. He wasn't much taller than her, and she wasn't as short as the women before her. Especially with those heels on her.

-------

There was a rush. With him there always was.

Breathe, his eyes spoke. Yes, her heart spoke. Her eyes compulsively closed, and she leant into him. He hadn't moved an inch forward, she noted, but she still managed to land on him.

Lips met, a second of nothing happening, and even though she didn't feel him move, she did. She pressed her lips into him more. Her hands brushing up his arms, meeting around held his neck, and her body relaxed into him. And finally she felt the slightest movement from him. His lips parted a millimeter, but still enough for her to capture his bottom lip. She sucked lightly, and her hands ran down to his chest, where she felt his hands grabbing hers. He pulled her hands off, forcing her to move from him.

He looked down at her, confused.

"Izzie…" he spoke.

"No," she nodded, blinking back visible tears, "no Mark…"

"Izzie, I can't…"

"Love me?" she cut in, her eyes cutting across his worrisome gaze.

"What?" he breathed, an ounce of laughter coming from him.

Her eyes shot up, anger first, then pity.

"Oh God Mark. You just don't see it," and she laughed bitterly.

"Izzie, we--"

"Look at me Mark," she caught his eyes," When you look at me, what do you see?"

He scrunched his eyebrows, still not knowing what to answer her.

She gulped, knowing his mind was blank, or maybe he was far too afraid to voice anything. She honestly didn't know which she preferred.

"You don't have to answer Mark, because we both know what you _don't_ see when you look at me," she paused, gathering all her might to keep with this confrontation.

"You don't see Addison…" she paused again, to see if he'd answer to that.

"Because you're not Addison," was the first thing that came to his mind.

She gulped again. "And that fact alone has driven you to the point of having you think that because there is only one Addison Montgomery, then no other woman is even worth considering."

"Izzie, I do consider you and your fee--" he stepped forward.

"No, Mark. You consider me when it's in your best convenience. Like coming with me to this wedding. Whatever Addison wants, Addison gets, and if making up with your intern friend gets you there, then you'll deal with it," she crossed her arms, trying to hold herself together.

"What makes you think that?" he raised his voice.

"Do not get angry with me now--" her voice cracked," just not now."

He kept his mouth shut, trying to keep his blood from boiling. He knew she was being serious.

"Right now, I just need to talk. I have to…" she bit her lip, with her tears coming on stronger.

She drew a deep intake of breath and looked at Mark intently. He held her gaze, searching her eyes, hoping to read her. But he only saw fear.

"I haven't felt alive since Denny, at least not until you made me laugh," she contended with his eyes," I love you Mark."

His brows fell, falling from confusion to ache. Where had he driven her? He opened his mouth, but she nodded 'no', so he shut it.

"I am _in_ love you, and there's no doubt in my mind that I do in fact love you, but you don't see me like that. Because right now, the only thing on your mind, is your deliverance," she let a few moments of silence pass.

"You, you want to go back to the happiest times of your life. And that place is full of memories of you and Addison. You believe that if you transport yourself back with her, you'll have a guarantee of happiness and a guarantee that this time around, you'll be the perfect boyfriend," Izzie stared at him. His eyes fluctuated. Whilst his gaze remained on hers, his vision contained pains and unrequited hope. And she hated what she was going to tell him next.

"And I won't let myself take that from you. You want your second chance, your shot to prove you're not a man-whore, that you can make someone else happy? Then go for it. You have one week Mark, and I won't let anyone get in the way of what you want. So if you say Addison is what you really want, then I'll stay clear of the path," her voice trembled. Her tears blemished her cheeks. She held the jacket around herself even more tightly.

And it's not that he didn't want to run his thumb over her cheeks to drive out her tears, or that he didn't want to hold her better than his jacket. And he definitely didn't see her as Addison. It was just that he saw her as Isobel. Isobel 'I will kick your ass if you settle for second best' Stevens. And it's not that he hated that she was being a shadow of that woman right now, instead showcasing an Izzie 'I'm giving up and letting you choose what you think is best' Stevens. It's that his mind was warped, because her letting him choose was more Izzie-like than he'd seen in a while, to be brilliant.

There was just that thing about him, that for a brilliant doctor, the pieces were too muddled for him to make sense of them. It had been Addison for thirteen a years. That couldn't change now. They never had a real chance, and after 13 years, they were getting it.

It was that this was one of those rare times, in those 13 years, that he let his logic take a hold.

"I want Addison," his hands went to his pockets, his back straightened, and his feet pointed.

Izzie licked her lips and clicked her tongue.

"Good luck, Mark," she half-heartedly smiled. She took one last look into his eyes, promising herself it was the last time she would look into them so deeply, so she must remember the shade of blue, how much they glinted, and how deep they were. Her own eyes roamed the contours of his face, and with one last glance into his steely blues, she took off his jacket, threw it into his hands as civilly as she could, and left him alone on the terrace.

She only heard the echo of one set of footprints behind her, but the clicking was of heels, not something a man would generally wear. She brushed at her eyes bitterly, having hoped an ounce that Mark would follow her, and soothe her with a vow, not that it would be Meredith who would hastily chase her.

So much for her only hope.

----------

_Roll over baby  
The time has come  
To make a little bit more room  
I've hung around you  
It's getting tough  
I think I'm gonna break down soon_

_Cuz I remember  
Crying in the park  
It was getting dark  
Suddenly I looked up  
You were my sky_

_So go on  
And sleep darlin  
Why don't you pretend we were just a dream  
It's cool baby  
It doesn't matter anyway  
Well I'm so sorry  
We got to the station a little too late  
Such a shame  
We just missed the train  
We just missed the train_

_Be quiet angel  
Don't make a sound  
Save it for a rainy day  
Oh can't you see me  
I'm such a mess  
Trying hard to find my way  
Do you remember wasting all the time  
We were feeling fine  
Though we couldn't walk a line,  
We were all right_

_So go on  
And sleep darlin  
Why don't you pretend we were just a dream  
It's cool baby  
It doesn't matter anyway  
Well I'm so sorry  
We got to the station a little too late  
Such a shame  
We just missed the train_

_Oh why'd that train just pass us by  
Didn't anyone see we were stuck at the light  
And we would've made it on time_

_……………_

* * *

"**Just Missed the Train" -- Kelly Clarkson**

(I omitted some parts of the song, indicated by the ellipses)

_A/N: Some of the concerns that were addressed were things that were already on my mind, such as the slow progression of McStizzie, and the lack of interest on Mark's behalf. However, these things are important for me. For me, Mark being oblivious is something that would truly happen to him, seeing as how on the show he's always stuck on the idea of him and Addie being a couple. Also, I know some chappies are really long, but I have a hard time breaking a chapter into two when it feels it should flow together as one. And finally, my biggest dilemma--updates. I got this one quickstyle because half of it had been written a while back already. Other than that, well college gives you a lot of work! I don't mean to complain, but please be patient, because I honestly do not have as much time anymore. If you guys still have other concerns, feel free to address them. This story is for all the McStizzie lovers, and those repulsed by Gizzie!!! Ugh--okay, that's my peace._

**Please Review...**


	14. Four Words From A Heartbreak

A/N: This ch. style is different from previous ones, so don't be too surprised. Yeah, it makes me a little skittish, and I tried rewriting it, but this is how it flowed from my hand, and I can't change how a story comes to me. So don't be scared off. I'm pretty sure it's a one-time thing. Anyway, GA is finally back, there's more for me to work with. And yeah, what McSteamy said to Derek made me swoon. It also kinda made me squirm, but still it was hot. I always thought he came back more for Derek's sake than Addison's. It's kinda sad but cool how much he cares for his friend...can you tell I'm like head over heels for McSteamy? Sad, I know...Anyway, sorry for the rambling...**ENJOY!!!**

_I'm not going to say who's POV is whose--it's pretty much implied in the tones and references._ For this ch. purpose, italics equals thoughts.

"Four Words From A Heartbreak"

_I know it's not my place to judge, and I know I shouldn't spy on people, but when you're drunk you throw curiosity out the window and just do everything your parents always told you was impolite to do._

_So when I saw my friend going outside with a seriously hot guy, I had no choice but to follow them. Hell, I wanted a moment with McSteamy. Okay, don't tell McDreamy I thought that. He would seriously freak. Hold on, he had a 'girl at the bar' moment with someone who isn't me. I'm allowed an impure thought or two._

_Anyway, I watched them from inside and tried mighty hard for my super-hearing to kick in. Needless to say, my super-hearing idea didn't work too well. And I don't know how to read lips._

_So I squeezed my eyes, and the only thing I was able to read was the sadness in Izzie's expressions. When I saw a few tears coming from her, I wasn't very surprised. For goodness sakes, she cries watching_ The Tigger Movie _(why a grown woman is watching a Winnie the Pooh movie is beyond me)._

_What did surprise me was the fact that she was crying right in front of McSteamy. And her crying over Sloan is as confusing as her crying over_ Beauty & The Beast_--maybe I should blame Disney for everything. After all, aren't they the reason we all believe that even frogs can be our princes?_

_But the only way for me to figure out what was happening, was by asking her, and I couldn't just interrupt their…whatever they were doing._

_So I waited for Izzie. It took like ten minutes but I waited. When she did come out, it was too fast. One second she was saying something to Mark, the next she gives him what I assume to be his jacket, and then she's walking rapidly back inside. She gives me a two-second glance, and I don't wait. I just follow her. She knows I'm following her (yeah, like I can creep behind someone with these heels and this dress)._

_I follow her out of the ballroom, where she looks around frantically for a means of transportation. Not without talking to me first is she going to get out of there._

_Out in the lot, where Izzie waves for a cab, I yell to her, asking her what the hell happened. Yeah, subtle, I know._

_She looks at me like I'm crazy for a second, when she suddenly smiles very bitterly, and says_, "Within the span of one month and a week and a half I managed to fall in love with an asshole!"

I_ fall back, as she repeated the same thing she's told me some days ago, except now I knew it wasn't some twisted joke. I had been blind to it, because like all other dark and twisty people, I wanted to believe that self-confident people were far too sure of themselves to let obstacles get in their way._

_I walk closer to Izzie, and became more aware of how serious this all was. Pain was playing out over Izzie's features._

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you," _I whisper as I hug her._

"It's not your fault I turned it into a joke," _Izzie shrugs._

_After I throw around a few lines to lighten the mood, we finally catch a cap, and order it straight to our house, and at Izzie's request, I stay behind, for her to be alone. I comply, knowing Izzie needs to be alone. Anyway, I have some serious ass-kicking to do._

_But as I walked back inside, and felt her stomach complaining, and a stinking tickle in my throat, I re-thought the ass-kicking thing. Maybe it's best to leave it up to another person, or for another day, when I don't feel like McVomitting._

_

* * *

_

**Meanwhile**...(Meaning during the moment out in the terrace)

After a couple of songs, the band picked up the pace, and their slow dance was over. Although Alex didn't seem to notice this much. He still held her firmly in place, his head resting beside hers.

She whispered his name and he grinned. Her breath tickled her ear, and her hand was tugging at his jacket. He pulled out of the embrace and looked at her expectantly.

Without a word, they headed back to their table, sitting across from one another. As soon as he sat, he looked for a sign of Izzie, but shrugged off a bad inkling he was getting Izzie was a big girl. She didn't need to be looked after.

"Enjoying the night?" Addison asked him.

He nodded, and forced her to lock eyes with him. She smiled nervously and blushed, and she faced away from him.

"Addison," he whispered her name.

She whipped her head around and cocked an eyebrow, "Yes, Karev?"

"You seriously gonna give Sloan a second chance?" He had leaned in and brought his hands closer to hers, which were rested on the table.

"I'd rather not discuss that this evening," she said harshly.

He chuckled and leaned back into his chair. "You're still hoping he doesn't get it done."

She didn't respond to him, although they both knew very well that she didn't want to give Mark another chance. Sure, he was a good guy, but Addison simply didn't have any romantic feelings towards him anymore. And she was tired of just having a good lay.

Their silence was tension-filled, as all their feelings towards the pact filled the air, as their feelings towards each other went ignored.

"Remember when I said I didn't want you?" Alex asked her.

She scoffed. "How could I forget?"

"Know how I'm pretty much an idiot when it comes to emotions?"

She eyed him carefully, a smile ready to play out on her lips. She nodded.

"Which is why I tend to make things up," he confessed.

Addison's smile dissipated, and she gulped. Now was not the time for him to bring these things up. She always entertained the idea that he had lied to her, that he was interested in her. But she wasn't one to make a fool of herself over a guy. Not that she never had.

"I don't think you have to read my mind to understand what I'm saying," Alex interlocked eyes with her. They had, for a while now, been able to decode each other's looks and words.

"No I don't," Addison inhaled, "but I'm not one to quit a game right when I'm near the finish line."

Alex smirked. Game. This was all just a game. Alex stood abruptly from his chair and strode to her. He reached her chair and knelt down beside her.

"When your done with this game, you can come look for me. But I can't promise you'll find me," and he stood up, leaving Addison alone.

Addison rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly. Men had the worst timing in the world. Then again, she had been the one to initiate the plan, and had been the one to kiss Alex. She grabbed a champagne glass from a waiter and took it all in a gulp. When had she made this love thing even more complicated than it already was? Wouldn't it had been simple to just ignore Mark again and just jump Alex? She raised an eyebrow to her own amusement and thought that over again. Ignoring Mark again would have been easy, but she had a feeling if she had made herself so easily accessible to Alex, he would just wind up being an ass, and not really have appreciated her. It didn't matter though, because she knew there must be an easier way for everyone to be happy.

As her eyes made their way over the crowd, she noticed a very distraught looking Izzie Stevens marching out of the room, and Grey following her. She whipped her head around and looked for Mark, catching him on the opposite side of the room, with a dazed look. She smirked, with the realization that Mark had been hit with a few angst-filled words from Izzie, whether they were laden with romantic feelings or not, she knew that for Mark to be that dazed over a person's words, he had to have some very invested feelings he may not even know about. Taking another dose of alcohol, she almost bust out laughing. She had already played enough games, so she wouldn't write off the pact. She had a feeling that she needn't do anything for Mark's illusion of her with him to dissipate. It's a realization he'd make on his own, without one of her 'plans'.

_He may finish the 60 days, _she thought, _but I doubt he'll last 60 days with me. Soon as he's with me, he's going to realize the grass _isn't_ always greener on the other side._

* * *

_The house dark, the night cold, and heart bitter, I can only wonder how this has happened._

_Isn't it strange that mere months ago, I was completely in love with a man named Denny Duquette. I wanted to marry him, he wanted to marry me, and I risked my profession for his life. Isn't that what true love's about? Sacrifice and utter devotion?_

_And then I run into a closet, where a very irritated and selfish plastic surgeon comes in. I was hiding in a closet, hiding from a world that was judging me for sleeping with a married man. So it shouldn't have come as a surprise that the only person who wouldn't judge me come in and join me in my pity party. Except that he didn't pity, or try to justify my actions, and there were regrets voiced, but the remorse was minimal._

_It was so odd, so strange, and all the same, it felt like we had rehearsed these types of conversations a millions times over. I'd trash my own actions, and immediately he'd come up with a complement that made me feel like I wasn't a failure. In less than half an hour, a person came into my life and provided me with a different spin on life. A refreshing spin._

_And no, I didn't feel something right there and then. The only thing that came was discovery. Like hitting a gold mine that everyone, including myself, had thought was a bomb mine._

_Of course I didn't think 'gold mine!' when Sloan turned out to be a decent human being. One day, it just hits you. Everything builds up, while you're busy just casually enjoying hanging out with a person, and then BAM! You're jealous. And when you're jealous over someone who you previously thought was only hardly a friend, then you know you're in trouble._

_But seriously, I figured I was headed towards some trouble when Mark got this close and all I could think about was kissing him._

_Now, a month after that little brush with breaking lines, here I am, sitting up in my bed, doing some old breathing techniques they teach hyperventilating people to do. Just in my dark room, with something resembling tears on the brink of my eyes, and with my hands gripping my comforter as if it were some sort of lifeline._

_I swear I have never been this confused about what love really is. That sacrifice and devotion thing might as well be thrown at the window, because Mark has shown no sign of doing either for me. I know, I know--he never said he loved me, so I shouldn't be questioning what he thinks love is. But I did tell him that I love him. For reasons beyond my understandings, I am in love with McSteamy._

_Yeah, he gets me, and makes me laugh when I'm taking this hospital 'life' too seriously, and he has the most amazing, yet illogical advice. Of course, it doesn't hurt that he has got to be most gorgeous guy I have ever met. Or seen for that matter._

_And now I'm laughing. Like some mental person, I am laughing at absolutely nothing. And the strangest thing is that only when I start laughing, do my little tears start rolling down my cheeks. Yeah, crazy, I know._

_But now, I know why I'm laughing. Because life is too damn ironic, and I realize just how much I love Mark. It just sucks that I don't get how this could happen. I did love Denny, right? I mean, I do love him, right? He was sweet, and funny, and charming, and had that rugged-handsome looking thing going on._

_If I'd gotten to know Denny and Mark at the same time, it would still be Denny to whom I would become romantically attached, right?_

_If I ask these things aloud, will someone answer them?!_

Izzie's mind deteriorated. There was no sense in her thoughts, no answers that the universe could answer for her.

He shot her down, and this made her wonder if this was it for her, that'd she'd gotten stuck with a true love that would never love her back. Or was she simply looking too deeply into the situation.

Her eyes weighed down, and thoughts of her former fiancée swirled alongside thoughts of the man she currently loved. She was young. She still had time to find the prince Walt Disney promised her. If not, she could simply pass away one day and be reunited with a man who did love her.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

The rays crept in through her window, and her lids peeled back. Her back, she felt it to be sore, and she felt so groggy. She knew it couldn't possible turn out to be a good morning as she stood up in her bed. She looked down and grumbled as she realized she hadn't changed out of her bridesmaid dress. She stood up from her bed reluctantly and took a look in her mirror. Thank God she hadn't worn a lot of makeup, otherwise she would have looked twice as bad. Her eyeliner was running a bit, and her blush was practically all gone. Her face was pale, her hair looked daftly, and her dress was crumpled and twisted. She promptly pulled the zipper down and stepped out of the dress, and threw it on top of her bed. She was so not in the cleaning mood.

Izzie grabbed the first pair of sweats and sweater she could find, and dragged her feet to the restroom. Thereafter, she headed straight to her room, where she laid for another ten minutes before Meredith came knocking.

"Hey," she said from the door.

"Hey," Izzie answered her.

"I'm going to the park. With Derek. Not to the bar, not to an on-call room, but to the park. For a picnic," Meredith said.

"That's good--right?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah," Meredith smiled," That's good. So, you wanna come?"

"And be the third wheel? No thanks."

Meredith shrugged. "Okay. But Derek made extra sandwiches and other picnic stuff for you. If you get hungry, they're on the counter."

Izzie nodded to her, acknowledging the offer.

"You gonna be okay?" Meredith asked before she left.

"I'm not baking muffins, am I?"

"You're okay then?"

"I'm okay."

And with Izzie's final confirmation, Meredith finally left.

Nope, Izzie was not in the mood to bake muffins. And she wouldn't bake, nor speak very often to anyone but Alex for five days. She would sit out on the porch sometimes. Other times she'd sit in her room and watch TV. Sometimes she'd watch some movies in the living room. And when Derek would try to comfort her (at this point, Derek had been told the whole Izzie-and-Mark-Addison thing), saying Mark was out of his mind and couldn't be trusted to make sane decisions, she would start babbling about the best way to make a chocolate cake with strawberry filling. But most of the times, you could hear her singing like a broken cardinal from her room. The hours she filled doing this were the only times Alex didn't sit beside her, just as a sign for support. Because dude, to support someone, you need to be able to stand that person. And Izzie singing a sappy song off-key so did not become him.

But on the tenth day after the wedding, Izzie was up at around, or before, four in the morning. Meredith could testify to this because at six, a timer went off that had been set for an two hours. And when she dragged her grumpy ass downstairs to figure out what scent was invading her nostrils, she found Izzie pulling out chocolate icing, with a chocolate cake fresh out of the oven.

So now she was coping. After nine days of moping, of wasting their 17 day vacation, now she was coping. But a cake? Didn't coping usually deal with cupcakes or muffins? Since when had this evolved to cake-baking?

So instead of fighting this bad, bad evolution of baking, Meredith sat on the stool and waited for Izzie to finish the cake preparation. And she tried the cake after it cooled off, and watch warily as Izzie began baking another cake, this time a vanilla one. After an hour and 45 minutes, with Alex there to take the shift over, she took off for her day's activities.

And when Meredith would arrive later that day, she would come home to the aforementioned cake, along a fruit cake, a vanilla cake, and one coffee cake. And her first question would be--"Where's Iz?"

At which the current cake-sampler Alex Karev would respond, "Delivering a 'sorry for almost screwing up your marriage so here's some chocolate' cake to the O'Malleys."

Then she asked the thing that had been on her mind all day.

"Why today? For nine days, she stuffed her mouth with non-fresh baked goods. But lo and behold, today she's up at military hours and baking cakes. Cakes?!"

Alex stopped the mouthful of cake that was about to enter his mouth, and he set the fork down. He kept silent for a moment, finally he opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't get to answer her.

"It's day 60 Mer. The pact is over," Izzie said from behind Meredith, "Today, Mark and Addison are finally together."

Meredith stood stunned, and ashamed that she hadn't noticed Izzie's entrance. Izzie made her way around Meredith and set some grocery bags on the countertop. She started moving around, setting strawberries on the table, along with some new chocolate icing and cake ingredients.

"Mark once mentioned that his favorite cake is chocolate cake. With strawberry filling in the middle, with fresh strawberries spread throughout. And what a better way to celebrate his happiness then by making his favorite cake, right?" Izzie's voice trembled, but she regained her shivering posture as she began mixing the ingredients together.

It was a rhetorical question, so neither Alex nor Meredith bothered to answer the obviously cynical question.

The two sat in the stools for hours, as Izzie finished the cake. As the cake was being iced, and strawberries were added to the top, Derek came in and almost asked what was going on, due to the fact that everything was so quiet. But he didn't speak a word when he noticed that the cake Izzie was finishing off, was curiously enough, Mark's favorite. His girlfriend slipped him a note, saying '60 days today' and he understood. So he sat down with the others.

"Someone needs to deliver it," Izzie finally said.

They all looked at her, like she was some mental person. Which she did sound like.

"Deliver it?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, take it to the new couple," she said bitterly.

"Iz," Alex began.

"I'll take it," Derek volunteered.

Meredith began to protest, but Derek didn't wait. Izzie packaged the cake, along with some plastic forks and plates, and handed it to Derek. He began leaving with a cake, but Izzie stopped him at the door and said she'd forgotten to leave a note. She grabbed a post-it and scribbled a note, and stuck it on-top.

Derek glanced down at the cake he was to take to the man who once he could slightly be proud of. He read the note Isobel Stevens had left, and he smirked to himself. What a fortune cookie Mark was receiving.

In cursive, read the words Izzie wrote to Mark: _**HAPPY ANNIVERSARY**_

* * *

Okay, seriously, Derek's gonna deliver this cake. You'll also hear what was going through Mark's brain after hearing Izzie out. It was going to be in this ch., but to shorten this one and lengthen the next one, I'm going to shift it as part of the next chappie. **Thanks for the reviews,** and bear with me for a few or so more chapters... 

**PLEASE REVIEW...**


	15. Are You Happy Now?

_I haven't updated within three days in forever. So this is just a__ little something to hold you over 'till the next one...which is anything but little, plot-wise :)_

**Thanks for the Reviews**. Now, **ENJOY.**

"Are You Happy Now?"

It was ten at night, so Derek figured that they'd be at the hotel. In who's hotel room was anyone's guess, but knowing Addison, it was probably hers. So without wasting a single moment, he knocked on her door and waited several minutes for an answer.

He waited patiently, cake in hand, and smirk placed on his face.

The door finally swung open, and there stood Addison in a bathrobe.

"Why does this remind me of something?" Derek asked her.

She smirked and walked to the bed, leaving the door open for him to come in. However, he stood at the door, and glanced around for Mark.

"You coming in?" she asked him.

"You by yourself?"

She cocked an eyebrow and turned her head to the restroom. Right on cue, Mark came into view. But thankfully for Derek, this time Mark had on a more than a towel. Actually, he had on more than just a towel. Currently, he was buckling his belt around his pants, while muttering something under his breath.

"Leaving already, Mark?" he asked from the door.

Mark looked up immediately, to see Derek waiting at the door with something in his hands.

"What you got there, Derek?"

"A gift," Derek answered without hesitation.

Perplexed, Mark made his way over and looked warily at the package. He spotted the note atop and snatched it off.

Addison came over and peeked over Mark's shoulder, to read the note.

"_Happy Anniversary_," Addison muttered aloud.

She furrowed her brows and took the package from Derek's hand. She walked over to a table in the room, set it, down, and opened it cautiously. Mark however, remained in place, looking at the note in his hand.

"You okay there Mark?" Derek couldn't wipe the smirk off his face.

Mark failed to look up, and barely managed to whisper," Just great."

"I hate fruit scattered on cake. Defeats the whole 'getting gloriously fat by eating awesome sweet food'," they heard Addison mutter.

Mark whipped around when she said that, his suspicions confirmed.

He walked straight over to Addison, and grabbing a fork that had come with the cake, cut a small piece away. He took a bite, and a faint smile formed on his face.

It was his favorite cake. Made just the way he liked it, with fresh strawberries sewn over the icing.

Addison looked up at him curiously, still confused at what this cake meant, and more importantly whom sent it.

"It's from Iz--Dr. Stevens," Mark said, loudly enough for both Addison and Derek to hear.

Addison glanced at Derek and cocked an eyebrow at him. "Really?" she asked with an ounce of curiosity.

"Yes," Derek answered her with a smirk. "Question is, how did Mark figure it out?"

Addison grinned and leant over, and whispered in his ear," Yes Mark, how did you?"

He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, scowling, "I don't know too many people that can bake."

Addison nodded and walked back to the bed, throwing a wary glance to Derek.

"Okay, then," Derek smiled, "any…regards of some sort?"

Addison kept her mouth shut, and instead turned her gaze towards Mark. He seemed to be boring holes into the cake, and his brows were furrowed in so deep. He lifted his head, and with a fake smile he never knew he had in him, he said, "Tell her…nothing. Just that I don't deserve this…"

"You're right," Derek responded, and his smile suddenly fell," you deserve much, much worse. And she deserves better. So I'll tell her what you really meant to say: nothing." And with those words, he turned and left.

The pair felt an uncomfortable silence as they were left again. Mark pulled out the chair from the small table, and started eating more at the cake. Addison looked at him in disbelief. She still didn't know what happened between Mark and Izzie outside, at the terrace. Mark kept insisting it wasn't anything that had to do with her, anything that affected the two of them.

"You knew it was from her before you even saw the 'gift' was a cake," Addison commented from the bed.

"We've all seen each others charts at one point or another. I recognized the writing," he answered too quickly, and added quietly, "she's the only doctor that still attempts to write neatly."

She didn't answer to this, just let their abnormal connectivity thrive.

Then, without a real intention to speak to her, or anyone for that matter, he said " Why would she send me a cake?"

Knowing he was speaking to himself, Addison didn't answer, although she had the feeling that Stevens had sent the cake in response to some unreturned feelings. Although, she wasn't so sure on that last place. Especially by the way that day's events had turned out. The awkward date had been expected, but the after-date activities…well, anyone who knew Mark Sloan was allowed to have high expectations. But tonight, a flip switched (or rather didn't…) and things turned out pretty disastrous. Yes, even more disastrous than the date. She began to laugh hysterically, and Mark turned to give her a vicious look.

"It's not funny, Addison."

"No…" she stifled her laughs," What's funny is that you are the great McSteamy, and the fact that what just happened, or should I say didn't happen, is _not, _unlike what you proclaimed, that common, it _doesn't _'happen to every guy, ' and it _is _a big deal!"

Mark stopped eating and buried his face in his hands. He couldn't believe what hadn't happened. Things like this did not happen to guys like him. It didn't happen to him, period. Well, at least not before tonight. But seriously, what had caused him affect his sexual capabilities? Weeks ago he had been so eager for this date. Hell, he was pretty sure he had still been eager for the ending of the pact 24 hours ago, because he had actually agreed to take Addison out on a date before anything happened. Something she said about starting out the right way--the normal way. First date and all. He actually felt resolved to blame Addison. She must have known better than to push him to take her out prior to doing the deed. Obviously he wasn't very good in the dating scene, but he had agreed to a real relationship, so what the hell was he thinking? Oh yeah, that maybe the two of them could ride off into la-la land where she'd have his baby, a pure life to make up for the one he screwed up.

The fork fell from his hand, and he rubbed his eyes, still not able to connect the dots, unable to conceive what had made the evening he so highly had been anticipating for 60 days go horrendously wrong.

With her laughs finally ceasing, Addison sighed and said," I think it's best you call it a night Mark."

He stood up and grabbed his shirt from the floor. As he put it on, he turned to Addison and put on a half-assed smirk. He walked over to Addison, and leaned in to her, as she eyed him cautiously. He then grabbed his black leather jacket from behind her and winked. "Don't think this is over, Addison," and he turned to walk to the door.

"By the way this night went, I never would have guessed," she smirked at him as he closed her door.

He paused at the entrance and glanced over at the cake. Shrugging his jacket on, he walked back over and packed it up, grabbing the cake and the utensils. His hand then hovered over the note Izzie had written, and a small smile crept over him, a smile hidden from Addison's view. He snapped himself out of the thoughts he was having about Izzie's strange, little quirks, and he stuffed the note in his pants. He picked everything else up, and left without another word from either of them.

When he reached his hotel room, he would thump his head on his door several times. He sighed and walked to his own bed, throwing himself on it. He closed his eyes and linked his hands together, trying to forget everything, but he couldn't stop thinking about what had gone down in Addison's room. And for some reason or another, he was brought back to what happened ten day earlier. Could that be what had him so distracted, so disconnected from the place he was physically in?

-----

**Ten Days Earlier…**

He stared out into the space that she left vacant.

Time had apparently frozen. The water didn't recoil. The clouds didn't dissipate. Even the music seemed to be on pause.

His breath had hitched, and he wasn't sure exactly what he had done. He didn't force Izzie to fall in love with him. Hell, they'd only known each other for a total of two months.

He hadn't tortured her, at least not purposely. Yeah, he spoke an awful lot about Addison. He even ignored her half of the evening, and instead he paid attention to Addison. He didn't know of her feelings. Had he known, he probably wouldn't even had agreed to accompany her to the wedding.

Mark finally gulped, regaining his sense of time, and he swung the jacket over his shoulder. He didn't want to wear it, somehow it didn't feel right. He exhaled deeply and rubbed his face, wondering what in the hell drove them to this place.

_For a nanosecond, I was sure she wasn't leaning in for a kiss. I looked at her, building herself up again to do something insane, and it scared me. _

_As she leaned in, for the first time it was my brain that was going into overdrive, not my hormones. It was something that scared the shit out of me. That's how I reacted so quickly. How I knew to pull away before it went too far. But then she spoke. With confidence, with self-assuredness, with honesty. How many times has Addison done that? Just told me straight out what she's feeling. How many times has she actually done something for my sake? Huh, probably as many times as I have done something for her sake._

_None._

_Izzie isn't Addison._

_Addison isn't Izzie._

_Despite all the similarities, they are completely different. But the end path has always been lonely. No person waiting for me on the other side. I only have this career, and everyone swears there's no one better in the field. But there's nobody I see waiting for me to come to them when I retire. Might as well work forever, right?_

_But Addison, she's giving me a shot to retire. How can I pass that up. She doesn't have anyone, just like me. We have that chance to be each other's backup, which is a foolproof retirement plan._

_And Izzie, she has a lot of chances of finding a good man. Someone who can live up to her expectations and tell her that she's not just a first choice. She is the only choice. I can't give her that. I'm not the good guy. I'm the guy you settle for. Believe it or not, behind this flawless face, and this charming smile, I have a tendency to screw people over. Literally. _

_Not that that's gonna happen this time. No, I'll work my ass off to show Addison I'll be more than what Derek was. I'll be what she's never had._

_I'll live up to her expectations._

_You never had to live up to anything with Isobel, I hear my frickin subconscious._

He sighed and looked up to the sky, and decided to call it a night. No one stopped him as he left the ballroom, and he didn't look out for Addison, nor did he strain his ear to hear her voice. He looked straight to exit, feeling too many burdens to add on any unnecessary ones.

This pact. It had started out as something fun. He'd get Addison, prove he could be a one-woman man, and be more content with himself. God, that must sound so selfish. Making someone else happy just to make yourself feel less guilty about yourself. Wasn't that what love was about, anyway? Twisting your arm for another person, so that you won't be guilt-tripped?

Many times Mark would look at himself and say 'Who are you fooling?' He never liked lying to himself. But Mark wasn't an old-adage wise man. He didn't know it all. He didn't know love. All he knew was that his fantasy of a real family was formulizing with the woman he had sworn 13 years ago he was going to make fall in love with him. His best friend had beaten him to the punch, but there was no such person stopping his stubborn ass now.

Anyway, Addison loved him. She did love him, right?

-------------

He let out a disgruntled frustration, and threw a pillow at the wall. He threw his head back against the pillow, but nonetheless, those thoughts that had gone through him that night kept flooding his mind.

Mark Sloan was having some serious issues.

* * *

Does anyone recognize that line, 'Is_ not_ that common, it _doesn't_ happen to every guy, and it _is_ a big deal!'? I just love that line, and kudos if you can figure of where it's from...Anyway, I just wanted to add that Addison's discontent with the cake is just a bit of my personality falling into the story. Seriously, I will never understand the point of adding fruit in any sort of desert. Only defeats the purpose, is all I'm saying. Now adding sweets to a fruit, I understand. Sorry for goin on about my quirks...**PEACE.**

**Please Review**


	16. Diary

**Thanks for the Reviews.**

I actually have a disclaimer for this chapter--I don't use 'em cause what's the point really? We all know that if anyone owned any part of GA, Izzie wouldn't be the hot mess she is now. This includes some of 3x20, episode "Time After Time," s.t. that belongs in no way to me. There are some changes in the show's dialogue, b/c the circumstances are different. For the sake of this story, and to not have to incorporate some explanation in it, George is repeating his intern year at Mercy West. Okay, **ENJOY!!!**

"**D**iary" (Alicia Keys)

_A week later_

"I hate my interns. And they hate me. And oddly enough, I don't think I care."

"I hate my interns. They called me Dr. Burke. And I do care."

"My interns are cool. They fear me. Just the way I like 'em"

"My interns are normal. It's scary, they think they've got it made. But, whatever. I got McDreamy. Lexie doesn't."

"I've got a female interns who like sleeping with the higher man."

"I got Burke's lucky cap."

"I had cake. But I gave it up. Without ever tasting it. And someone else got the cake, and ate it too."

"What's she talking about?" Christina turned to Meredith.

"McSteamy," Mer said, getting a nasty look from Izzie, "What? Everyone knows."

"Everyone knows I'm in love with McSteamy and that I save Disney characters instead of people? That's frickin awesome," Izzie retorted.

"I thought you said you didn't care what your interns thought?" Christina said.

"And I thought you didn't want to be remotely identified as Mrs. Burke?" Alex smirked.

"We're all screwed up, Alex. We don't mean anything we say," Meredith sighed. They all looked up the ceiling as they sat on the gurney, isolated from any other medical staff. They sure had found a lovely place to eat, drink, and be anything but merry. But even havens were invaded once in a while.

The new residents were interrupted from their depressing thoughts by some interns who had decided to go on a scavenging hunt or something. Christina and Alex rightfully sent them off, saying no interns allowed, and then decided that maybe they should get back to work. They all resigned to this idea, because, seriously, God forbid they don't save a few lives for half an hour each day, it's only their job.

Izzie walked behind her friends--hey, she wasn't even their competition today. They had actual medical cases, and she didn't, so she wasn't going to bother in being the first in line. But Meredith strayed behind and grabbed Izzie's arm.

"Hey," she stopped her," you okay?"

Izzie shrugged, and attempted to keep walking.

"Iz," Mer pulled harder.

Izzie sighed and rolled her eyes. She turned to face Meredith and cracked a big toothy, fake smile. "You happy?" she said through gritted teeth.

Meredith laughed lightly. "No, but if you can keep that act up, then you'll fool everyone else. Except Alex. He's an ass, but for some reason, he always knows when someone's lying," Meredith sighed.

"Only because he's an expert in that field," Izzie replied, agreeing with Meredith.

And so they kept on their frickin merry way.

As they would for the next few days to come. Izzie just doing her job, baking muffins (hey, it was a big step considering the last week she'd practically gone into the pie-making business), just trying to keep it together for her friends, who had their own little dramatics to deal with.

* * *

_A few days later_

"I have a question for you, Derek," Mark breezed through the neurosurgeon's door, and closed the door behind him.

"Yes, Mark, you are an inconsiderate jerk, undeserving of Addison. Although, at this point, I would say the two of you are equals. You cheat, and she tricks. So, in retrospect, you two do deserve each other," Derek swirled around in his chair and gave Derek a sly smirk.

Mark rolled his eyes and grabbed a chair, in which he sat, leaning forward to continue speaking.

"When you and Addison were.." he cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable, "You know, giving the marriage another try…"

He hesitated and averted Derek's slightly amused gaze. He sat up and flexed his shoulders. Looking at Derek directly, he said, "Alright, here it is. Addison and I aren't exactly having an easy time having our bodies function the way they should--"

"Oh, for goodness sakes, Mark!" Derek's face contorted and he stood up

"Hey, from what I heard, you two weren't having an even easier time!" Mark yelled back.

"Th-that was different!"

Mark stood up, and crossed his arms as he raised an eyebrow. "Could you explain how?"

Derek turned around and sighed. "Fine--continue," Derek waved a hand at Mark.

Mark shrugged and looked at the wall behind Derek, still not completely comfortable.

"Alright, what's the problem--and spare gory details please," Derek said.

Mark cleared his throat again, and muttered something beneath his breath.

"What?" Derek crossed his arms and furrowed his brows.

"I--" Mark couldn't say it so easily," I…I can't get it up, alright?! Sheez, you happy?!"

Derek bit his upper lip and looked down at the floor. He rubbed his face and turned to face the wall.

"Okay, Derek, if you're gonna laugh, just get it out of your system," Mark grumbled.

Derek started laughing, and he turned to look at Mark. He howled even louder and wiped the tears of laughter from the corner of his eyes.

"I'm-I'm sorry, but God, you so had it coming!" Derek continues laughing.

Mark looked at him, his bruised ego showing in his features.

"I mean so many years of abuse?!"

"So what, it's defective now?!" Mark screamed.

"Oh, come one Mark, you're a doctor," Derek calmed down, "you know it's not a medical deficiency."

"I know, "Mark scratched the back of his head," which is why I have no idea what to do about it."

"Well, I can't help you there," Derek took back his seat," even if I could, I don't think I would be willing to share my knowledge. Your choices have ensured that."

"I thought you were past the infidelity issue," Mark remarked.

Derek gave him a blank stare, and shrugged, "Never said anything about an infidelity issue."

"Then what?" Mark scowled.

"You finish the cake, Mark?" Derek asked cryptically.

But this wasn't rocket-science. Mark could decode whatever Derek ever told him.

Mark rolled his eyes, and sat back down, sighing tiredly," Is there an Izzie-alliance I should know about?"

Derek nodded his head disappointedly. "Why Mark?"

Mark looked at him, confused, unable to decode that question.

"Why Addison? Do you really love her? Do you actually believe she loves you?"

Of course could not answer this, he could only continue to look at Derek as if he was speaking in another language.

"I have no doubt in my mind that those three questions are the same ones Izzie has been having, and that's why she can't be 100 happy for you. If you could say yes, without hesitation, to any of those questions, she could at least spend a moment with you, could encourage you, and not have you feeling guilty instead," a look of repressed realizations loomed over Mark's eyes," Yes Mark, what you're feeling is guilt. And that, along with not being able to say yes to any of those questions, is the reason why you and Addison are having such difficulty 'consummating' your relationship."

Mark immediately stood and left the office in a huff.

_You try being honest_, Derek twirled back around and slumped over his desk. Despite his anger towards Mark, what he felt above everything else was frustration for Mark. He had such a tendency to go down the easy path--the one that didn't have another fork in the road. Just a one-way street, in which he could perceive the repercussions. Unknown possibilities be damned, right?

**GAGAGAGAGA**

He felt like pounding a few walls over, but he had to keep as much control as he could. He didn't like what Derek had told him, but honestly, it was nice having someone being blunt to him again.

Still, his head spun. It shouldn't have, really. These things he had been told, had been explanations that had already been going on in his mind. To have them spoken aloud though, it was far beyond surrealistic. He kept shaking his head, trying to pour out all those things he'd suppressed, but something was stuck. Something just wouldn't get out. Slowly, over the past two weeks, he had been making his own conclusions that perhaps he and Addison just would not be able to have a loving, or even normal relationship.

If he could be making sense of this, then what was it that was stuck?

What--?

Mark stopped in his steps, having just passed the restrooms, he swore he had heard a sobbing woman. But not just any sobbing woman, but--. He took a few steps back and stuck his ear out, straining to hear the echoes coming from within.

He relaxed against the wall, as he listened in. There was no denying it. It was Izzie's voice. He walked closer to the women's bathroom entrance, to be able to listen to her words. He knew that tone in Izzie's voice. Something was paining her…but what?

"Please don't tell anybody, please. This isn't a chapter in my history that…" he heard Izzie say.

"I understand," he heard a distinct voice, unmistakably Bailey's.

"She's here…," he was having a hard time hearing every word. There was some frantic screaming in the hall, and he lost a fragment of Izzie's words. "…she would be sick. Oh God, I don't know…what do I do…"

And there was intermission of silence, no one speaking. Fearing they would come out, he stepped away from restroom, and instead began talking to a nurse. Moments later, Izzie and Bailey came out. Izzie's eyes were a bit red, and she glanced at him quickly, taken aback by his presence, but in a moment's gaze, he swore her eyes were pleading for some help or something, but she kept moving forward.

Mark couldn't leave well enough alone though, and he followed behind them cautiously, making himself unknown. He stopped before the nurses station, where Bailey told some interns that she would be taking over for Dr. Stevens for the rest of the day. She said Dr. Stevens would be busy, and no one was to ask any questions, or talk about Dr. Isobel Stevens.

Bailey and Izzie then left his sight, going into another wing of the hospital.

He went over to the nurse, and tried charming her into telling her where the two had gone off. Unfortunately, it took Mark a while to realize the nurse was being honest when she said she had no idea. Besides standing still and looking pretty, what good were those nurses?

So now he had no idea where Izzie had gone off, but he wouldn't give up so easily. He then decided he could interrogate her friends, and first on the list was Meredith.

The nurse was able to direct her in Meredith's direction, and he quickly went. He found her outside the hospital, with a brood of interns standing behind her, waiting for an approaching ambulance. He tried waving her over, but she pretended not to see him. Mark groaned, and jogged over to her.

"Dr. Grey," he tried grinning.

"What?" she asked angrily, glancing around.

"Do you know what's going on with Stevens?" he tried acting casually.

"Why do you care?" she looked at him suspiciously.

He seemed at a loss for an answer, as he kept opening his mouth and shutting it.

"That's what I thought," and she stepped around him.

"I'm worried," he said as he turned around to her.

She faced him, and cocked an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"I heard her talking with Dr. Bailey, and they have been going through this hospital, avoiding everyone. Izzie…she didn't sound right. There's something going on," he looked her in the eyes, trying to be demanding without being a dictator," Please tell me where she is, or at least what's going on."

"I can't. If she wanted you to know, Mark…" she hesitated.

"She gave me a look when she passed me. She wants help. She does want me to know," he smirked," she just doesn't know that she wants me to know."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Fine. She's upstairs, in Procedure Room A. That's all I know."

He genuinely grinned. "Thanks," and he rushed off towards Izzie.

"She is so going to kill me for that," Meredith muttered to herself.

* * *

Sure she wanted a friend there. Someone to hold her hand, to help her through this. Not just physically because of course the procedure was going to hurt, but the emotional aspect was million times more difficult. Knowing that her biological daughter didn't want to see her--that's difficult for anyone and everyone. 

More than anything, she felt angry at herself. Why couldn't she just ask for help? Why was she stubborn? Although, in her defense, the look she had shot Mark should have been the greatest indicator that she wanted support from someone. As she laid on her stomach on that table, she looked back up to Bailey and smiled faintly.

"We can still call someone in?" she suggested.

"No," Izzie nodded adamantly," I'll be fine."

Bailey nodded and kept beside her. As the doctor prepared to begin, they heard someone rush in through the door. Bailey looked up, and her facial expressions roughened as she saw it was Dr. Sloan who arrived.

"Dr. Sloan? Who invited you?!"

Izzie turned her head, only to find that Mark was in fact there.

"No one," Izzie spoke up, "he is NOT invited!"

"You heard her Dr. Sloan. LEAVE," Bailey commanded.

"You're giving bone marrow?" Mark bent down in front of Izzie, ignoring Bailey.

"This is a private matter," Bailey insisted.

"She needs me here," Mark looked to Bailey.

"You don't want to be here," Izzie blinked back tears, but her resolve maintained.

"I'm here," Mark whispered, focusing his eyes on hers, "Just let me stay here."

"Mark…" she closed her eyes.

"I won't ask anything," Mark promised.

She opened her eyes again and nodded to Bailey. She turned her attention back to Mark, and nodded in agreement with him. He didn't let her eyes go, just let her attention be on him instead of on the doctor performing on her.

"He's got it," Izzie put a little faith in him. So Mark nodded to Bailey, who kept looking at him like he was insane--of all the people to show up for Stevens…

"Fine, Stevens, I'm going unless you need me to call security," and she left the room.

"You could have trusted me," Mark said when Bailey was gone.

"No talking," Izzie said coldly.

He nodded, and had to restrain himself from smirking. No matter what, Izzie always had to be so damn stubborn.

He took her hand, and he felt her flinch, so he enveloped it with both hands, and throughout the whole procedure, he held her like this. Every so often, she'd grunt and close her eyes in pain, but she'd always bring her browns down to his blues, as he calmed her down with just one look.

--------

"Alright, I'll just get a nurse to help you out…" the doctor began.

"No," Mark interrupted him, "I'll help her out."

Izzie gave him a look of discontent. She hated how he had to come to some sort of rescue for her. Why couldn't he just leave her in her own misery. The doctor left, and they looked at each other, inspected each other, unsure of what to do or say.

After several minutes, Izzie sat up in her bed, and she grunted.

"The wheelchair helps," Mark shrugged, "You're gonna be sore."

"Yeah, but I'm fine now. Thank you," she averted his gaze.

"You gonna fight me on everything?"

"On nearly as much as you fight me," she said as she grabbed her pants.

Her movements were slow, and she was having a difficult enough time holding the pants in her hand, so he stepped closer to her. Without asking or offering for help, he took the pants from her hands. They stared at each other for a moment, until Mark looked at the pants and said, "You might need to st…"

"Yeah," she nodded an stood.

He held her hand, and kept his eyes off hers. He held her by the waist, and heard her intake air sharply, and he felt a tang of guilt.

"Don't move," he whispered, now feeling the tension in the air, afraid he'd break the atmosphere charged with so much emotions.

Izzie lifted a foot, and he knelt down, inserting one pants leg in. His finger brushed her leg, and he could have sworn the mere shock from that could have lit a room. He felt her hands resting on his shoulders, as she tried supporting the weight of her body on him. He gulped, and her foot stepped back down. His hand began to tremble, and he had to take a moment to still it. She lifted her next foot, and he did the same with this one. However, when his fingers brushed over her skin this time, he let it linger a little longer, and he knew their electricity could actually light the entire free clinic.

He began pulling them up by the waistband, and the pants were finally on her waist. He stood dangerously close to her, cheek to cheek with her, her hot breath on his neck, as he drew the strings together.

"I got it," she whispered in an acute breath.

"Yeah," he breathed, stunned at the intensity of the last minute.

He stood up, and tried focusing on other things. He couldn't go through this realization now, not when he'd just proven he wasn't some floundering person.

Mark took a step aside, and Izzie sat down again.

She didn't know if she was kidding herself, but she felt compelled to tell Mark. Like she needed him to know every bit of her, especially after the compassion he'd shown her.

"Hannah, an 11-year-old girl. That's the private matter. She's mine," Izzie said. She drew Mark's eyes to her, and he consented, sitting down next to her.

"My mother wanted me to keep her but I knew even at 16, I knew that baby deserved better then life at a Chalis trailer park. And now she's here and she might be dying and she doesn't wanna meet me. Oh, crap. I didn't think I really cared until she said no. And I thought I could just leave well enough alone, with you. How bout that? I can pray to Denny until I join him, but even then I still miss you Mark. Just the way we shared things, it was like…" she bit her lip as a few tears came.

"Our trains of thought were in sync?" he offered as he stared down at his hands.

She laughed with her tears. "Yeah," she sniffled," among other things."

"I'll get an orderly to take you downstairs. I gotta do something, but…" Mark paused. He turned to face her," What you just did for that girl? That's something to be damn proud of."

Izzie smiled softly and faced him. "Thank you for this, Mark. You didn't have to…"

She still looked hurt when she looked at him, when she talked to him. She looked grateful for him, grateful that he had actually taken the time to be there for her. Nevertheless, you could still see the beating she had taken in him choosing another woman.

Mark nodded, knowing what Izzie was trying to tell him. He stood up and walked over to the door. He swung it open, but hesitated in walking out. He had too much to say to her, so instead he turned around and gave her his best smile. She returned the smile involuntarily, and he felt slightly better at her being.

"I'll take you to see her," he said and left.

**GAGAGAGAGA**

He met her at the pediatrics room, after he changed from his medical attire. He gave her a small smile, and began taking her over to the window, and he knelt down beside her.

He tilted his head to the window. "She's right in there," he whispered.

"Can you…," Izzie breathed in," look at her?"

Mark nodded and stood up. He leaned into the pane, and squinted as he looked for the girl. He saw her off to the left, and smiled at seeing the instantly recognizable girl.

The girl's features were just like her mother's. He turned back to Izzie and said," Her eyes are exactly like yours. Got your mouth too," he smirked.

"Probably uses it to yell at the people she cares about most," he smiled at Izzie.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. He walked back over to her and stretched out his hand. She glanced at it warily, but made up her mind and took it. He helped her up, and she walked over to look at her daughter.

"Oh my God. That's her, Mark. That's Hannah," she smiled proudly.

"Yeah."

"She's beautiful, she's really beautiful."

"Hmm, wonder where she got it from," Mark said sarcastically.

Izzie rolled her eyes. She elbowed him and laughed.

"She got it from…" Izzie paused.

"Her mother," Mark finished, and he stayed beside her as she spent a few, several minutes looking at the girl behind the mirror.

"I'm ready," Izzie said after her moment.

Mark nodded , and he led her back to her wheelchair.

"Question, though," he said as he rolled her out of the room," Who's taking you home?"

She rolled her eyes. "You can't take me Mark."

"I didn't offer," he remarked.

"You were implying an offer," she retorted.

He stopped the chair and went to kneel in front of her.

Her eyes flitted from the floor to his eyes, but still he spoke. "I'm taking you," he decided.

"You have surgeries," she battled him.

"How do you know?" he cocked an eyebrow.

"They were on the board," she shrugged.

He smirked," Well, thankfully, I have the power to change them around."

She exhaled and mumbled a 'fine,' knowing there was a one in a million chance that he would relent. He grinned and stood up, going back to wheeling her to his car.

* * *

**Please Review…**


	17. Must Be Nice

"Must Be Nice"

She found it odd that Mark would go to such an extent to ensure her safety. For her own sake however, she was going to contribute his actions as guilt-ridden ones. Just really sweet, considerate, caring, and thoughtful acts of kindness, that come from a very stupid-making decisions kind of friends. Yup, that was just Mark being Mark. Nothing more, nothing less.

This kept buzzing through her mind, which was probably the reason she could not stop changing the radio stations in his car. She would hear ten snippets of a song or commercial, and go back to changing it. She could tell Mark kept giving her annoyed glares, but she was too preoccupied with finding a station that fit her mood. Okay, so there was no proper station at this moment, hence the constant changing of stations, but still, she had to move. She could not just sit still in his car, and she was not going to say a word. Nope, no talking aloud. Every time she spoke, things did not get much better. In fact, she felt more pressure building when she had her little outbursts. Well, at least she could breathe now that she didn't have the one major feeling hidden inside her.

And at least Mark didn't say anything to stop her from changing the stations. Even though she could hear him muttering under his breath, and he was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel the whole time.

"Make a left here," she was directing him the whole time. He wouldn't answer, but she could see him nod out of the corner of her eye.

"Third house on your right," was her last direction.

She attempted getting out of the car before he made it to her side, and she was somewhat successful. She slid off her seat, hanging onto the door the whole time, and she rested against it as she tried willing herself to support her own body.

She felt him near her, and she gave him a glaring eye, at which he smirked. "I'll get your chair," he said, knowing better to offer her a hand at this point.

He put the wheelchair in front of her, and she went through her mind how exactly she was going to get in their without some pain.

"Izzie…" Mark said after a minute.

She held up a finger. "Just give me a minute," she snapped.

He nodded his head at despair, and just wrapped an arm around her waist.

She yelped and slapped his arm. "I'm fine!" she yelled.

He laughed. "It's cold Izzie, I'm not going to catch a cold just because of your stubborn ass."

"Oh, I'm the stubborn ass," she snorted as she tried pulling away from him.

"That you are, Stevens," and he lifted her legs with his other hand.

"I do not need your help," she grumbled at him as he sat her down in the chair.

He pulled his arm from her back, and kneeled down in front of her. "You were saying?"

"This is not over, Sloan," she crossed her arms and looked away, as though undignified by him.

He laughed and pushed her inside the house.

"How long before your friends get here?"

"It's going to be a while," she answered him.

He had taken her to the living room, and made himself comfortable on the sofa.

"But I can take it from here."

He turned his head to her. "Where's your room?"

"Up the stairs."

"Can you climb the stairs?"

"I can walk, I'm not paralyzed."

"So you're saying is that in your slightly immobile state, you can climb without harm?"

"It's not impossible."

"It just takes twice the time, and twice the effort."

"I'll stay on the couch."

"Without blankets or pillows?"

"Why the hell do you want to help me?!" she screamed abruptly. He closed his mouth and turned his head from her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know where that came from."

He nodded melancholy and stood up. He reached into his pocket, and took out the sleeping pills the doctor prescribed in case Izzie had trouble sleeping. He shook the bottle for a few seconds, staring into it, before finally placing it on the coffee table. He walked around the sofa, and around Izzie, and made his way to the door.

Before she could stop the words from coming out of her mouth, her instinct to stop him kicked in, and she said loud enough for him to hear," Did you like the cake."

He stopped in his steps and turned around, to where he was facing her back. He stood in his spot, frozen for a moment, as he fought all the comments in his mind to choose just one.

'It was perfect' kept coming back.

"Yes," he said to her.

"Good," she whispered as she looked down in her lap.

"Couldn't finish it on my own, though."

"What, you didn't share with--."

"She's not a fan of desserts with healthy food."

She smirked to herself. Maybe she did have some luck left in her. Addison hadn't eaten the cake.

"So am I going to stay here, talking to your back?" Mark asked.

She turned the chair around, and readily faced him.

"I'm tired--I mean sleepy," she said.

He nodded. "Alright."

"You can help me up the stairs--if you want. You don't have to, it's totally a choice"

He grinned. "Totally?"

"Ugh. I hate when I do that."

"You're not the only one."

"Shut up, Sloan," she rolled her eyes.

"I'm not so sure I want to help you anymore," he feigned a frown.

"Well, good thing it's an option," she sighed a pathetically fake act of indifference playing in her eyes.

"Well, if you're gonna give me that horrible look…" he went over to her chair. She wheeled herself to the entrance of the stairs.

"Here's where it gets difficult," she mused.

"I could just carry you," he shrugged.

"You are just trying to cop a feel," she cocked her head to him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Then what do you suggest?"

She drew in a breath. "Help me up."

"Yes, Master," he said sarcastically.

"It's chief," she retorted as he helped her up.

"What now, Chief?" he smirked.

She stood to his right, and grabbed a hold of his arm with her left hand. With her right, she clutched the stairwell handle. Imitating her gesture, he strengthened his arm, and with his left grabbed his side of the stairwell handle. Step by step, she pulled her legs up, grunting when she hit a sore spot. Mark waited for her, trying to pull as much of her as she would allow. She kept throwing him small smiles, eyeing him every time she paused on a step to breathe. They made it to the top, and she said to keep going, to keep walking.

He pushed her door open, and helped her over to the bed. She lessened her grip on his forearm, letting go completely when she was safely seated on her bed. Closing her eyes, she relished in the softness of her bed, and smiled to herself at finally being in her comfort zone. Technically, she had a couple of other comfort zones, but this one was perfect for the time being.

She opened her eyes to see Mark grinning down at her.

"What?" she frowned.

"Nothing," he answered, locking eyes with her.

"That's what Derek said you thought about the cake."

Exhaling in realization, Mark took a second to think over what he had really said to Derek.

"I told him that in regards to the cake, there's nothing to say--but then I added that I didn't deserve it."

She bit her lip and drew her eyes to the ceiling.

He looked as she did this, as tears welled up in her eyes. He found her silence to hurt, found that the hard grips she had on the sheets, pained him.

"Izzie?"

"That you didn't deserve it?" she threw at him then. "Seriously, that's all you could say?"

Dumbfounded, he couldn't find a way to answer her, and just stood transfixed.

"Because you did deserve it, Mark. You survived 60 days without sex, and you got your precious Addison," she struck him, "if a cake doesn't say 'congratulations' then I don't know what does."

"I'm sorry, Izzie," he whispered.

"Sorry?" a bitter tone escaped her. "For what, for making me fall in love with you, or for choosing someone who is not in love with you?" she paused to see if he'd retort, but she could only see fuming breaths coming from him. "Huh, and you cannot even fight me on that. You know she doesn't love you, but you're still with her."

After a brief moment of silence, and wanting a moment of space, she told him, "You forgot the pills downstairs. And there are water bottles in the fridge."

It took him several seconds to catch her request, but when he did, he went back downstairs to grab some water and the pills for her.

When she heard him descending the stairs, she released her tears, allowed them to roll down her cheeks. She grabbed a box of tissues from her nightstand, and blew her nose. She wiped her cheeks, and her eyes.

He's close. He's almost there. He knows it. He just can't say it aloud. But he will.

But that was all she could tell herself. She couldn't tell herself, _and then he's going to look at me, and say I love you. You're it. _A girl could only promise herself to someone else so much.

---------

"Did you fight the boogeyman on your way back, because even that wouldn't take me five minutes," Izzie remarked when Mark handed her a water. By the time he came back, Izzie had already lied herself in bed, and she had been steadily looking up at her ceiling.

"I got distracted," he answered cryptically.

"By the phone?"

"You heard it ring?"

"It's hard not to hear Right Said Fred singing 'I'm too sexy'" she laughed.

"It's the only ring tone that fits," he shrugged.

Izzie rolled her eyes. She sat up to drink a couple of pills down, and after setting the bottle and the water on her nightstand, she lay back down.

"So, how long 'till these kick in?"

"Depends on your metabolism. But they will get you feeling more tired by the minute."

"Right," she nodded.

Izzie glanced around her room, not knowing what to do now. She would feel the side effects of the medicine kicking in soon, so there was no reason for him to stay anymore. He could leave right now if he wanted. There were no more excuses. She didn't need help now, didn't have to keep him around. But she wanted to. Just for another moment, she wanted him to be there. She also wanted to know some things…things that could hurt her, but she yearned to know. Thankfully, Mark struck a conversation before she could even ask about Addison.

"How are things as a resident?" he instantly changed the subject. She was glad though, because once he'd answered, she knew she couldn't bear to hear of him and Addison.

"Fine, although now I know why you can't stand interns."

"They're not all intolerable," he smirked.

"At this point they are," she rolled her eyes. She looked at him standing at the foot of her bed. She patted her bed, indicating for him to sit.

He eyed her curiously.

"You can either sit on the bed, or on the floor. Your choice."

He smirked and took a seat on the bed, folding a leg beneath him so he could face her.

"So what makes them so intolerable, after only three days?"

"Too many things." she grumbled.

"I got all night."

She smiled softly at him and began.

…….

"…so that's it…," she yawned," but they've probably got more intolerable things about them just waiting to annoy me."

Her eye kept drooping, and her speech kept getting quieter and softer.

"I'm going to let you sleep now," Mark whispered. He began to get up when a hand reached for him.

"No, not yet," she said with eyes closed.

"You're practically asleep already," he whispered.

"Don't go," she pulled her eyelids back, "I promise not to fall asleep if you stay." She mumbled this in-between a yawn.

He smiled and instinctively patted his hand over her forehead, over her hair.

"Hmmm," she looked up at him dreamily.

"You have to sleep."

"I'll sleep if you stay." He stilled his hand on her head, and he thought about this warily. This was just some half-asleep request that his head was telling him to ignore. She'd probably forget about this the moment she awoke. Pills did that to you, made you kind of numb and somewhat forgetful.

"Please," her eyes dug into him.

"Okay," he gave in. She smiled, and reached her hand over to the one on her head to pull his arm over her stomach. alongside her. He hesitated as he fell in beside her, as she clasped her hand over the one that resided on her belly now. He had no choice but to have his chest against her back, and couldn't find any strength to pull away as she fit her head into the space between his shoulder and his head, as her stray hairs tickled his neck, and his senses became overwhelmed by her smell, but overall by the soft, warm heat that emanated from her to him.

He just told himself that as soon as she was asleep, he would hightail it out of there before she awoke, so she wouldn't freak out. Otherwise she'd probably kick his ass, screaming she would never beg him to stay with her, because Isobel Stevens did not beg. He smirked to himself, and snuggled in closer, feeling her body to be unusually comfortable. Yeah, he'd be fine, he would remain with her for an hour or so, and then would go on his merry little way...

* * *

**Please Review**…_So, think ya know what's gonna happen next? Well, you won't be sure until the next chappie, which will come in after there are reviews, which I need to cheer me up after last nite's epi of Prison Break, and if you watch that show, u must feel my pain. All of which I swear is not blackmail. No, no, I wouldn't hold back a chapter in exchange for reviews. Where would you get that idea? Like I'm holding it ransom, or something..._


	18. You Make Me Wanna

**A/N:** Thanks to all those who reviewed, and so here is the update. This one here has a few revelations, and hints at the next chappie. Enjoy, because I most certainly enjoyed writing a certain moment in this ch…**ENJOY!!!**

"**Y**ou **M**ake **M**e **W**anna"

Something wasn't quite right. He could tell that something was wrong because he felt a smack on his head. He shot his eyes open and saw a woman standing over him with a newspaper. Thinking that maybe he was dreaming, he closed his eyes and opened them again, but that woman was still there. Hold on--he rubbed his eyes--it wasn't just any woman, it was Meredith.

"Meredith?" he said groggily.

"Shh," she put a finger to her mouth.

He looked at her warily, and decided to look around, as he was not quite aware of his surroundings.

His eyes made a turn at the walls and the ceiling, squinting to make sense of all the darkness, but then he felt the breath on his neck, and he looked down at the person snuggled into his chest.

"Shit," he muttered.

He hoisted himself up with his free hand, and softly moved Izzie's head from his arm, and was very thankful when she rolled away of her own will. He stood up slowly, trying to make this escape as invisibly as possible. Once away from the bed, he sighed in relief, only to be hit over the head by the newspaper again.

"Hey!" he yelped.

Meredith looked at him shocked, and they looked at Izzie. She seemed to be waking up as she tossed in the bed a bit, but then she stilled. They sighed in relief, and Meredith began yanking Mark out of the room. She closed the door and leaned against it.

"That was close," Mark said.

She glared at him, and hit him in his ribs.

"Would you stop that!" Mark yelled.

"You don't get to yell at me. You were sleeping with Izzie," she scolded him like a child.

"That is none of your business," he crossed his arms.

"She pays me rent, she cooks for me, she gives me time outs when I do, or am about to do something stupid. She talks to me, she listens to me, she is my friend. So she is my business."

Mark rubbed the back of his neck and failed to answer her. He began walking away from her, and he descended the stairs.

"So what, you're going to run away?" Meredith called after him.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs to face her.

"She took some painkillers that lulled her to sleep. She was kinda out of it when they were fully kicking in, and she asked me to stay so she'd fall asleep."

"Then why didn't you leave right away?"

"I must have fallen asleep," he said sternly.

Meredith didn't seem too convinced. She took a step towards him and squinted her eyes at him.

"What's going on Mark?"

"If you're going to ask me something, Dr. Grey, then ask something."

"Dr. Bailey was hiding whatever was going on with Izzie like it was a life or death thing. For some reason, you made it your mission to track down this mystery and crack it, and all these hours later, you pop up at Izzie's house, and you're sleeping next to her. Not next to your girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend," he shot.

She was taken aback. "Bu--what about you and Dr. Montgomery?"

"That's my business and hers, but I have done nothing wrong."

"If you've done nothing wrong, then answer this: you spent the better half of this day with Izzie, right?"

"Yes."

"And you brought her home?"

"Yes."

"Because she needed help and she asked you, or she needed help and you wouldn't take no for an answer."

"She was being irrational."

"Because you know what she needs, and were willing to give her just that."

"Ye--no," he stumbled.

"See!," Meredith began to laugh.

"See what?"

"You do care about her," she smiled. "I mean, you even gave up your surgeries for her, and you stood Addison up for her."

"How did you know that?"

She shrugged," A nurse heard Bailey talking to Addison on the phone, and Christina overheard that nurse gabbing about it."

He rolled his eyes and covered his face in his hands. "Dammit, alright fine, I forgot about about my date with Addison. Are you going to make a federal case out of all this?"

"Nope. Just going to ask what you're going to do about all this," she grinned.

"You are making no sense, Grey."

"I'm talking about your feelings," she continued with her goofy smile," and what we're going to do about them."

"We?"

"Okay, you, because Izzie does not like it when people gang up on her, but if I have to kick you to jump start you, I will," she threatened.

"If you know how to jump start me, then by all means…"

She swung at him with the newspaper again. "With your problems in the bedrooms, you shouldn't be making those type of jokes."

"I wish Derek didn't share everything with you," he grumbled as he massaged his recently struck arm.

"You just wished you had the same thing with someone. Wait--you did have that with someone, didn't you? You shared everything with her, you actually liked hearing what she had to say about everything, but you gave that up. So tell me, Mark, are you going to do something about this?"

He locked stares with her, and then he cracked a smirk and said," What makes you think I haven't already done something?"

She smiled and was about to push him some more when the doorbell rang.

"You get a lot of late night visitors, Grey?" he smirked.

She sighed and began walking to the door when Alex shouted out. "I'll get it!"

"Karev's here?"

"We hitched a ride together. But don't try to change the subject," she pointed a finger at him.

**GAGAGAGA**

"If it's Sheppard again…" Alex muttered as he swung the door open.

"Addison?!" he found it hard to swallow the piece of sandwich in his mouth.

"Karev," she smirked and walked in.

**GAGAGAGA**

"Addison?!" Grey and Sloan said in unison, surprised upon hearing Alex's scream.

Seems as though the night was just beginning.

**GAGAGAGA**

"Did I just hear Mark?" Addison began walking in the direction of the voices.

"I'm not the only one that heard it then," Alex mumbled behind her.

The four met half-way, and stared at each other confusingly. Well, three stared, and Alex just blurted out.

"What the hell is Sloan doing here?"

And then Meredith said," What is Addison doing here?"

"Let's go back to the Mark question," Addison spoke.

"Oh, he's just here for Izzie, but why are you here?" Meredith answered.

"You didn't come here for Sloan?" Alex walked to stand before Addison.

"How was I to know that Mark was here. In Meredith Grey's house. With Izzie?" she cocked an eyebrow.

Alex shrugged," You got phones, right?"

She smirked an looked from Mark to Meredith for a moment, noticing Stevens wasn't even in sight.

"Izzie's sleeping," she grinned," thanks to Mark, who made sure she got upstairs safely and took her medicine, right Mark?" Meredith jabbed him in the side.

He gave a wary look and responded, "Right…"

"Why are you here, Addison?" Mark shifted his focus.

She opened her mouth slightly and turned her gaze to Alex. "You're going to think this is really strange, but…" she smiled," I'm here to see Alex."

Alex looked at her wide-eyed and turned around to see Sloan's reaction. He looked perplexed to say the least, and he absolutely looked dumbfounded.

"Actually, I need to speak with him in private. If he'll allow it," Addison began to babble. "Which he doesn't have to, although I highly suggest he listen to me, because--"

"I got it Addison," he faced her again," come on, my room's upstairs."

Mark opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to make of this. He looked at the pair head upstairs and made a mental note to keep his ears on high alert, for any unusual noises.

"Well that's never happened before," Meredith mumbled. She looked at Mark. "At least she's not your girlfriend, right?"

"Right," he muttered.

"So them _talking_ doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Why should it? They're just talking…in his bedroom."

"I don't know," she shrugged," maybe cuz they've had the hots for each other for a while."

"What?!" he exclaimed.

"You didn't know?" she said calmly.

He inched towards her, his obviously irritated demeanor cutting her. "How exactly am I supposed to know?" he gritted.

His slight anger didn't bother her though. How could it bother her when she was more annoyed at him for being so oblivious, than she was scared of him.

"I seriously don't know how Izzie could have fallen for a guy as dense as you," she placed her hands on her hips. "The woman turns into a babbling, nervous wreck whenever Alex comes around. And Alex--you do remember the vanilla latte incident, don't you?"

"How fast do things travel in that hospital?" he inquired.

She shrugged and continued--"Whenever anyone insults Addison, he gets offended. Why do you think he gave you the wrong drink?"

Mark took a step back and stared at Meredith as his mind wandered. Damn, how had he not seen the clues? Hell, how had he become a world-class surgeon with that sort of ignorance?

"Are the pieces clicking?" Meredith clicking.

He nodded. "Shouldn't this be making me a little angry?"

"No. Because you're finally getting over yourself. You said you did something, already, right?"

He nodded.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with Addison not being your girlfriend."

He nodded.

"So what are you going to do now?"

* * *

"I certainly did not expect your room to be this clean," Addison commented as she came through his door. 

He scoffed. "Yeah, well before Izzie went through her baking spree, she decided to do a bit of cleaning. Claimed she was cleansing all things tainted."

"How tainted was this room?" she smirked.

He shrugged. "Not enough."

She nodded and glanced at the bare walls, and the plain sheets covering his bed. "Decorate much?" she mumbled.

"Nothing's inspired me," he caught her gaze, communicating that he didn't want to waste time, that she better have a good reason for bringing herself over.

Addison felt a bit unrestrained, almost timid at standing there, right in front of him, knowing how she had turned him down.

"I'm going to LA," she blurt out, uncomfortable of the silence.

Boy, did she know how to cut a man's concentration and fuel his anger.

"What!" Alex exclaimed.

"Just for a couple of days, of course," she explained, but couldn't stop," I was actually planning on going next month, but then Mark and I broke up, so I'm thinking tomorrow would be better--"

"You and Sloan broke up?" he gaped at her revelation.

"Right, I should have started with that," she chuckled.

"When," Alex regained his composure.

"Earlier tonight, in a very un-romantic, phone call," she tried matching the calm in his voice, although she couldn't sound quite as stern.

"So you're planning on ditching this place because of a break-up?" he asked in disbelief.

"I'm just going to visit a friend for a couple of days. A mini-vacation of sorts."

Addison didn't go on mini-vacations, hell, she didn't do anything rash 'just because.' Her being impulsive was like him thinking about consequences.

"My friend and I haven't seen each other in ages, and she compulsively asked me to go over there, said I might even like it so much, might join her private practice," she seemed to read his mind.

"You got a job offer in California?"

She rolled her eyes, and bit her lip, angry at having to explain every detail.

"Not exactly, but yes. But I'm only going for a visit."

"How I can I be so sure you won't take the offer up, and abandon this place, to begin a new life in Hollywood-land," Alex stepped closer to her, angry.

She laughed, maybe inappropriately, but the very idea he had spoken of sounded utterly ridiculous. "Believe me Alex, the last thing I would do is leave Seattle Grace for a private practice," she raised an eyebrow," but by what you told me at the wedding, I'd think a break from me is exactly what you would want."

"You were playing games Addison. Shit, I'm not even sure if you've come over here tonight to play some trick on me."

"I guess I deserve that," she looked down on the floor, because even then it still hurt. "But I just wanted to let you know everything. And everything is that Mark and I hadn't even really begun when the pact ended. Our relationship has been dead for over a year now, but tonight, we finally had our clean break. Mark finally got his closure."

"Then what did you get from this."

Smirking, she tilted her head a bit and gazed at him. "The knowledge that a man is willing to sacrifice his most prized possessions to be with me," she smiled," along with a guilt trip for forcing a man to give up what he loves most to be with someone like me."

"Guess you learned your lesson then," he shrugged.

He didn't add anything to this, didn't try to comfort her--he just let the tension build up, and let his eyes tell her that he was still hurt. Guess he wasn't going to let her find him.

"Guess I did," Addison breathed," I should take that as my cue to leave then." She nodded to the door.

"Yeah," Alex agreed with her.

"Okay then, I'm leaving," she began walking backwards.

Alex nodded.

She sighed and turned around, walking out and closing the door.

Alex stared at the door for five seconds, the amount of time it took her to burst right back through.

"You're not even goin to attempt to stop me," she threw the door open again.

He laughed. "It's more dramatic when the girl's left the house and the guy runs down the street to catch her."

"True," she nodded, smirking. "So let's say this hall out here is the street," she stepped back, a grin plastered on her face.

"Yeah," Alex nodded back, a grin on his face as well.

"And let's say that door," she pointed at his bedroom door, as she was already in the hallway," is the front door of the house."

"Yeah?" he inched towards the door.

"What happens now?" she asked him, as he stood in the doorway, and she walked down the hallway.

She stopped walking, and he kept walking, until he stood in front of her.

He brought his face to her, and tilted his head to his right, smirking down at her.

"What happens now is…," he held back a laugh as he watched her eyes flicker from his eyes to his lips," I wait for you to come back to LA, and we have a fresh start. No games."

Her silly smile faltered a second, but a wide smile overtook it. Okay, so it wasn't a kiss, but a fresh start more than made up for it.

"Okay," she whispered.

"But," he said," you have to come back."

She laughed. "There is nothing in LA that could keep me there."

He nodded.

"Are you two going to kiss!" Meredith screamed.

Alex and Addison looked over the railing, to notice that Mer and Mark were staring at them. Grumbling, Alex stepped away from Addison and began walking back downstairs, Addison following him.

Meredith waited for them at the stairwell, looking like a giddy little child who had just found the candy jackpot.

"Are you on crack?" Alex greeted her.

"Ha ha," she mocked him. She turned her gaze to Addison. "So, are you and Alex together?"

"Ex-boyfriend, standing right here!" Mark yelled from behind her.

Meredith ignored him. "So?"

"So," Addison crossed her arms. She looked at Alex and leaned towards Meredith, to whisper," I'm working on it."

Meredith giggled, very much like a schoolgirl and whispered to her. "And Mark's working on Izzie."

"Really?" Addison cocked an eyebrow," How so?"

"That--" Mark interrupted their girl chat, which he had clearly heard," Is my business."

"Fine, we'll stay out of it," Meredith pouted.

"And don't say a word to Izzie until I talk to her."

"Only if you tell her first thing tomorrow."

"Well, that's going to prove difficult," Addison commented.

"Yeah, she's gotta do rounds, get rid of her interns.." Alex explained.

"And I have a surgery in the morning," Mark finished off.

"No excuses," Meredith threw their arguments away. "You do not get to put off telling Izzie that you're no longer attached. "

"Okay Grey. No excuses. And no meddling."

"Deal," Meredith stuck out her hand.

Mark placed his hand in hers. "Deal," and he shook it.

"Okay," Meredith smiled," now you two, get out of here. We need our sleep."

"I'll walk them out," Alex said.

At the door, Alex and Addison shared a sickingly sweet smile, while Mark groaned as he covered his face, despite nothing happening. Addison left promptly, but Alex stopped Mark.

"You hurt her and I will meddle," Alex threatened him.

"We don't have to shake hands, do we?" Mark winced.

"No," Alex looked disgusted at the idea.

"Alright then. Deal," he nodded.

"Deal," Alex nodded back.

Mark turned to leave, but looked at Alex again for one last thing.

"I'm going to need your assistance on something, though."

* * *

He, he. Anyway, we're inching closer. Addie and Mark are 'so over,' and that break-up will be clarified a bit later, if you haven't caught on to when it happened...Mark has been smacked in the head (literally), and Izzie's bound to receive a few surprises (granted Alex's assistance, hint hint). Speaking of Alex, I finally added an Addex moment, per request--okay, I was dying to write their moment. So of course, **Please Review…**


	19. Good Day

Another **disclaimer**, because I am using some of episode 4x02, "Love/Addiction" though not used exactly as in the show, as there are minor changes in the dialogue and patient names. I obviously own nothing, otherwise Callie would have beaten Izzie's ass already, so Izzie could go back to being that girl we admired. Remember her? I faintly do, which is why it's hard to write her more and more everyday. So, enjoy!

_Lines in italic are lyrics._

"**G**ood **D**ay" (Jewel)

Thankfully the majority of the stiffness and soreness in her had subsided by the time she awoke, even if her body still felt a tad uncomfortable . Yet, she felt as though there was something missing in the setting of her rooms. Everything was as it was the morning before. Clothes in place, shoes put away, make-up lined up on the drawer, leather jacket at the foot of the bed...

Well, that explained the 'something out of place' thing.

Izzie stood up to pick up the leather jacket Mark had apparently forgotten. Come to think of it, she couldn't exactly pinpoint the time he left last night. She picked his jacket up gingerly, examining the fabric, wondering how long he'd endured with this this garment. Honestly, it was like his signature piece of clothing, as she could not remember him wearing any other jacket. She smirked to herself, realizing just how many things Mark used to charm women.

That mischievous glint in his eye, the cocky smirk, the suggestive wink, and his tight black leather jacket. He wasn't all that original when it came to the bad boy persona. Quite predictable, actually.

She brought the jacket up to her face, curiosity of the smell infused taking the best of her. Her nose caught onto the scent immediately, recognizing the scent from the other times she had been so near him. She smiled in content, the smell of Mark being so overwhelming, it was calming. After a few minutes of her holding the jacket to her nose, she pulled it away and set it back down on her comforter. She exhaled and looked for anything else out of place, when her eyes set on the clock. Her eyes widened, and began to run through her clothes frantically, hastily preparing for the job she had to be at in less than an hour. Gathering her clothes, she ran to the shower, where Alex was just stepping out. She pushed him out of the way and began to pull off her clothes. As her shirt made its way over her head, she noticed something peculiar. Her shirt? It smelled faintly like Mark's jacket. The smell wasn't as strong, but it was there. Deciding to shrug it off, she continued on her routine. She didn't have time to dwell on such particulars.

_I might make a wish, if I believed in that shit but  
As it is, I might watch TV  
Cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me_

* * *

A successful surgery already under his belt, Dr. Sloan took a breather at nurses station while filling out a few charts. He kept glancing up at the clock, wondering at what time Dr. Stevens would arrive. He had come in early for the surgery, but by this hour, the residents surely would be in already. He put away the charts, and was about to ask a nurse if they had seen Dr. Stevens, when he heard her voice behind her. He turned around, to see her instructing her interns to work in different areas. Swung over her arm was his jacket, which he had noticed was missing on his drive over to the hotel. He smirked, thankful she had been kind enough to bring it, because he couldn't do without the thing. 

Izzie quickly finished sending her interns away and turned around, to notice Mark staring at her. She smiled weakly and walked over to him.

"Good morning," she chirped a bit nervously.

"Good morning," he smiled confidently.

She seemed to get lost in her thought, as she didn't say anything. He nodded to his jacket, and she rolled her eyes at herself.

"Right," she slipped the jacket to her hand. "You forgot it," and she handed it to him.

"Thanks," he took the jacket, brushing his hand over her fingertips, trying to remember the feeling he had the day before.

This made her smile upturn a bit more.

Mark handed the jacket over to a nurse, asking her to hold it for him. He turned back to Izzie, where she remained in place.

"I wanted to, um, thank you for last night," she played with her hands.

"Don't worry about it."

She nodded and took a deep breath, and glanced around, feeling awkward. "Okay, so..." she laughed nervously.

"Listen, Izzie."

"Yeah?" she eyed him.

"Do you think we could talk in private?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but Mark's pager went off.

"Come on," he indicated for her to follow him.

He rushed off, without her answering him, knowing she would follow him without questions.

Mark burst into a room where Callie began giving him statistics on the patient.

"Age 60, second and third degree burns over chest and upper abdomen, facial contusions and possible shoulder fraction." The man, who, if she heard correctly, was named Archie Roche, had been caught in a stove fire explosion of an apartment.

Mark began asking the patient some routine questions as Callie ordered Izzie to do some films on him, to which she scurried off, not needing further instructions.

**GAGAGAGA**

For some odd reason, Izzie could not get rid of her anxiety. She had been a bit more calm as she took care of the guy's films, and as she ran some other errands, but as soon as she came back into the patient's room, she became a nervous kid all over again. It was no coincidence that her anxiety fits happened when she was around Mark, though.

Even the patient seemed to notice her unusual demeanor.

Izzie was organizing the tool trays when she dropped a tool, and immediately said 'Oh, sorry, sorry' when she placed it back on the tray.

Mr. Roche gave her a strange look, but didn't let on, as he had other concerns.

"Any news on my neighbor?" Oaks asked.

"I, uh, promise as soon as I hear something, I'll uh, give you an update."

Mark gave her an amused grin as she answered the patient with such uncertainty, but kept his concentration on the patient's burns. His concentration was interrupted again though when Izzie dropped something else from the tray.

He gave her a worrisome glance this time.

"Crap!" she screamed," Sorry, I'm really sorry." Callie, Mark, and the patient eyed her strangely.

"Really sorry," she repeated.

Callie nodded her head in disapproval, and read the film's findings to Mark. The patient paid no attention to this and began rambling about the neighbor's kid, expressing his concern for the kid he often babysat, and had a great liking for.

He turned a question to Mark, then, one that Izzie even turned her ear to.

"You have any kids, doctor?"

"Not that I know of," Mark answered casually.

"Hmm, not married either, are ya?" he observed.

She heard Mark inhale briefly before answering.

"I'm afraid I haven't found anybody who'll put up with me."

Izzie observed how his cool smirk looked more sad than confident when he answered this, and found herself intrigued by the direction of this conversation.

"Don't be a stick. Don't do like I did. Don't be a bachelor your whole life. You can only play the field for so long. Suddenly one day your whole life passes by, and parts aren't working like they used to. "

"They have medicine for that now," he responded nonchalantly.

Izzie rolled her eyes at him and smiled.

"They don't have medicine for all that alone part, now do they?"

"No, I suppose not," he said grimly, looking away from the patient's eye.

"Hmm, you got some pretty ones right here," the patient looked at Izzie in particular, who in response to the patient's suggestion, nearly knocked over the entire tray.

"I'm really sorry," Izzie gulped, not able to look at Mark," sorry."

Mark raised his eyebrow at her, and grinned at how she couldn't hide her nerves at this subject.

"I'm already married," Callie pulled herself out of the 'race.'

"And he's already in a relationship," Izzie said without thinking.

"No he's not," Callie dictated, garnering an angry look from Mark.

"What? You broke up with Addison, remember."

"He—he did?" Izzie looked from Callie to Mark, confused. "When?"

"Last night," Mark said before Callie blurted anything else out.

Mr. Roche looked at the two doctors, who were now locked in a stare.

"I, I need to check on my interns," Izzie excused herself from the room.

"Hurry back, Stevens!" Callie yelled.

When she left, Mark shot another look at Callie.

"Have you ever heard of keeping your mouth shut, Dr. Torres?"

* * *

"You're doin' a fine job," Mr. Roche offered a compliment to Izzie, who was peeling back some of his skin.

"You're acting awfully odd. You had me a little nervous," he continued.

"Sorry about that," Izzie replied.

"Strange that you aren't nervous now that Dr. Sloan ain't around here."

"Huh, I didn't notice," Izzie feigned.

The patient chuckled, not buying into Izzie's denial. "You didn't notice that he's single now, either, huh?"

Izzie smiled weakly, and wasn't sure whether she was grateful that Mark came in right then so she didn't have to respond, or annoyed at the irony of stepping in right then.

"Mr. Roche, I'm going to ask you a question," Mark didn't hesitate in addressing his patient. "I don't want you to be offended by it, but the answer could affect your surgery."

"Fine, fire away."

"Are you a crystal meth user?"

"You're kidding, right, he's like 60?" Izzie spoke out of turn, perhaps angry at the mere suggestion that such a patient had this issue, or angry at Mark in general.

"No judgment, sir," Mark ignored her," all I need is a yes or no answer."

"Crystal what?"

"It's a drug sir, it's um, addictive. It's very dangerous," Izzie explained.

"Well, then, unless you put it in my blood pressure medicine, I never touched the stuff."

"What's going on?" Izzie asked.

"The neighbor's had a meth lab in their apartment, that's what caused the explosion," he explained.

"Marla and Dave had a drug lab in their apartment? No. Impossible. Absolutely not..." he kept going, in disbelief that the people he'd known for five years would do such a thing.

Izzie and Mark exchanged looks, knowing that anything was possible in this world.

"Stevens, a moment?" Mark nodded to the door.

"Sure," she stepped outside.

Mark leaned on the wall, and with crossed arms, began," I was going to tell you about Addison, but as always, things got hectic."

"You don't owe me an explanation, Dr. Sloan."

He winced at her professional nod. "I kind of do, Stevens. But not right now, we have to get this patient's surgery underway."

"Okay," Izzie nodded.

"Dr.Torres is on her way, and she's going to want you in on the surgery, so I'll have to talk to you when the day clears."

"Alright."

Mark nodded at her meek answer, and left her side.

_I say to myself, as I smile at the wall, just let myself fall..._

"When the day clears," she mumbled to herself, "yeah, like that's happening anytime soon."

_Can't think standing here no more  
I'm alone, my mind's racing, heart breaking  
Can you be everything I need you to be?_

* * *

"Well, this has been an interesting day," Izzie sat on the bench next to Alex. 

"Heard about the knock out," she referred to the dad of the kid who had punched Alex out.

"There have been worse days," he shrugged.

"Yeah, at least I got in on a surgery," Izzie counted the up side.

"Hey, Iz?" he cleared his throat as Izzie began to put away some things.

"What?"

"You talk to Sloan today?"

She eyed him warily. "Yeah..."

"So you heard about him and Addison?"

"I heard about their break-up, yes. Why?"

"No reason," he shook his head and locked his locker.

She looked him over, taking in the fact that he was already out of his scrubs and in his casual wear.

"You leaving already?"

"No," he smirked at her. "_We_ are leaving already."

"What?" she dug in her eyebrows.

"Come on, change out of those clothes. I'll wait for you in the parking lot," he stood up and walked out of the locker room, knowing her curiosity would win out and she'd head downstairs, so he could get this 'assistance' over with.

_This crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have  
Because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch  
God, but still we laugh_

* * *

"You know, I'd really appreciate it if you told me where we're going," Izzie kept bugging him. 

"I told you, I heard about this neat little restaurant not too far off, and I wanted to check it out."

"And you couldn't drag some other girl there?"

"Hey, I just want some good food with a good friend, okay?"

"Fine," she huffed, and kept quiet for the rest of the car ride.

Soon though, she began noticing how this route looked too familiar. And how, if he took the next turn, he would be running right into a quaint restaurant that she had been introduced to by the very man who never strayed too far from her thoughts.

"Alex..." her eyes grew wide at the realization of where she was being taken.

"Yeah," he took the last turn.

"Who told you about this place?"

He shrugged. "Some nurse," and he parked in the lot, which unusually had only two parked cars.

He opened his door to step out, but Izzie didn't budge to leave.

"I am not liking this," she said.

"Come on, Iz."

"Alex."

"Izzie."

They stared each other out until Izzie finally rolled her eyes to give in.

"Fine," she complained. She got out of the car and waited for Alex, so they could walk up to the entrance together. Alex grabbed for the handle, but stopped mid-way after pulling it.

"Shit," he muttered.

Izzie looked at him. "What?" she was impatient.

"I forgot my wallet in the car."

She rolled her eyes for the hundredth time that day at him.

"Just go in and get a seat while I get my wallet," he said.

Too irritated to even reply, she just pulled the door open and walked in while he walked back to the car. She was too busy muttering obscenities about Alex when she first walked in that she didn't notice the lack of customers.

When the door slammed behind her and she roamed the restaurant with her eyes, she was able to make note of this.

"Wha--" she furrowed her brows.

"Hello ma'm," a Southern voice greeted her.

She looked in the direction of the voice to see the guy who had waited on her and Mark on occasion, when the two headed off to lunch there.

"Hello," she offered him a smile. She walked over to the counter, where he stood behind, with his apron and baseball cap.

"I'm sorry, is this place not open today or..."

"Nope, it is. Just a slow day is all," he smiled. She remembered Mark informing her that this guy owned the homely diner, along with his brothers.

"Oh," Izzie still felt as if she was missing some pertanent information.

"Why don't you take a seat here?"

"Okay," she sat up in the chair in front of the counter, glancing at the door, wondering what was taking Alex so long.

"Waiting for someone?"

"Uh, yeah..." she took her eyes back to him. "My friend brought me here, but he forgot something in the car. Sure is taking a while though."

"Well, why don't you take a look at the menu while you wait?" he slipped her a menu across the counter.

"Thanks," she mumbled. She opened the menu while she took another look at the door, as her suspicions grew and grew. When she turned back to the counter, she noticed the owner had left her sight.

"What the--" Izzie suddenly had the urge the get the hell out of there, when her eyes fell on the menu, and every fleeting urge in her dissipated, and she never felt more transfixed.

Instead of food courses, there were two pages worth of a letter taped over the laminated pages. A letter in Mark's writing.

**GAGAGA**

_It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say  
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see  
It's gonna be OK..._

* * *

Who wants to read Mark's letter to Izzie? Then you might want to **REVIEW**...FYI, the next ch. is the last. Thought you'd want to know. 


	20. Can U Believe

_A/N: I had two alternative endings, and I went with this one after some internal debating. Yes, the other one is written also, but it was far sappier... This fin is a creative choice by the author. In either ending, the letter does appear. Anyway, after much delay, and from Georgia (on a very boring vacation), I give you the end, whilst fiddling nervously, hoping you **ENJOY.**_

"Can You Believe"

She glanced around the diner, watching for any clues as to how this letter arrived in her hands. No sign of Alex yet, and definitely no sign of Mark. The owner definitely disappeared all too quickly, and all she could infer was that somehow Mark had bribed Alex to bring her to this little restaurant, where Mark had apparently bribed the owner into renting it out for the day. How the customers were kept from coming to the restaurant at all was another mystery altogether. Then he (Mark) must have written the letter and had it placed over a menu conveniently handed to her.

Was this a romantic gesture, or just some way to excuse himself so as to not feel any guilt?

She took another look around and noted that he could be either in the kitchen or in the outdoor dining area--given that he was in the vicinity.

Izzie looked back down at the letter, inhaled deeply, and began to read the contents of the letter, in hopes of cracking the secret to this little show Mark was seemingly playing out.

* * *

_Dear Isobel,_

_I realize how impotent this letter may seem. I can only hope that this will change your mind about me, or that you'll have some faith in me. But this isn't about me. Well, maybe a little. God, do you know how many letters I've already thrown out? Let's hope this is lucky number seven. Alright, so I don't know where to begin--I just know that I need another smack in the head. _

_Maybe it's best to start by answering you, by telling you what I see when I look at you. Aside from the obvious observations of you being incredibly courageous, stubborn, beautiful, honest, and strong, I see a woman forging her path according to her roots. Some people walk into this profession with a set method, with statistically proven methods. They lose themselves in hospitals, some before they enter a hospital, in medical school where they do not cross the line. They do what they're told, and don't ever try to become something more than just an ordinary doctor. Others do become more than doctors. They perform rare procedures, they are the first to try procedures which have never been practiced on live beings. And the most praised doctors formulate new procedures, work day after day to find cures for that which is supposedly incurable. And then there's the great, admired doctors who will do anything for their patients. Who confront their patients who are risking too much. Who never sacrifice who they are to prove their greatness to some cocky medical members. Who are willing to sacrifice their medical degrees to do that which is right._

_Even before I really knew you Izzie, I knew you were going to be one of those doctors. I'm not going to say you're destined to be that most beloved doctor, but the fire in you has told everyone that you have that capacity in your hands. And the best part is that you can't even see it. After all, the best geniuses never proclaim their genius. Average geniuses like me on the other hand, only know how to boast (hey if you've got it, flaunt it…) But I loved your naiveté, because you knew the frailty of life. _

_What I saw most in you when I first met you, though, was your willingness to let others be happy. Watching from afar, people who have never experienced love or true friendship will spit venom at those who have discovered true joy. You however, have always been genuinely happy for others. It was that which I admired. Despite heartbreak, despite disappointment, despite all the ironic failures in life, you remained optimistic. You always did remind me of those characters Sandra Bullock plays on those sappy chick flicks--not that I've watched any._

_It pained me seeing you sometimes Izzie. Because when you interned with me, you were so happy, so eager to share your knowledge. When we became properly (or ironically) acquainted, you weren't so eager nor were you sharing the good-news gossip of the hospital. You were crying, and when you told me why, I figured the confession and the ceasing of tears meant you'd learn from an experience and you'd revert to scolding me for being such an ass. Instead you started teaching me about being the opposite of an ass, because you knew the problem wasn't that I never learned to be a good person, but rather that I had never put those things to practice. I know that you're thinking 'I never taught him anything' but you did, accidental as it may have been, you did teach me a few things. And you did this by simply being a friend, with no questions asked or conditions, you walked in and shared your laughter with me. You shared the ideal that being a friend meant allowing mistakes, but not without confronting them._

_Isobel, I have no right to ask anything of you, especially after rambling on so long. But I just want you to be that girl that months ago would have kicked my ass and told me everything that was on her mind, not just the primary points._

_You said some words that at the same time broke my heart and made me want to be more than just the man Addison thought of as the cheating bastard. You made me want to be the man I had always known thrived within me, but was suffocated just because no one else thought I could be anything but a man of many ladies. Guess looks can be a curse, huh?_

_I understand now the ramifications of my actions, or lack thereof I should say. I hope you can forgive me, and my stupidity. As my therapist once noted--'behind this rugged and confident exterior, I'm self destructive and self loathing to an almost pathological degree.' I want to move past this, and I want you to be able to move past this with me so we can begin something worth moving onto._

_You don't have to respond to me, and you don't have to think twice about this letter. I just need you to know that you are not Addison. You're Isobel Stevens--the only person to ever see something in me that I never saw. Something mirrors could not communicate. Addison's a good woman, but she never looked at me in the way I looked at her. She has her own path. I have mine. For your sake of mind, I will tell you that I can see you, that I look at you not because I want to see how I look in your eyes, but because it's insanely incredible how a soul like yours can reside in something very much alive._

_I do see you._

_Sincerely, _

_McSteamy (ahh, I couldn't resist--Mark)_

_P.S.--If by chance you want to respond to this letter, go into the outdoor dining area._

* * *

She scrunched her eyebrows, eyes glazing over the words he crafted over the letter. His writing was not necessarily easy to read, but the words had been perfect. But was it enough? Was his _sincerely_, enough?

A rush of emotions swept through her, however, the one that struck her innermost core was the same that had begun this whole charade.

_**Compassion.**_

Angst, anger, ardent anxiety fired the drops of tepid water peering behind her orbs. She extinguished the droplets before they shaped, and instead her fingers swept over the inscribed words of Mark.

Her skin felt over some of his stretched out words, his clumped together letters, his almost illegible lines, and over the sincerely he had parted with.

Her fingers lingered over his signoff, McSteamy, for a few seconds, until her fingertips made a stop at his name--Mark.

He had so many flaws, made too many mistakes, bypassed her feelings, and even his own, for a woman that could never understand him the way she did.

They complemented each other, and with this letter, he was saying he understood all of this now, that he could see the truth.

Could she let herself believe he saw her as a lover, and not just a friend, though?

Could she stand up right now, and walk outside, where he might be waiting?

Could she believe that this was where her life would change again, but this time, for the better?

She turned her head to look out at the patio, for a hint of what was out there. She hesitated to stand, to walk out there. She couldn't see a thing from that point, but she feared that maybe he was out there, waiting. After this letter, what more would he have to say? She breathed in. She took the tape off from the letter, and folded it neatly to place it in her coat's pocket. and placed it in her pocket.

Maybe Mark was out there, maybe he wasn't. If he was, then she'd have to hear him out, but after that sincerely, she wasn't sure if she'd like some further explanation from him. Either way, she had to find out what awaited her.

__

Can you believe?  
When all that you've got is doubt

And no one to pull you out

When your heart is slowin' down  
Can you believe?

* * *

"Only Hope" 

Izzie stepped gingerly to the door that led from the restaurant to the outdoor dining area. She pushed the door open slowly, delaying the discovery. Once it was open, she stepped outside, but could not spot anyone or anything. She saw the area expand to her left, bending around the building, to overlook the ocean. She took anther breath, and kept walking, sure that whatever waited for her, waited at the turn.

And there he was, sitting at a table, tapping his foot, and fidgeting with a salt shaker in his hand. He heard her footsteps, and his head shot up. Catching her weary eyes, he stood up quickly, almost knocking the chair over.

"Izzie," he smiled nervously.

"Hey," she smiled tightly.

"Hey?" he offered.

She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. "Is that all we're going to say?"

"No," he laughed.

"Then what?" she shrugged.

"Did you get the letter?" he bit his lip.

"Yes."

"So…?"

"So I don't get it."

"Was it not clear or--?"

"No, Mark. It was clear, it just didn't make sense," she glanced around, flitting her eyes from the sea to the tables surrounding them.

He made his way closer to her, where only a few feet separated them. She stood her ground and raised her eyes to him. There was hesitancy in her eyes, which he could not ignore, which only made him more nervous

"You said a lot of things that I wanted to hear, but words can only do so much, Mark," she challenged him.

"What else can I do Izzie?" he gazed through her eyes, searching for an answer. The sincerity shone right through to her, and she didn't know how much longer she could stand so close to him with him looking at her like that.

She blinked, and licking her lips, said," You can tell me what you want."

"Well, if you want me to be completely honest…" he grinned.

"Yes," she affirmed quickly, looking up at him.

"I want you, Isobel Stevens," he said, not missing a beat.

She bit back a smile," How can I be sure I'm not just a rebound?"

"It may sound trite, Izzie, especially coming from a guy like me. But you can do is trust me. I only see you," he repeated the line from his letter.

She closed her eyes, and he could see her running through things in her mind. There was doubt etched in between her eyebrows, and her knuckles turned white from her holding onto herself so tightly.

"When--at what time did you break it off with her?" her eyes remained closed.

"When I went to grab you a bottled water."

"Huh, when your phone rang," she scoffed, connecting the dots.

"Yeah. Addison called to chastise me about forgetting the date we had that night."

Izzie opened her eyes, realizing he had forgotten because he had been helping her.

"And she broke up with you because of that…?" she was half-afraid that it had happened that way.

"No--it just got us to talking. To facing the facts. That what we had going was far from a relationship," he admitted.

Izzie didn't have a comment, or a response to this. So many other questions rose to mind, so much anger she wanted to throw at him. But she did have a certain question that could do away with a third of the anger.

"Who broke up with whom?"

"It was mutual."

Well, that didn't solve anything.

"But she did leave it up to me," he finished.

She brought her eyes up to him. "So then where does that leave you?"

"Here. With you," he smirked. "You're not second-best Izzie. I don't love her. Shit, I haven't loved her for a long time, at least not as more than a friend."

"And you just had this epiphany?"

She kept her distance, kept throwing questions, because she was still afraid.

"I've known it, I just didn't want to put that fact out there, because I wanted to keep holding on. But I found something better."

"That line sounds a little bit rehearsed," she slipped him another objective.

He chuckled," Yeah, I just heard myself, too."

"But last night, when you were just sleeping in my arms--"

"Sleeping in your arms?" she disrupted him.

He chuckled nervously.

"You insisted on me staying the night so you could fall asleep."

She flinched, feeling a tad embarresed, but making sense of why her shirt had smelt like Mark."Oh...," she whispered with a downcast glance.

"Anyway," he continued as she hadn't scolded him," When I was holding you, and even when we were talking and bickering that night, it felt like when we were friends, just a lot more right, because you let me lie next to you. I've never done that, not with anyone. Not with any person, have I been able to hold someone and feel so comfortable, that I fell asleep. I've always been that guy that kicks the girl out of bed after sex, or the guy that runs off afterwards, but with you--God, Stevens you have me counding like some love-sick puppy, but it's the only thing that's coming to me right now--right now, I can only think of how right, and how good it felt to just have you sleeping next to me."

He took a pause as her eyes became embedded with a haze of unshed tears.

"I don't want to settle for security over discovery anymore, Izzie," he whispered to her.

His words hit her, because she had felt these things long ago. When she had wanted to find something unique, something meant only for her, something that would take her places she couldn't imagine, and as scary as it might be, to places no one could predict. But after Mark turned her down, she wasn't so sure of embarking on unknown territories anymore. Still, she could not stop the yearning in her heart. A yearning that wished Mark would push her into his territory, without anymore doubts.

And she felt the overwhelming sensation that she could lose her heart all over again. That if he disappointed her once again, she could not handle it.

She kept her eyes on him, biting her lip, wishing he would do or say something, because she was tired of taking action.

"Please Izzie, give me a shot," he broke their silence.

Theire eyes kept steady. Either way, this emotion trembled over her. Pushing her to break.

"I love you Izzie," his finger softly placed itself under her chin.

His eyes bore into hers. His heart, as he saw her fighting through doubt in her mind, it had never quite vibrated this strongly. Simultaneously he wanted to look at her forever and hold her. He saw her blink something back. His thumb to her left eye found this thing. A gentle wipe found it was a tear. Well, there was no choice now. He just had to hold her.

He wrapped her up, a hand holding her head, an arm tight around her waist. He whispered in her ear a 'sorry' and kissed her hair softly. He also blinked back a tear. How much damage had he inflicted on this beautiful, amazing woman?

She scrunched up his shirt as she buried herself in it. The tears never did come. She had just been in disbelief that she was here. And that for the first time, he was in the same place as her. After all his depreciation, he came to realize what feeling is, compared to wanting an ideal. Breathing him in, a smile formed, and she pulled her head back to look at him. His face so perfectly sculpted. The stubble that gave him a rough, but mature and sophisticated look. The graying, but evidently blonde hairs only worked even more to his advantage. How she had ever been able to resist his eyes when they first met was the biggest mystery. And looking into him now, she knew she never had a shot in hell in resisting him. From day one his silent fears, present in his desperate charm, had captured her curiosity.

Her eyes roamed his face. And he watched, afraid that she was looking into his flaws. Instead her lips landed on his.

Eyes steady. Steadier than they'd ever been. Hers are closed. His are closed.

His response is immediate, but not quick. She has his bottom lip, she nibbles it, trying to pour her tongue into his mouth. He does not fight her. He doesn't want to fight her. Her force is strong, and maybe he's far too weak for her, and so he has no choice but allow her to envelop his mouth. She explores his space to find every inch of his mouth, to massage his tongue, and taste him. And he feels himself strengthen, wanting to pour himself in her more than she is in him.

Her hands go on either side of his face, then up to his hair, ruffling it, pulling it to bring his face closer. Then her hands travel down his chest, gripping his shirt, to feel his skin, his rough and albeit smooth abs.

His goes to her hips, trying to keep her steady, until her mouth is not enough. Until kissing her neck, pulse gets to be too much.

Izzie gasps as he sucked on her tender skin, and her fingers slowly let go of his shirt, and Mark pulls his head back up to hers.

They open their eyes to each other, to see that the other is smiling deliriously.

She placed her hand softly over his chest. "I want you to promise me something."

He nodded. "Alright."

"Never, ever, compare me to Addison. Mentally, physically, emotionally, internally or externally, don't ever draw two lines in the sand and keep score."

He smiled at her and nodded, adding, "I swear," to his confirmation.

"Okay," she dropped his hand and smiled widely. "And I want us to do things the right way. "

"Which way is that?" he smirked, arching an eyebrow, hoping it wasn't something outrageous.

"We're going to date. You are going to wine and dine me, shower me with gifts, and sweep me off my feet. I don't want to go a day without knowing that you love me, and that this is real."

He gave her a soft, encouraging smile, and held her head in the palm of his hands. "I'l do everything in my power to make sure of that."

She nodded, a tint of pink hitting her cheeks at his show of affection. "And we're going to take each step one by one,"she traced her fingers up his chest.

Mark began to laugh, and he took a step back to look at her face. But she only had on a grin.

"You're serious," he stopped laughing.

She rolled her eyes. "You are really dense sometimes; of course I'm serious."

"So then--how long will this next step take?"

She raised her eyebrows and got closer to him, again. "That depends," she smiled. "In the meantime…" she placed her arms around his neck," we can do this…"

She crashed her lips on top of his, and he whole-heartedly agreed. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and his lips found the perfect beat to ride her rhythm. And although he was yet to be with her soul _and_ body, he knew that he wouldn't have a single problem performing. Because this was not a woman intent on keeping score.

Izzie wasn't giving him a test. She was letting him find the extent of his respect, but until then, he would gladly take things nice and slow.

And Izzie was just glad that Mark finally saw her, and no one else. There was hope for him after all. Hope for him, and for her.

_There's a song that's inside of my soul  
__  
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again  
I'm awake in the infinite cold  
But You sing to me over and over and over again...  
__When it feels like my dreams are so far  
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again..._

_I know now, you're my Only Hope.  
_

* * *

Final chappie, so I would appreciate nothing more than feedback, so**Please Review**. Now onto the (not so formal) formalities. 

Ch. 20 title song: "Can U Believe" (Robin Thicke)

Story Title: "Only Hope" (the Mandy Moore version)

Story written By: E.G.

_**Big Story Disclaimer:** Yeah, I was the genius who formed Gizzie, made the kick-ass Callie out to be a witch, and did away with the awesomely talented Isaiah Washington while keeping the awesomely boring T.R. Knight around. Thankfully, I own no part of those things. Just like I don't have the bragging rights to casting Eric Dane, or the awesome speech given to Izzie by Callie (who, now more than ever, totally rocks my socks!) …By writing and posting this story, I only do away with the pestering 'plot bunnies' that leave once I put pen to paper, the joy of spreading McStizzie love, and the great feedback by readers._

This story went on longer than I imagined (7 months!), was crazy long (20 chaps. again, just as I finished another 20 ch. story?!), but still a lot of you stuck around. So thanks to those who kept interest in this story, to those who took time out to review, and to all those McStizzie lovers. We shall get our day…someday…hopefully…**PEACE** _and lots of McSteamy love..._


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